Bro I Fixed My Face Without Trying and Y’all Are Overthinking It

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maxismisha

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Ok so I figured out looksmaxing, and y’all are doing it wrong.





First of all, I stopped brushing my teeth so my breath keeps people at a distance — that way they can’t reject me. Confidence = solved. ✅





Second, I don’t mew. I chew. Only on the left side of my mouth tho. Balance is for betas. Now I have a dominant chewing side — women love asymmetry, it shows ‘mystery.’





Third, I sleep face down on concrete. It’s like natural skull molding. Why would I pay for surgery when the pavement is free?





Also, I stopped washing my face. That’s just corporate skincare propaganda. My acne forms unique patterns now — one girl said my forehead breakout looked like Orion’s Belt. That’s astrologymaxxing.





And I’m not wasting money on jaw filler. I just draw a sharpie line along my jaw and let shadows do the work. It’s 3D contouring for men. Cost me $1.29.





Hunter eyes? Nah bro, I just smoke a pack of cigarettes before dates. Bloodshot gaze = intensity. That’s how you trigger primal attraction.





Also, for eye area improvement, I slap myself in the face every morning until there’s swelling. Makes my eyes look deeper. Instant orbital hollowing. #naturalmethod





I even made my own cologne out of expired protein powder and Monster Energy. Women haven’t complimented me yet but they definitely notice.





Last tip: posture is a scam. If I slouch low enough, people have to look down to talk to me. That gives the illusion of a stronger jawline. It’s called anglemaxxing. Learn it.





Anyway, y’all keep spending money on chin implants and measuring your facial thirds. I’ll be over here drinking gas station pre-workout and evolving.
 
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