D
Deleted member 338641
Iron
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2026
- Posts
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At 12, in the middle of 7th grade, I saw a girl in the playground and she was 1 year older than me and was beautiful, stunning, lovely, dazzling. I immediately started liking her and I still like her to this day (i’m 16), however I was a geek, without a lot of friends (I was alone at every playgrounds), bad looking and ugly so I searched on internet « how to become prettier », some results came and I found a guy talking about how he became more attractive on reddit. So I searched on reddit the same thing: « how to become attractive ». I navigated all night on reddit and found a guy talking about his journey with « looksmaxxing ». I thought this term was strange and I looked for this word and found another post on this subject (which i refound 4y later 
). - This was my first introduction to looksmaxxing and all this shit.
After that, months passed and I continued reading reddits posts because I really wanted her to look at me and I knew I was ugly, and I eventually found org in late 2022 or start of 2023 I don’t remember quite yet but I remember being on it in winter 2022. From that, I got introduced to the bp in summer 2023 and I didn’t even cared, I thought it was fake. I continued my journey in looksmaxxing, reading guides and doing softmaxxes to improve for her. In late 2023, I got into this perfect class in 8th grade and this school year was the best year of my life. I started making new friends because I kinda got a better personnality thanks to looksmaxxing and I was so happy, communicating with everyone, I didn’t even cared that much about my appearance (even tho I still tried to hide when people took photos). In the middle of the year, a girl joined our middle school and our class. She had contacts with popular girls in hour middle school so she didn’t have a lot of trouble to make friends and get popular too. We quickly got friends because we were next to each others in french class. We had a really strong bond (we didn’t love each others.. we were friends). One day, I told her I didn’t have a lot of friends and she said that yk we were friends and I remember this sentence to this day because I was desperate, alone in 7th grade and now, I was finally getting affection and I improving my status. Thanks to her, I got the opportunity to join a group, I integrated myself pretty easily at the time it was like the group with popular kids and I was hanging out every days, I wasn’t alone anymore on the way to go back to home. Anyway I was fulfilled! Summer came, I still talked to everyone I met in 8th grade, and I met another girl during these summer holidays, we were talking every days, we becamed best friends and I went to NYC, this was really my year (from september 2023 to september 2024). I didn’t even cared that much about looksmaxxing, I was still doing some research once a time and doing some things but not like I was doing in winter 2022. Eventually, I got bored by the girl I met in this summer and blocked her because idk. Now idk if I regret because it was kinda great talking to her but anyway I think this mf cursed me because from that day in august, I once again saw a bp post on org, and didn’t avoid it (because I was thinking those threads were insignificant) this time I read it more carefully than last time and I kind of though it was funny at first but I remembered being alone in 2022 and realized it was true. It has been eating away at me to this day : I started realizing I was even more ugly than what I thought and that it was over, I wouldn’t get her. At the same time, I started seeing her repost things about how she loved her boyfriend. This was the start of my nightmare. It faded away all my social skills I had developed in 8th grade, I was walking like a bot: not moving my arms when I was walking, constantly thinking people were looking at me. I really becamed asociable. This was mainly during 9th grade. My class was fine too but puberty also started growing my face, especially my midface and all this stress made me recessed, I couldn’t sleep at night, I was thinking about her everyday and thinking I could never even have her gaze.. This unsociability was also developed because this group I talked about earlier, which I was seeing every days, started harassing me because I was getting stranged, I was getting mocked at, hit, being spat on. I didn’t even wanted to go to school anymore. There was also a guy in this group that was in my class and at the start of the year, we became friends but he noticed my behavior so he kind of made the harassment even worse, turning everyone against me, he laughed at me, making me the strange kid so he could get popularity by belittling me. Eventually, everyone started to be against me and told me I was absent-minded but I was really just tired because I wasn’t sleeping enough and my pains were getting were intensifying. One day, that girl to which I talked to since 8th grade removed me from her private account and made her birthday without me even tho 1 month earlier she said she would invite me. From that moment, I became even more insecure, not