cockroach gave me the biggest cortisol spike of my life

[dhusc]

I was shitting peacefully when I saw a cockroach on my wall

and holy fucking shit did I start shivering, I have a deathly fear of cockroaches to the point I can only kill them with the raid spray and sadly I don’t carry that around and so I waited stupid motherfucker crawled around like a bastard knowing I was scared of it fucker moved close to me than away than close n everything fucking stupid creepy ugly bastard

then I used my bidet to clean my ass n as I did it

IT GOT FUCKING CLOSER, I start shaking like I’m going thru a seizure and GUESS WHAT

THIS NIGGA CLIMBS ON THE HOSE WHAT THE FUCK

I sprinted outta there checked my cheeks ( clean btw ) and sprayed that fucker till he was dead

I lost 12lbs and a gallon of sweat and have gained gray hair and hair loss

may I hope I gather a laser that murders every cockroach stupid useless bastards

 

[dhusc]

bump

 

[dhusc]

actually I’m not sure if I wanna bump a thread about me being a pussy