COOMERS GTFIH. ORGASM MAXXING GUIDE

[Deleted member 11292]

>One can only have so many orgasms in their lifetime, orgasms are good, they make us happy.



BUT MASTURBATING TOO MUCH DEPRIVES YOU OF TESTOSTERONE AND TURNS YOU INTO A BASEMENT DWELLING COOMER


This is why some people insist nofap is the way to go.




But I have discovered the secret!!!




INTERMITTENT MIND BENDING ORGASMS!








BEHOLD, A ROTATING BLOWJOB MACHINE OF MY OWN DESIGN!!!






You might protest, "but @GucciBananaBrick, How is this unique? Blowjob machines already exist, and what even separates this from what's already on the market?



2 THINGS:
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1.) COST

> BLOWJOB MACHINES ARE EXPENSIVE AND REQUIRE MORE MAINTENANCE THAN REGULAR FLESHLIGHTS, IN ADDITION, THE MANY MOVING PARTS ARE POTENTIAL FAILURE POINTS AND NO ONE WANTS TO RISK HAGGLING WITH AUTOBLOW.COM CUSTOMER SERVICE.

Most Men Agree: The Autoblow AI Is The Best Male Sex Toy

The Autoblow A.I. is the highest crowdfunded male sex toy in history. Read about us in the news, watch our cartoon video, then buy your Autoblow A.I. today!

autoblow.com

2.) SENSATION

>Trust me boyos I've tried both and fan easily fogs.



BONUS:

> YOU CAN APPLY MOST OF THE SAME STEPS WITH A DILDO IF YOU WANT TO MASSAGE YOUR PROSTATE!!!

You will need 3 things:



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1.) A fleshlight

2.) A medium-sized fan

3.) 1 roll of duct tape

INSTRUCTIONS:
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1.) Remove the frontal fan guard and blades




2.) Attach your fleshlight to the axle/plastic thingy at the end. (USE MORE TAPE THAN YOU THINK YOU'LL NEED).

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3.) Find a nice, comfy chair at the right height.

4.) Plug the fan in and adjust the speed to something both safe and to your liking.

CONGRATULATIONS. IF YOU DID ALL THE AFOREMENTIONED STEPS CORRECTLY, YOU WILL THEN POSSESS A POWERFUL DEVICE MUCH MORE SATISFYING THAN A NORMAL FLESHLIGHT!!!​

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DISCLAIMERS:​

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1.) MORAL:


>Owning a blowjob machine is tantamount to Tony Montana's giant pile of cocaine.

>On the surface, we all love cocaine, so this is the best thing of all time, right?! Unlimited cocaine in our home. sign us up!

>But, do we really want this?

>We'd never get anything done. We'd never leave the house. We'd become super irresponsible and almost lose any sense of purpose for living. Why do anything if you have a cocaine pile at your disposal? Why go out and meet new foids or try to slay? Why have new experiences, travel, eat cool, interesting foods, and have fascinating conversations?

>Why do all those things when you have a giant pile of cocaine at home in the safety of your house?

>Yup. Owning a blowjob machine is like owning a giant pile of cocaine.


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2.) Physical:
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>I ALMOST TWISTED MY DICK OFF BY NOT PULLING OUT WHILE I WAS STILL HARD, PULL OUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOU CUM/DONT INSERT TILL YOUR ERECT OR RISK LOSING YOUR DICK!!!


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@Swolepenisman @Kingkellz @Dice @itis123@justadude @ItisOver @xefo @spiderchad@JackSparrow @EdwardCullen@FastBananaCEO @karbo @Tony @celmane@Be_ConfidentBro @IncelWithNoLuck@Gargantuan @Lorsss @TraumatisedOgre @lutte@Slayer @FastBananaCEO @Boldandbeautiful@Dionysus @Idfkbruh @buckchadley31@magnificentcel @Baldingman1998@BIGDICCJIM @Proex @goron black @cathalo​

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[Enfant terrible]

i will not do this

 

[Deleted member 11758]

@disillusioned thoughts?

 

[Deleted member 2403]

why do people keep mass tagging me that i don't even know

 

[lutte]

Why tf am I tagged

 

[Deleted member 2205]

Why do I even browse this site anymore

 

[Deleted member 11292]

@lutte @TraumatisedOgre

you ungrateful fucks should be thanking me and telling your friends, is my thread that dogshit that you can't even appreciate how amazing my genius ideas are?

 

[Marsiere214]

Imagine ur parents entering ur room and u explaining all of this

 

[Deleted member 2403]

@lutte @TraumatisedOgre

you ungrateful fucks should be thanking me and telling your friends, is my thread that dogshit that you can't even appreciate how amazing my genius ideas are?

you really haven't learnt how this site works have you?

 

[Deleted member 11292]

you really haven't learnt how this site works have you?

cant tell if you're being serious rn, ill make it more obvious next time

 

[.👽.]