talking to anyone and I was not eating at lunch, locking in the toilets and waiting the 1h and a half not to be seen alone because I lost all my friends which I once had. I lost everyone and last time I saw her was when I was invited by this group to go to the town hall park because they were doing something with fireworks in summer 2024 before getting to 9th grades. She moved to high school (10th grade in my school system) and then this year, I scrapped students from the school’s api and she wasn’t on the list so I thought she changed school and this was confirmed when I saw one of her reposts. I never dared to dm her because of how ugly I am. This summer (2025), I was alone, cooped up in my room, doing nothing but reading org threads, scrolling on tiktok and watching youtube videos. I also noticed that all of this happened when I was getting uglier because of puberty so I think that there is some kind of friendpill: you only have friends when you’re good looking. But yeah now I’m in 10th grade, I can’t talk to anyone without stuttering and I’m alone every times, without friends, I see people I once talked to fulfilled with groups of friends but I’m just here, apart from everyone, I just hide in a toilet most of the time at the playground and go on my phone. I lost everything I had because of black pill and I hate it, this made me an asociable without no matters in life. I became 16 exactly 1 month ago and I’ve been working since 3 weeks at McDonald’s to fund surgeries, this takes all my time because I try working the most to get more money. I hope I will get a bright future after all of this. I’m ruining the last years of my teenage and I never got teenage love, I will pass on that and I hope not to be asked about my teenage when I’m older because I ruined it. I may provoke a situation after hardmaxxing where I find myself with her and maybe I will get a chance to be with her one day. However, if I get botched I think I’ll rope because hardmaxxing is my last hope in this miserable life. God gave me a sample of what my life could be looking like, before puberty: when I was decent looking.
). - This was my first introduction to looksmaxxing and all this shit.After that, months passed and I continued reading reddits posts because I really wanted her to look at me and I knew I was ugly, and I eventually found org in late 2022 or start of 2023 I don’t remember quite yet but I remember being on it in winter 2022. From that, I got introduced to the bp in summer 2023 and I didn’t even cared, I thought it was fake. I continued my journey in looksmaxxing, reading guides and doing softmaxxes
to improve for her. In late 2023, I got into this perfect class in 8th grade and this school year was the best year of my life. I started making new friends because I kinda got a better personnality thanks to looksmaxxing and I was so happy, communicating with everyone, I didn’t even cared that much about my appearance (even tho I still tried to hide when people took photos). In the middle of the year, a girl joined our middle school and our class. She had contacts with popular girls in hour middle school so she didn’t have a lot of trouble to make friends and get popular too. We quickly got friends because we were next to each others in french class. We had a really strong bond (we didn’t love each others.. we were friends). One day, I told her I didn’t have a lot of friends and she said that yk we were friends and I remember this sentence to this day because I was desperate, alone in 7th grade and now, I was finally getting affection and I improving my status. Thanks to her, I got the opportunity to join a group, I integrated myself pretty easily at the time it was like the group with popular kids and I was hanging out every days, I wasn’t alone anymore on the way to go back to home. Anyway I was fulfilled! Summer came, I still talked to everyone I met in 8th grade, and I met another girl during these summer holidays, we were talking every days, we becamed best friends and I went to NYC, this was really my year (from september 2023 to september 2024). I didn’t even cared that much about looksmaxxing, I was still doing some research once a time and doing some things but not like I was doing in winter 2022. Eventually, I got bored by the girl I met in this summer and blocked her because idk. Now idk if I regret because it was kinda great talking to her but anyway I think this mf cursed me because from that day in august, I once again saw a bp post on org, and didn’t avoid it (because I was thinking those threads were insignificant) this time I read it more carefully than last time and I kind of though it was funny at first but I remembered being alone in 2022 and realized it was true. It has been eating away at me to this day : I started realizing I was even more ugly than what I thought and that it was over, I wouldn’t get her. At the same time, I started seeing her repost things about how she loved her boyfriend. This was the start of my nightmare. It faded away all my social skills I had developed in 8th grade, I was walking like a bot: not moving my arms when I was walking, constantly thinking people were looking at me. I really becamed asociable. This was mainly during 