Dating Is Inherently Discriminatory

[NT Master]

Dating Is Inherently Discriminatory—And No Amount of Progressivism Can Change That​

Modern society places a strong emphasis on diversity, inclusivity, and equality—values that have reshaped workplaces, education, and social policies. However, there is one area where these ideals have completely failed to take hold: dating.

Despite decades of progressive activism and increased representation in media, people’s romantic and sexual preferences remain stubbornly exclusive. Studies consistently show that certain ethnicities, heights, body types, and facial structures are preferred over others—and these preferences have barely shifted over time.

The truth is simple but often ignored: dating is inherently discriminatory.

Unlike jobs or housing, where discrimination is illegal, romantic attraction follows deeply ingrained biological and cultural patterns. No law or progressive campaign can force someone to be attracted to a person they find unattractive. And pretending that time or increased media representation will somehow make dating more "equitable" is naive at best.

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Dating Preferences Are Not Random—They Follow Patterns​

When people say they are "attracted to a certain type," they are usually referring to a set of physical and social traits that consistently influence human mate selection (Potarca, 2015). These traits include:

• Height – Women overwhelmingly prefer taller men, and men generally prefer shorter women.
• Facial Structure – Strong jawlines, symmetrical features, and high cheekbones are universally preferred across cultures.
• Ethnicity & Racial Features – Certain ethnicities have specific facial structures, skin tones, and body types that some find attractive and others do not.
• Body Type & Fitness – Standards of physical beauty tend to favor lean, muscular men and slim yet curvy women.
• Wealth & Social Status – While often considered a "shallow" factor, financial stability and success strongly influence attractiveness.

Many progressive narratives suggest that these preferences are socially constructed and will change over time. Yet, despite increased representation of all body types and races in media, dating apps and sociological studies show that preferences have barely shifted.

• Tinder and OKCupid data show that Asian men and Black women receive the fewest matches across all dating demographics.
• Women continue to rate 80% of men as "below average" in attractiveness.
• Men continue to show overwhelming preference for younger women with symmetrical features.

These patterns persist regardless of cultural progress or media influence.

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Ignoring Reality Won’t Lead to Solutions​

A major issue with progressive discourse on dating is the refusal to acknowledge uncomfortable truths (Khawaja, 2019). Instead of addressing why certain people struggle in the dating market, mainstream narratives insist that:

• “Representation will fix this.” (It hasn’t.)
• “People just need to be more open-minded.” (But attraction is not a choice.)
• “Racism and prejudice are the only reasons certain people struggle in dating.” (This ignores biological attraction and long-standing mate selection preferences.)

This denial of reality does not help people who struggle to attract partners. Instead, it leaves them frustrated, confused, and isolated. If we want to have honest conversations about dating, we must acknowledge:

1. Some people will simply never be attractive to certain groups.
2. No amount of social conditioning can override deep-seated preferences.
3. Ignoring the issue will not make it disappear.

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Honesty Is the Only Path Forward​

Rather than pretending that attraction is completely fluid and socially constructed, people should be honest about their preferences—and others should adapt accordingly (Furnham & McClelland, 2015).

For those who don’t fit conventional beauty standards, there are two main options:

1. Work Toward Meeting the Preferences of Others​

While bone structure and height may be fixed, many aspects of attractiveness can be improved through:

• Exercise & diet to enhance physique.
• Grooming, skincare, and style to improve overall appearance.
• Cosmetic procedures (e.g., jawline surgery, rhinoplasty, height-lengthening surgery) for those willing to make extreme changes.

Many successful people in dating have transformed themselves through effort and self-improvement.

2. Seek Communities That Value You as You Are​

Rather than trying to force mainstream culture to change, people should seek communities and subcultures where they are valued.

• Some ethnic and social groups have specific preferences that align with certain traits.
• Dating internationally can sometimes provide better opportunities for those who struggle in Western dating markets.
• Niche dating platforms and events cater to specific interests and demographics.

By focusing on where one is wanted rather than where one is not, people can avoid wasting energy on resentment and instead build meaningful relationships.

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Conclusion: Attraction Cannot Be Legislated or Guilt-Tripped​

Dating will never be equally accessible to everyone because attraction is deeply discriminatory by nature (Mitchell & Wells, 2018). Some people will always be preferred over others, and no amount of social progress, media representation, or activism will change that fundamental reality.

The best approach is honesty—acknowledging the biases in attraction and giving people realistic pathways to improve their dating lives rather than feeding them false hope.

Not everyone will win in the dating game, but understanding the rules of attraction gives people the power to navigate it wisely—rather than pretending it doesn’t exist.

 

[silently_said]

over for chatgptcels

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Wtr

 

[Neucher]

Work Toward Meeting the Preferences of Others

 

[unfortunatehobbies]

dnr, water (and im the greyest grey you'll ever meet)