What no pussy, no social life, no friends and no hobbys does to a nigga

 

[owlofathena]

 

[Deleted member 8576]

Not a fuckin molecule don’t tag me again

 

[Marsiere214]

Not a fuckin molecule don’t tag me again

Please read : )

 

[Marsiere214]

cant tell if you're being serious rn, ill make it more obvious next time

The site is a massive joke
Shit threads recive more replies

 

[Deleted member 11292]

The site is a massive joke
Shit threads recive more replies

foid behavior tbh, says one thing, does another

 

[Marsiere214]

View attachment 1090488
foid behavior tbh, says one thing, does another

Typical greycel reply

 

[Acnno]

Good gooood, it’s time for your second dose now.

 

[Deleted member 13197]

i messed up my dick got chopped into 10 pieces and i'm being rushed into the ER to get intensive surgery to sew my testicles back together

 

[Deleted member 11292]

Typical greycel reply

best you got? Are you that rattled behind your veil of contempt

 

[Marsiere214]

best you got? Are you that rattled behind your veil of contempt

My brain is melting
If u follow this guide then theres something wrong with ur iq.
From all the greycel threads
This one is the dumbest one.
Kys

 

[Deleted member 7044]

oh god yes i will combine this with the godly prostate stimulation guide and ascend into another dimension with these orgasms

 

[RoundHouse]

best you got? Are you that rattled behind your veil of contempt

Nigger youre literally fucking a fan, dont even fucking try to argue with anyone, your testosterone levels are nonexistent

 

[Deleted member 11292]

Nigger youre literally fucking a fan, dont even fucking try to argue with anyone, your testosterone levels are nonexistent

did you even read the thread? the fan is supposed to fuck you...

 

[Deleted member 12827]

What the fuck is this dogshit thread at least provide a video demonstrating how to do it

 

[Deleted member 11292]

What the fuck is this dogshit thread at least provide a video demonstrating how to do it

best of the best and ill consider it

 

[disillusioned]

Just put your penis inside a fan theory.

Also, googling "best blowjob machine" is utterly useless because it's almost all just marketing and propaganda. The autoblow is actually pretty shit. The only truly legit blowjob machine is the Venus 2000, and while a great toy it's also very expensive.

 

[Deleted member 11292]

while a great toy it's also very expensive.

how can I tell that you dnr?

 

[lutte]

Just put your penis inside a fan theory.

Also, googling "best blowjob machine" is utterly useless because it's almost all just marketing and propaganda. The autoblow is actually pretty shit. The only truly legit blowjob machine is the Venus 2000, and while a great toy it's also very expensive.

you should do a warning thread about the dangers of sextoymaxxing

 

[disillusioned]

you should do a warning thread about the dangers of sextoymaxxing
View attachment 1090565

Tbh it looks like I overreacted. Even since just yesterday things have already gotten a bit better. Not back to normal yet, but I no longer feel mostly numb. Only partially. I think I'm slowly returning back to normal.

Also, it's not really possible to harm yourself unless you are using pumps (which aren't even technically toys anyway), cockrings without doing your research, or certain very powerful suction toys. Very excessive vibrator use might cause problems, though.

 

[Deleted member 11292]

Tbh it looks like I overrated. Even since just yesterday things have already gotten a big better. Not back to normal yet, but I no longer feel mostly numb. Only partially. I think I'm slowly returning back to normal.

Also, it's not really possible to harm yourself unless you are using pumps (which aren't even technically toys anyway), cockrings without doing your research, or certain very powerful suction toys. Very excessive vibrator use might cause problems, though.

so what's the verdict then? will this fry my dick?

 

[disillusioned]

so what's the verdict then? will this fry my dick?

What will fry your dick? The Tremblr? I probably used it wrong (set the slide crank to too high a setting), but tbh I think it's a poorly designed machine overall. I'm gonna sell it. The Venus on the other hand, is very great. The Tremblr was basically intended to compete against the venus by offering lower price and similar functionality, but the execution is much more poor. I also don't think it will last anywhere near as long because of less sound mechanical principles. I've already gotten a venus and intend to sell the tremblr.

Also, lots if not most sex toys can fuck you over if you don't know what you are doing. Even just using a fleshlight incorrectly (not enough lube, improperly cleaned etc) can screw you over and harm you. Use your common sense.

Tbh I will probably make a detailed review comparison thread for both the Tremblr and the Venus soon.

 

[Deleted member 11292]

bump

 

[Deleted member 11292]

b

 

[Arcturus]

How to get your dick torn off 101

 

[Deleted member 11292]

How to get your dick torn off 101

>I ALMOST TWISTED MY DICK OFF BY NOT PULLING OUT WHILE I WAS STILL HARD, PULL OUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOU CUM/DONT INSERT TILL YOUR ERECT OR RISK LOSING YOUR DICK!!!

 

[oldcelloser]

i will not try the fan or tape to ruin my dick but ordered the auto masturbator already since im a gigantic coomer thx OP

 

[Debetro]

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