"Come this way please, grab a sheet and wait inside."

badromance

badromance

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The voice guides you towards an empty waiting room. You take a seat and start looking over the sheet you were handed on the way in.
Next-Life Selection Sheet
The sheet contains a series of boxes and the statement "Please select one option per row"
Gender
"Huh, maybe i'll go male this time. Although i enjoyed life as a woman, i wouldn't mind more power!"
Height
"I definitely want to be tall, but not too tall", you tick the box for 6'3.
Race
"I've already tried Asian, i guess i'll put white, they have it pretty good."
Hair and eye color
"Definitely blonde with blue eyes, i've always wanted that. Oh, there's a box for "full head of hair", thank god i noticed"
Penis size
"Oh yeah, that's super important, gonna put extra large"
Overall Beauty
"I don't want to be too beautiful, they might think im asking for too much. I'll tick 8"
Intelligence
"Can't forget this. I think "fairly smart" is good enough"
You then proceed to the window and hand in your sheet.
A voice echoes from no where in particular:
"Spirit G1V3R0P3 to counter 3 please"
You make your way to counter 3 and are greeted by an exhausted looking celestial employee with a displeased look on their face.
"Yeah, this isn't gonna work", they said.
"Oh, did i ask for too much? I don't mind downgrading a bit" you smile nervously.
"Well, we're out of stock on some of these options"
A shiver shoots down your spine. This is familiar from many lifetimes ago. Before you can say anything, the celestial employee continues:
"You ticked 6'3 for height, unfortunately best we can do is 5'8 but that comes with a reduced lifespan. We can probably get you 5'5 and a warranty in case you get beaten by bigger guys.
As for your race, White's gonna be hard. Asians and Indians are breeding like rats down there, you can pick one of those.
Also, blue eyes and blond hair is a premium and we're sorry but you don't have enough points. Best we can do is mud colored. We also have to reach a balding quota, so that's out the window too"
When the employee reaches penis size, they let out an uncontrollable giggle.
"You don't need extra large, didn't you know size doesn't matter?
On the goodside we can definitely leave intelligence as smart."
The feeling of familiarity has become dread. You know how this ends. Your only hope is in the option they forgot to mention.
"How about beauty!? I get to be an 8 ri-"
Before you are able to finish your sentence the employee burts into laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA....no"
You panic.
"Wait, no, please anything but this! I don't want to be an incel! PLEASE, i'd rather not live, just LEAVE ME IN THIS FUCKING WAITING ROOM!"
The celestial employee ignores your plees and walks towards a button.
"Sorry bud, good luck in the next lifetime; at least you're male!"
"If you have any complaints please forward them to this address:
God
Almighty Hall

0000 Heaven Ave.
And have a nice life."
Jfl found this on reddit,the guy's iq mogs my whole subhuman country including me
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 14262, Deleted member 6401 and Nibba
The voice guides you towards an empty waiting room. You take a seat and start looking over the sheet you were handed on the way in.
Next-Life Selection Sheet
The sheet contains a series of boxes and the statement "Please select one option per row"
Gender
"Huh, maybe i'll go male this time. Although i enjoyed life as a woman, i wouldn't mind more power!"
Height
"I definitely want to be tall, but not too tall", you tick the box for 6'3.
Race
"I've already tried Asian, i guess i'll put white, they have it pretty good."
Hair and eye color
"Definitely blonde with blue eyes, i've always wanted that. Oh, there's a box for "full head of hair", thank god i noticed"
Penis size
"Oh yeah, that's super important, gonna put extra large"
Overall Beauty
"I don't want to be too beautiful, they might think im asking for too much. I'll tick 8"
Intelligence
"Can't forget this. I think "fairly smart" is good enough"
You then proceed to the window and hand in your sheet.
A voice echoes from no where in particular:
"Spirit G1V3R0P3 to counter 3 please"
You make your way to counter 3 and are greeted by an exhausted looking celestial employee with a displeased look on their face.
"Yeah, this isn't gonna work", they said.
"Oh, did i ask for too much? I don't mind downgrading a bit" you smile nervously.
"Well, we're out of stock on some of these options"
A shiver shoots down your spine. This is familiar from many lifetimes ago. Before you can say anything, the celestial employee continues:
"You ticked 6'3 for height, unfortunately best we can do is 5'8 but that comes with a reduced lifespan. We can probably get you 5'5 and a warranty in case you get beaten by bigger guys.
As for your race, White's gonna be hard. Asians and Indians are breeding like rats down there, you can pick one of those.
Also, blue eyes and blond hair is a premium and we're sorry but you don't have enough points. Best we can do is mud colored. We also have to reach a balding quota, so that's out the window too"
When the employee reaches penis size, they let out an uncontrollable giggle.
"You don't need extra large, didn't you know size doesn't matter?
On the goodside we can definitely leave intelligence as smart."
The feeling of familiarity has become dread. You know how this ends. Your only hope is in the option they forgot to mention.
"How about beauty!? I get to be an 8 ri-"
Before you are able to finish your sentence the employee burts into laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA....no"
You panic.
"Wait, no, please anything but this! I don't want to be an incel! PLEASE, i'd rather not live, just LEAVE ME IN THIS FUCKING WAITING ROOM!"
The celestial employee ignores your plees and walks towards a button.
"Sorry bud, good luck in the next lifetime; at least you're male!"
"If you have any complaints please forward them to this address:
God
Almighty Hall

0000 Heaven Ave.
And have a nice life."
Jfl found this on reddit,the guy's iq mogs my whole subhuman country including me
lol low iq braincel post but actually funny to read overall
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 14262 and Deleted member 6401
Posts like that are retarded. All he had say was "females would rather be a good looking man over an ugly man". Cause the females know they wouldnt date themselves if they were an ugly man.
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 14262 and Deleted member 6401
Long read but enjoyed it. Not worth it.
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 6401
i must have had a shit load of points saved up ngl
 
  • +1
Reactions: Deleted member 6401
The white man is superior.
 

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