D
Deleted member 74902
Questioning 5'8 human
- Joined
- May 27, 2024
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I went to my coaching classes today after a long time. I usually don't go there because I have intense social anxiety and seeing people my age being good-looking and having fun in general just depresses me. Yet today I decided that I won't pay heed to any of the bullshit; study and come back. I woke up and shampooed too today so my hair could look good. Then the whole of the auto-trip to coaching fucked my hair and made them greasy (the wind was blowing through the auto doors like some windjet).
The teacher finished early and was just passing the time. He proceeded to ask if someone plays any sport here; this reminded of the time I played football at district level before corona came in (couldn't continue due to my studies and family issues). I wasn't expecting anyone to say something but a girl said she's a national-level football player. This just sent me into this weird spiral. She was good looking, taller than me, had good oratory skills and was somewhat I once desired. Brootal af. Then another girl said she's a national level gold medalist shooter, the teacher was so delighted and proceeded to talk about guns and James bond with her. Ngl I wish the teacher gave me that much attention (not a fag, but he's this old military guy and I would love to hear his experiences). These two girls were there talking with him fluently meanwhile I can't even converse with someone of my age. I stutter while speaking.
Then afterwards I decided that I'll book an auto outside but so many girls were there. They were taller than me (I'm 5'7). They were all so beautiful. I looked at a near standing car. I saw the reflection of my face. I looked like an utmost pajeet. I'm already so much neurotic and this reflection almost made me cry. There were these girls laughing and enjoying:- and there was me, standing like a fucking loser. I couldn't bear standing near them and walked 1-2 Km away and then booked my auto.
When I came home my mom asked me:- "mere babu ka din kaisa gaya". I had to look at her and said smilingly "acha gaya mummy ji"
Since then I'm lying in my bed covered in blanket reading Dostoevsky. I'm just so sad. It's so pathetic. There was a time when I was this happy kid:- don't know what went wrong.
The teacher finished early and was just passing the time. He proceeded to ask if someone plays any sport here; this reminded of the time I played football at district level before corona came in (couldn't continue due to my studies and family issues). I wasn't expecting anyone to say something but a girl said she's a national-level football player. This just sent me into this weird spiral. She was good looking, taller than me, had good oratory skills and was somewhat I once desired. Brootal af. Then another girl said she's a national level gold medalist shooter, the teacher was so delighted and proceeded to talk about guns and James bond with her. Ngl I wish the teacher gave me that much attention (not a fag, but he's this old military guy and I would love to hear his experiences). These two girls were there talking with him fluently meanwhile I can't even converse with someone of my age. I stutter while speaking.
Then afterwards I decided that I'll book an auto outside but so many girls were there. They were taller than me (I'm 5'7). They were all so beautiful. I looked at a near standing car. I saw the reflection of my face. I looked like an utmost pajeet. I'm already so much neurotic and this reflection almost made me cry. There were these girls laughing and enjoying:- and there was me, standing like a fucking loser. I couldn't bear standing near them and walked 1-2 Km away and then booked my auto.
When I came home my mom asked me:- "mere babu ka din kaisa gaya". I had to look at her and said smilingly "acha gaya mummy ji"
Since then I'm lying in my bed covered in blanket reading Dostoevsky. I'm just so sad. It's so pathetic. There was a time when I was this happy kid:- don't know what went wrong.
