Cant stop thinking about what I could’ve done differently

Prøphet

Prøphet

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light”
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If I wasn’t such a naive kid, I would’ve demanded my parents get me strabismus surgery by like 13 years old. Instead I coped with the bluepill until 18. So many years reduced to basically dust, so many years being treated less than human, so many years destroying my mental, so many friendless miserable depressed years, and now it might be too late for me to ever recover. But the most brutal thing I’m obsessing over is just all the time I wasted. My life didn’t have to go this way, and that’s what kills me. I almost would prefer if there wasn’t any chance, because then I could be at peace.
 
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I’m fucking going insane torturing myself with everything I should’ve done in the past tldr
 
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I hate regret so much it’s eating me alive
 
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the past cant be changed so why dwell on it ?
 
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the past cant be changed so why dwell on it ?
I don’t know, I guess because I see myself keep making the same mistakes, and I believe I have no other choice, but I could be wrong, and that terrifies me
 
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I don’t know, I guess because I see myself keep making the same mistakes, and I believe I have no other choice, but I could be wrong, and that terrifies me
learn from your past mistakes and start anew
 
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I think anything I do will be a mistake so I just continue to do nothing
you learn more from failure then from not doing anything
 
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If I wasn’t such a naive kid, I would’ve demanded my parents get me strabismus surgery by like 13 years old. Instead I coped with the bluepill until 18. So many years reduced to basically dust, so many years being treated less than human, so many years destroying my mental, so many friendless miserable depressed years, and now it might be too late for me to ever recover. But the most brutal thing I’m obsessing over is just all the time I wasted. My life didn’t have to go this way, and that’s what kills me. I almost would prefer if there wasn’t any chance, because then I could be at peace.
And we all could be trillionaires if we invested in bitcoin early. Obsessing over your mistakes is a humiliation fetish
 
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And we all could be trillionaires if we invested in bitcoin early. Obsessing over your mistakes is a humiliation fetish
Do you know how to break out of the trap
 
Do you know how to break out of the trap
It’s literally to say it is what it is and take the hit and get up. It doesn’t always feel like it but things heal with time if you move towards improvement
 
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If I wasn’t such a naive kid, I would’ve demanded my parents get me strabismus surgery by like 13 years old. Instead I coped with the bluepill until 18. So many years reduced to basically dust, so many years being treated less than human, so many years destroying my mental, so many friendless miserable depressed years, and now it might be too late for me to ever recover. But the most brutal thing I’m obsessing over is just all the time I wasted. My life didn’t have to go this way, and that’s what kills me. I almost would prefer if there wasn’t any chance, because then I could be at peace.
To be honest I don‘t know if it ever fully stops but only thing that might help is to live the „let it happen“ mindset. You can‘t change anything that happens but you can accept it or try to fix it without regret. Hope it helps
 
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