Bp destroyed my last relationship

jed9

jed9

NDcel
Joined
Sep 26, 2024
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It was the first relationship I’ve ever been in, the first time I ever actually felt love, it was perfect too, no arguments not even many disagreements, we would FaceTime every night until we fell asleep, but my mental health got in the way, I was always worrying about if she was cheating on me with chad, even though we spoke all day long, everything she did and everywhere she went, I would constantly stress about her being with a better looking guy, I am very insecure about myself, although I didn’t express my worry to her about all of this, I think in her eyes it was the perfect relationship, until I started getting more and more bpd and more insecure, I suppose I started to express my worries about her cheating on me to her, this made her slowly become more distant from me, taking longer to respond, not as long FaceTime, just small stuff like that, obviously, this fueled my worries and insecurity even more, so the more I expressed these feelings to her, the more distant she became to me, and this kept going until she eventually had enough, I wasn’t stopping her going out, I wasn’t making her change clothes or shit, it was just my ND brain saying she was cheating on me :feelswhy: then when she eventually broke up with me, I went absolutely crazy I just couldn’t do anything I say in my bedroom all day just staring at the wall (pretty much what I do now) i begged for her to come back, I didn’t realise what a cuck I was being until recently, I don’t think it’s a good idea I come into contact with any more girls for a long long time, this made me go insane, I still miss her a little bit, I got rid of all the gifts she made me, which made me very upset and whatever, bp really destroyed me and I’m only 15 :feelswhy: I rot in my room all day long doing nothing while other kids my age have friends and go to parties and have fun doing whatever :cry:
 
It was the first relationship I’ve ever been in, the first time I ever actually felt love, it was perfect too, no arguments not even many disagreements, we would FaceTime every night until we fell asleep, but my mental health got in the way, I was always worrying about if she was cheating on me with chad, even though we spoke all day long, everything she did and everywhere she went, I would constantly stress about her being with a better looking guy, I am very insecure about myself, although I didn’t express my worry to her about all of this, I think in her eyes it was the perfect relationship, until I started getting more and more bpd and more insecure, I suppose I started to express my worries about her cheating on me to her, this made her slowly become more distant from me, taking longer to respond, not as long FaceTime, just small stuff like that, obviously, this fueled my worries and insecurity even more, so the more I expressed these feelings to her, the more distant she became to me, and this kept going until she eventually had enough, I wasn’t stopping her going out, I wasn’t making her change clothes or shit, it was just my ND brain saying she was cheating on me :feelswhy: then when she eventually broke up with me, I went absolutely crazy I just couldn’t do anything I say in my bedroom all day just staring at the wall (pretty much what I do now) i begged for her to come back, I didn’t realise what a cuck I was being until recently, I don’t think it’s a good idea I come into contact with any more girls for a long long time, this made me go insane, I still miss her a little bit, I got rid of all the gifts she made me, which made me very upset and whatever, bp really destroyed me and I’m only 15 :feelswhy: I rot in my room all day long doing nothing while other kids my age have friends and go to parties and have fun doing whatever :cry:
15 and it’s all over.
 
  • +1
Reactions: jed9
Hesn ot truecel like us @maxlooksmax
 
  • +1
Reactions: jed9
Life doesnt end at 20 buddy, you still got a good 20-25 years of “living”
 
  • JFL
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