My Experience as a Dalit Woman Navigating Dating in India.

[MiserableMan]

Not really only Jats and Rors. Dogras, Kashmiris, Punjabi Brahmins, Pahadis don't.

You don't know much since you aren't rom the north, there blood exist in all north Indians.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

Hardly, they arrived in India over 2,700 years ago, all north Indians have scythian blood in them. Many local practices were influenced by them.

Also non-jatt rajasthanis also don't have any Scythian blood.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

You don't know much since you aren't rom the north, there blood exist in all north Indians.

How do u know I'm not from the North? I am. I've done my research no significant genetic proof of Scythians exist in other North Indians. Only Jatts and Rors have, also how tf will I not understand, does every North Indian say I am scythian by birth ask ur neighbours and people on the street they won't have a clue.

 

[MiserableMan]

Also non-jatt rajasthanis also don't have any Scythian blood.

Rajasthan is very massive, it isn't considered a north Indian state either, the rajputs in all of north India have connection with the scythian people.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

Rajasthan is very massive, it isn't considered a north Indian state either, the rajputs in all of north India have connection with the scythian people.

I'll give u a list, Jatts, Rors, Rajputs, Arora, Khatri.

 

[MiserableMan]

How do u know I'm not from the North? I am. I've done my research no significant genetic proof of Scythians exist in other North Indians. Only Jatts and Rors have, also how tf will I not understand, does every North Indian say I am scythian by birth ask ur neighbours and people on the street they won't have a clue.

The steppe blood in north Indians shares a direct connection with them, yeah most north Indians won't be aware of that, but it is there.

 

[Prøphet]

 

[MiserableMan]

I'll give u a list, Jatts, Rors, Rajputs, Arora, Khatri.

I am a himachali rajput, and i do have some ancestry directly from them, so yeah.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

Rajasthan is very massive, it isn't considered a north Indian state either, the rajputs in all of north India have connection with the scythian people.

This is very pseudo scientific, u probably have 0% Scythian DNA, even less steppe DNA. A lot of genetic change didn't happen in Pahari areas excluding Dogras, because of mountains. Unless ur a Brahmin, or Rajput most Pahadis are light skinned not because of Steppe DNA but because of less Adivasi DNA AND Tibetan DNA. Even Rajastan and Himachal Rajputs are different. Rajputs from Himachal have less Scythian DNA.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

Mountains isolate people.

I am a himachali rajput, and i do have some ancestry directly from them, so yeah.

 

[MiserableMan]

This is very pseudo scientific, u probably have 0% Scythian DNA, even less steppe DNA. A lot of genetic change didn't happen in Pahari areas excluding Dogras, because of mountains. Unless ur a Brahmin, or Rajput most Pahadis are light skinned not because of Steppe DNA but because of less Adivasi DNA AND Tibetan DNA. Even Rajastan and Himachal Rajputs are different. Rajputs from Himachal have less Scythian DNA.

My family migrated from rajasthan about 800 years ago, dogras are kashmiri, not really pahadi. Himachali's score fairly high in steppe ancestry though, so that is straight up bs on your part, and yes i am a rajput.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

My family migrated from rajasthan about 800 years ago, dogras are kashmiri, not really pahadi. Himachali's score fairly high in steppe ancestry though, so that is straight up bs on your part, and yes i am a rajput.

No Pahadis actually score low on steppe Ancestry. Only like 15-20% like BIMARU states. Only Punjab, Haryana have significant steppe.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

My family migrated from rajasthan about 800 years ago, dogras are kashmiri, not really pahadi. Himachali's score fairly high in steppe ancestry though, so that is straight up bs on your part, and yes i am a rajput.

Rajputs may score higher though like 20-30%.

 

[MiserableMan]

Rajputs may score higher though like 20-30%.

It's depends, some can go as high as 40-45, but that is quite rare.

 

[MiserableMan]

No Pahadis actually score low on steppe Ancestry. Only like 15-20% like BIMARU states. Only Punjab, Haryana have significant steppe.

This is some bs, a lot of phadi have significant admixture from punjab and rajasthan, and can score anywhere from 20-45, depending on the region. Most have high Zagros(IVC) combined with low aasi at around 15-20%, it's the zagros ancestry and steppe blood which makes some pahadi lighter skinned and some times coloured eyes.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

This is some bs, a lot of phadi have significant admixture from punjab and rajasthan, and can score anywhere from 20-45, depending on the region. Most have high Zagros(IVC) combined with low aasi at around 15-20%, it's the zagros ancestry and steppe blood which makes some pahadi lighter skinned and some times coloured eyes.

It's true, u can search it up urself. Or use population genetics sites. Anyways I don't think u should mind anyways, ur a Rajput 20-30% steppe. Also no it definitely won't go higher than 35% over 25-30% is rare too almost none.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

This is some bs, a lot of phadi have significant admixture from punjab and rajasthan, and can score anywhere from 20-45, depending on the region. Most have high Zagros(IVC) combined with low aasi at around 15-20%, it's the zagros ancestry and steppe blood which makes some pahadi lighter skinned and some times coloured eyes.

Not steppe blood but lack of aasi and significance of Tibetan genes.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

This is some bs, a lot of phadi have significant admixture from punjab and rajasthan, and can score anywhere from 20-45, depending on the region. Most have high Zagros(IVC) combined with low aasi at around 15-20%, it's the zagros ancestry and steppe blood which makes some pahadi lighter skinned and some times coloured eyes.

