Cannot reconcile my forum persona and my real persona.

[Deleted member 3177]

I am growing exponentially uneasy about the true nature of this forum. Due to having no filter and being sustained by the idea of anonymity (though not fully since we are under surveillance), I say as I please when I use this forum. At times, all of my true thoughts spill out, oftentimes racist, misogynist conventions that are strongly disparate with the persona I show to my parents and my friends. The transition from this forum, where I am cruel, and the personality others attribute to me, which doesn't resemble the one I show here, is messing up my brain. Am I an evil person? Given that most of my musings are purely satirical in nature, should I question myself whether it's correct or not to lie to others and pretend to be a good person when in reality I am a psychopath?

 

[Sikkunt23]

No words read

 

[Deleted member 6538]

 

[AlwaysHaveQuestions]

schizophrenia

 

[Deleted member 3177]

No words read

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Don't lie to yourselves. I have spent a third of the time you've been using this forum, and you joined later than me. You open every thread, read every word, and let me live rent free in your head. Faggots

 

[Deleted member 6128]

JFL op ur overthinking it there’s nothing wrong with you

 

[buckchadley31]

schizocel

 

[middayshowers]

…there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personality is sketchy and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent. My conscience, my pity, my hopes disappeared a long time ago (probably at Harvard) if they ever did exist. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it, I have now surpassed. I still, though, hold on to one single bleak truth: no one is safe, nothing is redeemed. Yet I am blameless. Each model of human behavior must be assumed to have some validity. Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do? My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this—and I have countless times, in just about every act I’ve committed—and coming face-to-face with these truths, there is no catharsis. I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this. This confession has meant nothing….

 

[Vermilioncore]

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[Deleted member 3177]

Bumo