9th grade. My class was fine too but puberty also started growing my face, especially my midface and all this stress made me recessed, I couldn’t sleep at night, I was thinking about her everyday and thinking I could never even have her gaze.. This unsociability was also developed because this group I talked about earlier, which I was seeing every days, started harassing me because I was getting stranged, I was getting mocked at, hit, being spat on. I didn’t even wanted to go to school anymore. There was also a guy in this group that was in my class and at the start of the year, we became friends but he noticed my behavior so he kind of made the harassment even worse, turning everyone against me, he laughed at me, making me the strange kid so he could get popularity by belittling me. Eventually, everyone started to be against me and told me I was absent-minded but I was really just tired because I wasn’t sleeping enough and my pains were getting were intensifying. One day, that girl to which I talked to since 8th grade removed me from her private account and made her birthday without me even tho 1 month earlier she said she would invite me. From that moment, I became even more insecure, not talking to anyone and I was not eating at lunch, locking in the toilets and waiting the 1h and a half not to be seen alone because I lost all my friends which I once had. I lost everyone and last time I saw her was when I was invited by this group to go to the town hall park because they were doing something with fireworks in summer 2024 before getting to 9th grades. She moved to high school (10th grade in my school system) and then this year, I scrapped students from the school’s api and she wasn’t on the list so I thought she changed school and this was confirmed when I saw one of her reposts. I never dared to dm her because of how ugly I am. This summer (2025), I was alone, cooped up in my room, doing nothing but reading org threads, scrolling on tiktok and watching youtube videos. I also noticed that all of this happened when I was getting uglier because of puberty so I think that there is some kind of friendpill: you only have friends when you’re good looking. But yeah now I’m in 10th grade, I can’t talk to anyone without stuttering and I’m alone every times, without friends, I see people I once talked to fulfilled with groups of friends but I’m just here, apart from everyone, I just hide in a toilet most of the time at the playground and go on my phone. I lost everything I had because of black pill and I hate it, this made me an asociable without no matters in life. I became 16 exactly 1 month ago and I’ve been working since 3 weeks at McDonald’s to fund surgeries, this takes all my time because I try working the most to get more money. I hope I will get a bright future after all of this. I’m ruining the last years of my teenage and I never got teenage love, I will pass on that and I hope not to be asked about my teenage when I’m older because I ruined it. I may provoke a situation after hardmaxxing where I find myself with her and maybe I will get a chance to be with her one day. However, if I get botched I think I’ll rope because hardmaxxing is my last hope in this miserable life. God gave me a sample of what my life could be looking like, before puberty: when I was decent looking.At 12, in the middle of 7th grade, I saw a girl in the playground and she was 1 year older than me and was beautiful, stunning, lovely, dazzling. I immediately started liking her and I still like her to this day (i’m 16), however I was a geek, without a lot of friends (I was alone at every playgrounds), bad looking and ugly so I searched on internet « how to become prettier », some results came and I found a guy talking about how he became more attractive on reddit. So I searched on reddit the same thing: « how to become attractive ». I navigated all night on reddit and found a guy talking about his journey with « looksmaxxing ». I thought this term was strange and I looked for this word and found another post on this subject (which i refound 4y later ). - This was my first introduction to looksmaxxing and all this shit.
After that, months passed and I continued reading reddits posts because I really wanted her to look at me and I knew I was ugly, and I eventually found org in late 2022 or start of 2023 I don’t remember quite yet but I remember being on it in winter 2022. From that, I got introduced to the bp in summer 2023 and I didn’t even cared, I thought it was fake. I continued my journey in looksmaxxing, reading guides and doing softmaxxes to improve for her. In late 2023, I got into this perfect class in 8th grade and this school year was the best year of my life. I started making new friends because I kinda got a better personnality thanks to looksmaxxing and I was so happy, communicating with everyone, I didn’t even cared that much about my appearance (even tho I still tried to hide when people took photos). In the middle of the year, a girl joined our middle school and our class. She had contacts with popular girls in hour middle school so she didn’t have a lot of trouble to make friends and get popular too. We quickly got friends because we were next to each others in