Day 1 post break up (update).

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

 

[abzz]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

hey man, remember that none of this stuff makes you weak or too much. i promise you. what you're describing here is absolute pain, emotionally and physically. you are a strong man for reaching out, instead of keeping this shit to yourself. my brother, you don't deserve to hurt yourself to release that pain. it might seem like an easy way out but it's not worth the trouble. im glad that they weren't sharp enough to cause any pain. maybe advise a medical professional man, they deal with this stuff way more than you think, it's okay to reach out man. i care about you so much bro, i promise you. message me whenever, call me whenever, im here brother. always here. you're just vulnerable and hurt at the moment, and we are all here to help you, me among these amazing users on .org. love you man, always

 

[asdvek]

is this forum your personal diary you faggot? who gives a fuck about this? is this a place where you can cry and vent like a bitch?

 

[imontheloose]

is this forum your personal diary you faggot? who gives a fuck about this? is this a place where you can cry and vent like a bitch?

Send him an edit of encouragement. This is what happens when you decrease your edits/day.

 

[Htncel1]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

Jfl at you cutting your self, and finding confort with a foid

 

[TheSupremeIncel]

D

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

DNRD, Did you break up with your girlfriend? Lol, LTR's never work

 

[asdvek]

Send him an edit of encouragement. This is what happens when you decrease your edits/day.

nah i just read a few words and OP apparently cut himself over a foid

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

@barambo @nsk4ll @xzylecrey @Panchitosbroncs @BigBallsLarry

they weren't sharp enough to cause any pain

They did cause pain, just not that much and no serious injury.

vulnerable

I wanna be vulnerable bro.
The one person i could be vulnerable around is gone tho jfl.
Or the first person i ever opened up to in any way.

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

D

DNRD, Did you break up with your girlfriend? Lol, LTR's never work

Jfl at you cutting your self, and finding confort with a foid

Is this a place where you can cry and vent like a bitch?

Yes.

Imma ignore all of you piece of shit niggers now.

 

[abzz]

@barambo @nsk4ll @xzylecrey @Panchitosbroncs @BigBallsLarry

They did cause pain, just not that much and no serious injury.

I wanna be vulnerable bro.
The one person i could be vulnerable around is gone tho jfl.
Or the first person i ever opened up to in any way.

fuck man, does it still hurt?

that's good bro, im glad. you are a strong guy, you will get through this, i promise you.

like i said, she might come back. you can't guarantee that she's gone forever

 

[Htncel1]

nah i just read a few words and OP apparently cut himself over a foid

View attachment 4543285

Yes.

Imma ignore all of you piece of shit niggers now.

Lowest testostrone on Org btw

 

[Htncel1]

. you are a strong guy,

like i said, she might come back. you can't guarantee that she's gone forever

 

[abzz]

LTR's never work

jfl at this retarded comment

 

[BrutalMogger]

jfl at cutting yourself over foids

 

[abzz]

cheers mate

 

[Htncel1]

jfl at this retarded comment

not wrong or right

 

[abzz]

not wrong or right

how come

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

like i said, she might come back. you can't guarantee that she's gone forever

I won't count on it.
Tbh if she said we could be together i'd run back like a good fucking boy.
There is genuinely nothing i wouldn't forgive.
Idk if that' a good thing tho

 

[imontheloose]

nah i just read a few words and OP apparently cut himself over a foid

View attachment 4543285

Only an attention-seeking animal would ever SH instead of simply hanging themselves, and even worse: post it online...

 

[Panchitosbroncs]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

Don't cut yourself bro. I'm not the right person to tell you that tho.

 

[abzz]

O

View attachment 4543308

how the fuck do you find edits like this

 

[imontheloose]

how the fuck do you find edits like this

Hello, I am Andrew Tate and you are a fucking nigger.

 

[abzz]

Hello, I am Andrew Tate and you are a fucking nigger.

still haven't stopped laughing at this shit

fucking hell

 

[asdvek]

Only an attention-seeking animal would ever SH instead of simply hanging themselves, and even worse: post it online...

View attachment 4543308

How the fuck did this forum become a place where niggas cut themselves like a girl, cry, vent, and then have other retards comfort them and tell them "it'll all be okay" ??

Cutting yourself is such a female behavior.

These 2025cels are all pussy ass fags, they're literal femboys.

 

[imontheloose]

How the fuck did this forum become a place where niggas cut themselves like a girl, cry, vent, and then have other retards comfort them and tell them "it'll all be okay" ??

Cutting yourself is such a female behavior.