In pahadi rajputs yes steppe blood makes an impact.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

This is some bs, a lot of phadi have significant admixture from punjab and rajasthan, and can score anywhere from 20-45, depending on the region. Most have high Zagros(IVC) combined with low aasi at around 15-20%, it's the zagros ancestry and steppe blood which makes some pahadi lighter skinned and some times coloured eyes.

Lmao this conversation went through like 3-5 phases and discussions.

 

[MiserableMan]

Not steppe blood but lack of aasi and significance of Tibetan genes.

Hardley, tibetens are landlocked up in the northern provinces, i have no tibeten blood same goes for most of the very light skin people i know. It's mostly zagros and low aasi, and some sexual selection or lighter skin.

 

[MiserableMan]

Lmao this conversation went through like 3-5 phases and discussions.

Guess we should end this shit know. No point in dragging it on.

 

[Skullmaxxer]

Hardley, tibetens are landlocked up in the northern provinces, i have no tibeten blood same goes for most of the very light skin people i know. It's mostly zagros and low aasi, and some sexual selection or lighter skin.

U probably do like 10-15% Tibetan blood is present in Pahadis on average.

 

[MiserableMan]

It's true, u can search it up urself. Or use population genetics sites. Anyways I don't think u should mind anyways, ur a Rajput 20-30% steppe. Also no it definitely won't go higher than 35% over 25-30% is rare too almost none.

Researches are not always accurate man, and in some isolated groups it can go as high as 40% although as you said it is very rare, but it does exist.

 

[MiserableMan]

U probably do like 10-15% Tibetan blood is present in Pahadis on average.

I actually don't tibeten people were largely isolated for most of the millenia, most admixture happened only around the last century or two.

 

[2vi]

Dating was never supposed to feel like this.

I entered the world of dating with the same expectations most people have: to connect, to fall in love, to feel seen. But as a Dalit woman in India, I quickly learned that love here doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Caste is always in the room, even when no one says the word out loud.

For a while, things would go well. I’d meet someone who seemed interested - someone who liked my mind, my independence, my confidence. But the moment my caste came up, everything changed. The shift would be almost instant: they’d pull away, act distant, or disappear altogether. The messages would stop. Suddenly I wasn’t the woman they saw a "future" with.

The most painful part is that these weren’t always strangers on dating apps. Some were men I’d grown close to, men who knew me, who laughed with me, who held my hand like it meant something. And yet, when the novelty wore off or things began to feel "serious," they’d fall back on caste as a convenient excuse. "It’s not you," they’d say. "But our families would never accept it." Or worse: "You deserve someone who won’t have to fight this hard."

As if I hadn’t spent my entire life fighting.

It’s not just the rejection, it’s the way caste turns you into a category instead of a person. I’ve had men tell me things like, "You don’t look like a Dalit," or "Wow, I’d never have guessed." What they mean is: I don’t conform to their image of what a Dalit woman should look or act like, which, in their minds, is someone visibly inferior, someone they can feel superior to.

Other times, the comments are overtly sexual. I’ve been told that Dalit women are "wild," "great in bed," "more open-minded." I’ve been fetishized more times than I can count. To them, I’m exciting, a break from the norm. I’m someone to sleep with, not someone to marry. I’ve begun to feel like I’m part of a private ritual that savarna men go through before they settle down with someone from their own caste. I’m the hidden phase they never speak of: the shame wrapped in lust.

The disposability of it all hits hard. I started to feel like a test run. Like I was being dated until it was time to get "serious' with someone more culturally convenient. Someone caste-approved. Someone who doesn’t require courage to love.

Even potential relationships, ones that never get off the ground, often end the same way. Some men ask subtly, "Where are you from?" "What’s your full name?" And when the answers reveal my identity, the interest evaporates. They’ll say something vague like, "Oh, I just don’t think we’re a match," but I know what they’re really saying. Before I even get a chance to show who I am, they’ve already decided I’m not worth the effort.

And then there’s the constant class difference; the socio-economic gap that underscores everything. I’ve worked incredibly hard to be where I am. I’ve studied, built a career, supported myself. But even then, it’s not enough. My achievements are dismissed, often linked only to reservation. I’m told, sometimes jokingly, sometimes not, "You must’ve gotten in through quota." As if I couldn’t possibly be where I am because I earned it.

The microaggressions are endless- subtle, but sharp. Comments about my "privileges," or how "caste shouldn’t matter in today’s world," usually come from those who’ve never had to hide their identity to be loved. Or worse, people say, "But you’re not like those Dalits," expecting me to be flattered.

I used to push back. I used to try and explain. I tried to educate, to correct, to be patient. But it’s exhausting to keep justifying your humanity, to keep asking people to see you as a full person instead of a caste stereotype.

Over time, this constant emotional labor began to erode something in me. I started believing that love wasn’t meant for people like me. That no matter how successful, kind, or loving I am, I’ll always be too Dalit to deserve something lasting, something public, something proud.

And so, I quit dating.

Not because I stopped believing in love, but because I couldn’t keep subjecting myself to this cycle of fetish, rejection, erasure, and pain. I couldn't keep being someone's experiment, someone's thrill, someone's secret. I couldn’t keep performing emotional labor just to prove I’m worthy of basic respect.

Choosing to stop dating was not giving up, it was reclaiming my peace.

I want a love that doesn’t ask me to shrink. A love that sees my caste and still stays. A love that honors my story, my struggle, my strength. Until that love exists, until someone chooses me with my identity, not in spite of it, I choose myself.

To every Dalit woman reading this who has felt invisible, fetishized, or discarded: I see you. Your worth is not defined by their silence, their shame, or their cowardice. We are not disposable. We are not secret histories in someone else’s life

dnr