french class. We had a really strong bond (we didn’t love each others.. we were friends). One day, I told her I didn’t have a lot of friends and she said that yk we were friends and I remember this sentence to this day because I was desperate, alone in 7th grade and now, I was finally getting affection and I improving my status. Thanks to her, I got the opportunity to join a group, I integrated myself pretty easily at the time it was like the group with popular kids and I was hanging out every days, I wasn’t alone anymore on the way to go back to home. Anyway I was fulfilled! Summer came, I still talked to everyone I met in 8th grade, and I met another girl during these summer holidays, we were talking every days, we becamed best friends and I went to NYC, this was really my year (from september 2023 to september 2024). I didn’t even cared that much about looksmaxxing, I was still doing some research once a time and doing some things but not like I was doing in winter 2022. Eventually, I got bored by the girl I met in this summer and blocked her because idk. Now idk if I regret because it was kinda great talking to her but anyway I think this mf cursed me because from that day in august, I once again saw a bp post on org, and didn’t avoid it (because I was thinking those threads were insignificant) this time I read it more carefully than last time and I kind of though it was funny at first but I remembered being alone in 2022 and realized it was true. It has been eating away at me to this day : I started realizing I was even more ugly than what I thought and that it was over, I wouldn’t get her. At the same time, I started seeing her repost things about how she loved her boyfriend. This was the start of my nightmare. It faded away all my social skills I had developed in 8th grade, I was walking like a bot: not moving my arms when I was walking, constantly thinking people were looking at me. I really becamed asociable. This was mainly during 9th grade. My class was fine too but puberty also started growing my face, especially my midface and all this stress made me recessed, I couldn’t sleep at night, I was thinking about her everyday and thinking I could never even have her gaze.. This unsociability was also developed because this group I talked about earlier, which I was seeing every days, started harassing me because I was getting stranged, I was getting mocked at, hit, being spat on. There was a guy in this group that was in my class and at the start of the year, we became friends but he noticed my behavior so he kind of made it even worse, turning everyone against me, he laughed at me, making me the strange kid so he could get popularity by belittling me. Eventually, everyone started to be against me and told me I was absent-minded but I was really just tired because I wasn’t sleeping enough and my pains were getting were intensifying. One day, that girl to which I talked to since 8th grade removed me from her private account and made her birthday without me even tho 1 month earlier she said she would invite me. From that moment, I became even more insecure, not talking to anyone and I was not eating at lunch, locking in the toilets and waiting the 1h and a half not to be seen alone because I lost all my friends which I once had. I lost everyone and last time I saw her was when I was invited by this group to go to the town hall park because they were doing something with fireworks in summer 2024 before getting to 9th grades. She moved to high school (10th grade in my school system) and then this year, I scrapped students from the school’s api and she wasn’t on the list so I thought she changed school and this was confirmed when I saw one of her reposts. I never dared to dm her because of how ugly I am. This summer (2025), I was alone, cooped up in my room, doing nothing but reading org threads, scrolling on tiktok and watching youtube videos. I also noticed that all of this happened when I was getting uglier because of puberty so I think that there is some kind of friendpill: you only have friends when you’re good looking. But yeah now I’m in 10th grade, I can’t talk to anyone without stuttering and I’m alone every times, without friends, I see people I once talked to fulfilled with groups of friends but I’m just here, apart from everyone, I just hide in a toilet most of the time at the playground and go on my phone. I lost everything I had because of black pill and I hate it, this made me an asociable without no matters in life. I became 16 exactly 1 month ago and I’ve been working since 3 weeks at McDonald’s to fund surgeries, this takes all my time because I try working the most to get more money. I hope I will get a bright future after all of this. I’m ruining the last years of my teenage and I never got teenage love, I will pass on that and I hope not to be asked about my teenage when I’m older because I ruined it. I may provoke a situation after hardmaxxing where I find myself with her and maybe I will get a chance to be with her one day. However, if I get botched I think I’ll rope because hardmaxxing is my last hope in this miserable life. God gave me a sample of what my life could be looking like, before puberty: when I was decent looking.
