Could Hypergamy Be Cope? (SERIOUS)

[breadnbakershaker]

I’m starting to wonder if a lot of hypergamy discourse is just a way for guys to turn rejection into a system they can understand

I got cheated on about a month ago by my ex (thread w pictures and the breakup call page 2-3) she chose someone that has little to no status, spends all his earnings on upgrading his e-bike and is overweight and most likely considered obese, I still haven't figured out what this guy has that I didn't. Then I spent every lick of time trying to work on my looks, trying to become more social, more active in my social circle, going to the gym, spending thousands on clothes but that feeling still daunts me.

You can win every comparison in your own head and still get rejected. You can be better looking, richer, more social, whatever, and someone can still prefer another person.

Additionally I was out on a 2-man with my friend and his girlfriend was not his looksmatch whatsoever, my friend dresses like a bum and I personally don't think he deserves the girl he has, It just doesn't look right in a picture
You can “win” every comparison in your head and still get left because foids will foid, then you'll cry for weeks trying to figure out what you did
Having a girlfriend in general is pointless at such a young age, 17-15. Sure you get the oxytocin, sure you feel loved for a few months but men aren't capable of putting themselves first before the girl therefore slowly descending in all aspects of life just like I did, not to mention remembering you weren't her first and by definition you're considered a cuck, I think women are only good so long as you're unable to get attached, the girl I spoke to I treated like shit at the start, she wanted me so much and I gave in at some point.

I have been around women and I think the perception we get through tiktok and all of these forums with people talking about what "will" happen if they do this or do that is widely put out of proportion.

So where’s the line? Is hypergamy a useful description of some dating patterns, or does it become cope when we use it to explain every rejection?

 

[breadnbakershaker]

bump

 

[maxilexo]

i didnt read, hypergami is basically SMV + status based

 

[incomplete]

just fuck off you faggot

 

[wii]

i didnt read, hypergami is basically SMV + status based

hypergamy is when smv and status

 

[Idontknow-]

Ofc a 2026 faggot tryin to be smart

 

[breadnbakershaker]

Ofc a 2026 faggot tryin to be smart

have an actual read retard

 

[dnr.niglet]

Hypergamy is not a cope because it’s not a looksmaxxing method or something you do it’s a social problem

 

[xyn]

hypergamy is mad cope, many women (way too many to be considered outliers) will get with extremely low value men because of their own insecurities, only proof the existence of hypergamy has is that of delusional women expecting a chad because the people around them have convinced them into thinking they’re the prize, these women later realize how lonely and stupid they are and develop insecurities, or they delude their thinking even further and deny all their flaws and insecurities, still expecting a chad but then eventually falling into loneliness and the same trap. all women will expect a better man than themselves who is taller, better looking, etc. or atleast think is, to a certain extent no matter what but not to the extents these “hypergamy philosophers” claim. also women are horny too they wna get fucked at some point even if its by a subhuman

 

[xyn]

hypergamy is mad cope, many women (way too many to be considered outliers) will get with extremely low value men because of their own insecurities, only proof the existence of hypergamy has is that of delusional women expecting a chad because the people around them have convinced them into thinking they’re the prize, these women later realize how lonely and stupid they are and develop insecurities, or they delude their thinking even further and deny all their flaws and insecurities, still expecting a chad but then eventually falling into loneliness and the same trap. all women will expect a better man than themselves who is taller, better looking, etc. or atleast think is, to a certain extent no matter what but not to the extents these “hypergamy philosophers” claim. also women are horny too they wna get fucked at some point even if its by a subhuman

further on, if we look at what the guys actually talking about, some women js feel too insecure to be with someone better or they get tired of waiting for you to do more or they just want to make themselves feel better by hurting you because their own life is so shitty and miserable and also because they are fucking ugly asf. women are just an accessory you get with success.

 

[breadnbakershaker]

further on, if we look at what the guys actually talking about, some women js feel too insecure to be with someone better or they get tired of waiting for you to do more or they just want to make themselves feel better by hurting you because their own life is so shitty and miserable and also because they are fucking ugly asf. women are just an accessory you get with success.

this actually makes sense in my case then, maybe it was never about who's better at what huh

 

[breadnbakershaker]

this is kinda what im questioning though
if every outcome has an explanation that keeps the theory intact, how would you ever prove it wrong?
higher value guy = hypergamy
lower value guy = insecurity
similar guy = settling


at some point arent we just explaining attraction after it happens

 

[decret]

Just leave ur house and see lmao

 

[breadnbakershaker]

Just leave ur house and see lmao

I did

 

[xyn]

this is kinda what im questioning though
if every outcome has an explanation that keeps the theory intact, how would you ever prove it wrong?
higher value guy = hypergamy
lower value guy = insecurity
similar guy = settling


at some point arent we just explaining attraction after it happens

attraction is lowk fucked just improve and work on urself and you’ll get good results. i dont believe in “hypergamy” because everyone wants a good looking dude/ high smv chad, but like how everyone wants to be a millionaire and rich but cant, ur brain adjusts and deludes itself and you’ll be happy with what you have. atleast this is my view on how attraction works for both men and women. also i think women get tired at a point of being with a better man than they are and get a sense of insecurity either way, also i dont think a woman would settle with a guy who has similar value to them, either lower or higher always and if higher mostly ends with a divorce. i’ve been with lower- almost similar value women (still a teenager) and i always outshine them (according to them and their friends), i’ve been dumped multiple times for being a “player”, once it was “my friend told me he was a player and i take advantage of girls bc hes good looking and smart” (got a screenshot from her other friend after i started talking to her ) i wouldnt even say i talk to one girl more than once bc most of them obsess over me so ones more than enough so i dont get where they got the idea of me being a “player”. being with higher value women is easier mostly stable but i end it before it goes too far because i cannot control myself and it always ends in me descending and becoming a chud or wtv