These 2025cels are all pussy ass fags, they're literal femboys.

They need to invest in greater things.

Richard Ramirez T-shirt Nightstalker Nightprowler Serialkiller T-shirt Mannen Katoenen T-shirt Hip Hop Tees Tops - AliExpress 200000343

Smarter Shopping, Better Living! Aliexpress.com

www.aliexpress.com

 

[asdvek]

They need to invest in greater things.

Richard Ramirez T-shirt Nightstalker Nightprowler Serialkiller T-shirt Mannen Katoenen T-shirt Hip Hop Tees Tops - AliExpress 200000343

Smarter Shopping, Better Living! Aliexpress.com

www.aliexpress.com

But bro

@abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to

But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them

I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks

turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org

 

[Hernan]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

Damn that was long.

 

[leberkaesmaxx]

is this forum your personal diary you faggot? who gives a fuck about this? is this a place where you can cry and vent like a bitch?

kys lowk

 

[barambo]

kys lowk

highk

 

[asdvek]

kys lowk

highk

Both retards

 

[5OuttaTen]

Breakups are rough but it’ll get easier. I’ve had some really bad ones myself bro, just let yourself feel everything, don’t try to rebound, and start watching some movies at night to distract yourself before sleep

 

[GandyLuvr]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

Does part of her breaking up with you have to do with the fact that you are an EvilSatanArseRapist.

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

Does part of her breaking up with you have to do with the fact that you are an EvilSatanArseRapist.

No it doesn't. Jfl.
@GandyLuvr im loving and wholesome actually

 

[GandyLuvr]

No it doesn't. Jfl.
@GandyLuvr im loving and wholesome actually

That’s good.

 

[spongebobsex]

It is what it is bhai don’t attempt to cut yourself again shits gay and retarded tbh just go to the gym or box let it all out bhai it’ll be okay man hope you’re doing well

 

[satangoy]

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)

feel honored

I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .

POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

Mirin the life fuel

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

@5OuttaTen @trump
There you go

 

[Mo3452]

is this forum your personal diary you faggot? who gives a fuck about this? is this a place where you can cry and vent like a bitch?

syfm eqlet

 

[Mo3452]

First of all i wanna express immense grattitude towards the people who are helping me through this intense experience.

Context:
Thread 'She fucking left me. (Rope fuel)' https://looksmax.org/threads/she-fucking-left-me-rope-fuel.1823535/

@satangoy @abzz @DrunkenSailor (banned) @Hernan @hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm very sorry if i missed someone. These are the ones tht come to kind. Special thanks to satangoy (but to the rest aswell ofc)



I wrote a part of this before 4pm, but from then till now some more shit happened so this will kinda have 2 segments.

Anyways, here it goes.

PRE 16:00

Although I did not sleep much last night, I did not really wake up tired, probably because of some fucking stress hormone response or whatever it may be. @abzz actually stayed up all night for me just in case I woke up and needed someone to talk to, which I, of course, greatly appreciated. It’s really moving. After I got ready, my uncle drove me to school. On the car ride there, I actually texted a little with my now-ex. I also texted her mother because she basically sees me like a son, and she is devastated and does love me very much. I also texted my own mother and told her about our breakup and how I wanted to go home and didn’t wanna do all the shit in Italy anymore, and that I’m feeling like shit.
In school, I was just listening to music pretty much the whole day. I wasn’t paying attention. It helped drown out all my thoughts a tiny bit. I was also on org and texted a few people like Hernan and the others listed above. It was very moving to see that people care. It was very touching. Eventually, all the thoughts did get a bit too much. I almost started crying two times. I held back, though, but my eyes did get a bit watery. One time I was kind of digging my fingers into my face, my fingernails into my face, but didn’t pull down like I sometimes do.
I also started getting quite a bad stomach ache and a headache. Eventually, the venting and the talking with people over text did certainly help, and I appreciate it a lot. It did not quite cut it anymore, and it’s not at all your fault. Please don’t think you guys didn’t do enough or whatever. You did everything you can. I appreciate it a lot. It definitely does help. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t think you should have done more or whatever.
But I ended up finding a pair of scissors and, in the corner of the class, tried self-harming with them. They were just like the knife I had on me yesterday—not sharp, luckily—so it just left a few scratches that were ever so slightly bleeding. I just needed to get shit out of me, and I don’t know if going to school that day was a good idea because I had to sit there with all my thoughts and everything.
After a bit of time, I had my uncle pick me up, even though it only really shortened the school day by an hour or so. Still, it’s better than nothing, I guess. After that, I came back to my uncle’s place where I’m staying and basically locked myself in the room he’s giving me, turned off the light, and hid under the blanket while being on org and texting a bit with @satangoy , which was really nice. Thank you.
I’m surprised, quite frankly, that I didn’t send them hundreds of messages, which I sometimes did. They were kind of avoidant, and I’m a really, really fucking anxious person. Whenever there was stuff going on with them, they would need a bit of distance, and I would need the opposite. Still, we always worked it out very well and usually came back stronger. Sometimes I would send 200 fucking messages in one night, or 300, or 100—whatever.
Nothing more has happened so far. I’m taking a walk now, as I said before. I’ll see if anything else happens today. My ex’s mother told me that she’d talk to me some more after her night shift ends, when she gets home at eleven o’clock. I’ll just see how it goes ig .