). - This was my first introduction to looksmaxxing and all this shit.After that, months passed and I continued reading reddits posts because I really wanted her to look at me and I knew I was ugly, and I eventually found org in late 2022 or start of 2023 I don’t remember quite yet but I remember being on it in winter 2022. From that, I got introduced to the bp in summer 2023 and I didn’t even cared, I thought it was fake. I continued my journey in looksmaxxing, reading guides and doing softmaxxes
to improve for her. In late 2023, I got into this perfect class in 8th grade and this school year was the best year of my life. I started making new friends because I kinda got a better personnality thanks to looksmaxxing and I was so happy, communicating with everyone, I didn’t even cared that much about my appearance (even tho I still tried to hide when people took photos). In the middle of the year, a girl joined our middle school and our class. She had contacts with popular girls in hour middle school so she didn’t have a lot of trouble to make friends and get popular too. We quickly got friends because we were next to each others in french class. We had a really strong bond (we didn’t love each others.. we were friends). One day, I told her I didn’t have a lot of friends and she said that yk we were friends and I remember this sentence to this day because I was desperate, alone in 7th grade and now, I was finally getting affection and I improving my status. Thanks to her, I got the opportunity to join a group, I integrated myself pretty easily at the time it was like the group with popular kids and I was hanging out every days, I wasn’t alone anymore on the way to go back to home. Anyway I was fulfilled! Summer came, I still talked to everyone I met in 8th grade, and I met another girl during these summer holidays, we were talking every days, we becamed best friends and I went to NYC, this was really my year (from september 2023 to september 2024). I didn’t even cared that much about looksmaxxing, I was still doing some research once a time and doing some things but not like I was doing in winter 2022. Eventually, I got bored by the girl I met in this summer and blocked her because idk. Now idk if I regret because it was kinda great talking to her but anyway I think this mf cursed me because from that day in august, I once again saw a bp post on org, and didn’t avoid it (because I was thinking those threads were insignificant) this time I read it more carefully than last time and I kind of though it was funny at first but I remembered being alone in 2022 and realized it was true. It has been eating away at me to this day : I started realizing I was even more ugly than what I thought and that it was over, I wouldn’t get her. At the same time, I started seeing her repost things about how she loved her boyfriend. This was the start of my nightmare. It faded away all my social skills I had developed in 8th grade, I was walking like a bot: not moving my arms when I was walking, constantly thinking people were looking at me. I really becamed asociable. This was mainly during 9th grade. My class was fine too but puberty also started growing my face, especially my midface and all this stress made me recessed, I couldn’t sleep at night, I was thinking about her everyday and thinking I could never even have her gaze.. This unsociability was also developed because this group I talked about earlier, which I was seeing every days, started harassing me because I was getting stranged, I was getting mocked at, hit, being spat on. There was a guy in this group that was in my class and at the start of the year, we became friends but he noticed my behavior so he kind of made it even worse, turning everyone against me, he laughed at me, making me the strange kid so he could get popularity by belittling me. Eventually, everyone started to be against me and told me I was absent-minded but I was really just tired because I wasn’t sleeping enough and my pains were getting were intensifying. One day, that girl to which I talked to since 8th grade removed me from her private account and made her birthday without me even tho 1 month earlier she said she would invite me. From that moment, I became even more insecure, not talking to anyone and I was not eating at lunch, locking in the toilets and waiting the 1h and a half not to be seen alone because I lost all my friends which I once had. I lost everyone and last time I saw her was when I was invited by this group to go to the town hall park because they were doing something with fireworks in summer 2024 before getting to 9th grades. She moved to high school (10th grade in my school system) and then this year, I scrapped students from the school’s api and she wasn’t on the list so I thought she changed school and this was confirmed when I saw one of her reposts. I never dared to dm her because of how ugly I am. This summer (2025), I was alone, cooped up in my room, doing nothing but reading org threads, scrolling on tiktok and watching youtube videos. I also noticed that all of this happened when I was getting uglier because of puberty so I think that there is some kind of friendpill: you only have friends when you’re good looking. But yeah now I’m in 10th grade, I can’t talk to anyone without stuttering and I’m alone every times, without friends, I see people I once talked to fulfilled with groups of friends but I’m just here, apart from everyone, I just hide in a toilet most of the time at the playground and go on my phone. I lost everything I had because of black pill and I hate it, this made me an asociable without no matters in life. I became 16 exactly 1 month ago and I’ve been working since 3 weeks at McDonald’s to fund surgeries, this takes all my time because I try working the most to get more money. I hope I will get a bright future after all of this. I’m ruining the last years of my teenage and I never got teenage love, I will pass on that and I hope not to be asked about my teenage when I’m older because I ruined it. I may provoke a situation after hardmaxxing where I find myself with her and maybe I will get a chance to be with her one day. However, if I get botched I think I’ll rope because hardmaxxing is my last hope in this miserable life. God gave me a sample of what my life could be looking like, before puberty: when I was decent looking.