 

[breadnbakershaker]

attraction is lowk fucked just improve and work on urself and you’ll get good results. i dont believe in “hypergamy” because everyone wants a good looking dude/ high smv chad, but like how everyone wants to be a millionaire and rich but cant, ur brain adjusts and deludes itself and you’ll be happy with what you have. atleast this is my view on how attraction works for both men and women. also i think women get tired at a point of being with a better man than they are and get a sense of insecurity either way, also i dont think a woman would settle with a guy who has similar value to them, either lower or higher always and if higher mostly ends with a divorce. i’ve been with lower- almost similar value women (still a teenager) and i always outshine them (according to them and their friends), i’ve been dumped multiple times for being a “player”, once it was “my friend told me he was a player and i take advantage of girls bc hes good looking and smart” (got a screenshot from her other friend after i started talking to her ) i wouldnt even say i talk to one girl more than once bc most of them obsess over me so ones more than enough so i dont get where they got the idea of me being a “player”. being with higher value women is easier mostly stable but i end it before it goes too far because i cannot control myself and it always ends in me descending and becoming a chud or wtv

yeah this is more what im getting at
i dont think attraction is random but i think people online massively overestimate how cleanly it can be reduced to smv


your own example kinda proves it too, if you were supposedly higher value and still got dumped then clearly “being higher value” isnt enough to predict who stays with who

 

[xyn]

this actually makes sense in my case then, maybe it was never about who's better at what huh

also some women get bored, like genuinely just bored. prolly just born to be whores

 

[True Spaniard]

I’m starting to wonder if a lot of hypergamy discourse is just a way for guys to turn rejection into a system they can understand

I got cheated on about a month ago by my ex (thread w pictures and the breakup call page 2-3) she chose someone that has little to no status, spends all his earnings on upgrading his e-bike and is overweight and most likely considered obese, I still haven't figured out what this guy has that I didn't. Then I spent every lick of time trying to work on my looks, trying to become more social, more active in my social circle, going to the gym, spending thousands on clothes but that feeling still daunts me.

You can win every comparison in your own head and still get rejected. You can be better looking, richer, more social, whatever, and someone can still prefer another person.

Additionally I was out on a 2-man with my friend and his girlfriend was not his looksmatch whatsoever, my friend dresses like a bum and I personally don't think he deserves the girl he has, It just doesn't look right in a picture
You can “win” every comparison in your head and still get left because foids will foid, then you'll cry for weeks trying to figure out what you did
Having a girlfriend in general is pointless at such a young age, 17-15. Sure you get the oxytocin, sure you feel loved for a few months but men aren't capable of putting themselves first before the girl therefore slowly descending in all aspects of life just like I did, not to mention remembering you weren't her first and by definition you're considered a cuck, I think women are only good so long as you're unable to get attached, the girl I spoke to I treated like shit at the start, she wanted me so much and I gave in at some point.

I have been around women and I think the perception we get through tiktok and all of these forums with people talking about what "will" happen if they do this or do that is widely put out of proportion.

So where’s the line? Is hypergamy a useful description of some dating patterns, or does it become cope when we use it to explain every rejection?

So you try to disprove an studied concept that affects the male demographic as a whole with your anecdotal experiences? Yeah what you say must be true

 

[breadnbakershaker]

also some women get bored, like genuinely just bored. prolly just born to be whores

true, a majority atleast
especially the ones that state they're an "in the moment" type of person

 

[breadnbakershaker]

So you try to disprove an studied concept that affects the male demographic as a whole with your anecdotal experiences? Yeah what you say must be true

im not saying one breakup disproves population level trends
im saying my breakup made me question how people apply the concept to individual cases


if she chooses a guy rated higher, people say hypergamy
if she chooses lower, people say insecurity or settling
if every outcome preserves the theory then how useful is it for explaining one persons choice


if theres good research on the broader claim im interested in seeing it

 

[True Spaniard]

im not saying one breakup disproves population level trends
im saying my breakup made me question how people apply the concept to individual cases


if she chooses a guy rated higher, people say hypergamy
if she chooses lower, people say insecurity or settling
if every outcome preserves the theory then how useful is it for explaining one persons choice


if theres good research on the broader claim im interested in seeing it

Obviously theres always a bias since the brain always tries to associate the event to the most logical cause, but this really doesnt disprove at all hypergamy tendency amongst women

 

[itsoverforyoubro]

Dnr but yes all hypergamy stats are based on dating apps where your looks are the only thing people are seeing.

In real life girls will give more inferior guys a chance, however keep in mind it is only natural to want the best, so don’t be surprised when u see people being hypergamous even in real life