POST 16:00 LIFE FUEL

After I stopped lying down and rotting under my covers, I decided to go for a walk. While I was walking, I was texting SatanGoy about his situation and some other stuff I won’t get into now. We ended up calling, and it was mostly him telling me about his life—what’s going on right now and other things. That shit was honestly fucking oxytocin-maxing. It was pretty good for a bit. I felt okay about existing.
Towards the end of the walk, my phone ended up running out of battery, and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere because I just wandered mindlessly and had no idea where i was going or how far—not quite ten kilometers, I think, but I’m not really sure how far I walked. I should have tracked it with Strava. With my last percent of battery, I managed to call my uncle and send him my location because it was getting dark. He picked me up around six.
After I got back, I was feeling worse again. When i don't distract myself with other people i quickly start feeling lonely and shit. I had told people in a group chat yesterday I was vomiting, convulsing, and having panic attacks, today I told them why. It turns out that even though they don’t really show it, there are people who actually care about me.
One of the people there talked with me for a bit. She’s someone who was extremely depressed and has a bunch of scars all over her arm from self-harm, so I knew she’d understand. I opened up to her a little, and we ended up talking for quite a while. It turns out she actually LURKS ON ORG and has read all my fucking threads—not to spy on me or anything, but because she observes and cares about people, even if she doesn’t publicly show it. That was pretty interesting, and honestly pretty cool. I really appreciated talking to her. I wasn’t in agony during that time; it distracted me. Talking to people distracts me, and it helps. I’m glad I have people to talk to.
She was pretty suicidal and didn’t have anyone to talk to back then, so now she’s doing what she can to prevent the same thing from happening to others—well, others she cares about, at least.
If you are reading this just know it really means a whole fucking lot.
If anyone knows its probably you jfl.
I’ll see what I do now. Maybe I’ll call my mother. I’m not sure if I feel like it yet. I’ll probably call my ex’s mother and talk a little, or maybe I’ll text. I’ll see.

I genuinely hope u will move on one day and find someone else. Even if if the mere thought is horrible to be with someone else because u think that only they have understood u well, that is simply not true. God has plans for u and u will find someone who u can be happy with, happier than ever or at least happier than rn, even if this seems a bit optimistic.

 

[ascendtocl122]

Wishing u the best Op

 

[Lukas73727]

is this forum your personal diary you faggot? who gives a fuck about this? is this a place where you can cry and vent like a bitch?

Nigga Stfu

 

[Lukas73727]

Fucking Foid, if you Need someone to Talk to dm me Brother wish u the Best and good is with you

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

syfm eqlet

Thx forthe defense
I have the nigger ignored.
70k posts of nothing but worthless shit jfl

Even if if the mere thought is horrible to be with someone else because u think that only they have understood u well, that is simply not true.

lets hopemit is that way

God has plans for u

i don't believe in god, but i appreciate the thought

even if this seems a bit optimistic.

it does jfl. Maybe life peaked in july / august of 2025 and it will never get better than that tbh.

Wishing u the best Op

 

[subhuman1996]

Ik breakups suck brah and it can feel like shit but trust me it rlly does get easier over time. The key is to try connecting with ppl who make life feel good instead of focusing on the breakup itself. Plus its totally normal to feel like crap at first but eventually things will get better. And when it does, u’ll feel stronger and honestly a little more like urself again. U got this bro

 

[EvilSatanArseRapist]

Ik breakups suck brah and it can feel like shit but trust me it rlly does get easier over time. The key is to try connecting with ppl who make life feel good instead of focusing on the breakup itself. Plus its totally normal to feel like crap at first but eventually things will get better. And when it does, u’ll feel stronger and honestly a little more like urself again. U got this bro