ascension
Kraken
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2019
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So, as part of "Slayer Purge" season, my team of Detectives is expanding. We are recruiting new members to join our highly esteemed team. Welcome to our newest member, @banks
Today I will be sharing the results of his research with you:
Amnesia Tinder Experiment: Raw and Unfrauded
Multimillionaire. Spicy, sizzling Mexican good looks. Poker master. Genius Tier IQ coupled with generosity (volunteers at local nightclub to help drunk teens to their Ubers). Chiselled abs, more crispy than the overcooked burnt Tacos at the Guadalajara street food stall.
And if none of that works, bags full of Fentanyl to run his World-famous "Amnesia Fentanyl method". It seems to us that he simply cannot fail.
So imagine my shock when I see this:
15 matches in 24 hours. No DMs.
No blonde stacies. No Gio Scotti. No Adriana Lima. Not even a Barrett look-alike.
And this was in the bustling metropolis that is Minnesota. Literally the home of Blonde stacies.
But... what about the narcy tales we were being fed earlier?
No, no, this can't be...
Unless... There can only be one explanation for this.
He gets 80 matches in the Shanty towns of Bangalore, whilst cunningly tricking us into thinking he's the biggest slayer in the USA since Professor Crisick (whilst filming the James Bond movie in 2009):
And not only that, but he must use the "Fentanyl method" to convince them into intercourse...
What she sees before Fentanyl:
After being spoon fed Fentanyl like it's groceries:
Unbelievable. However, it's not all over for Amnesia. Luckily there are some actual slayers on .org, who have created guides such as this one, so he can actually slay in America:
All Amnesia needs to do to fix his poor Tinder results is the Power Pose. The Power Pose can override all other outdated looksmax theories, such as Looks, Body, NT and Drip.
Do the Power Pose or get left behind @Jase @banks @House Lannister @ReadBooksEveryday
Today I will be sharing the results of his research with you:
Amnesia Tinder Experiment: Raw and Unfrauded
Multimillionaire. Spicy, sizzling Mexican good looks. Poker master. Genius Tier IQ coupled with generosity (volunteers at local nightclub to help drunk teens to their Ubers). Chiselled abs, more crispy than the overcooked burnt Tacos at the Guadalajara street food stall.
And if none of that works, bags full of Fentanyl to run his World-famous "Amnesia Fentanyl method". It seems to us that he simply cannot fail.
So imagine my shock when I see this:
15 matches in 24 hours. No DMs.
No blonde stacies. No Gio Scotti. No Adriana Lima. Not even a Barrett look-alike.
And this was in the bustling metropolis that is Minnesota. Literally the home of Blonde stacies.
But... what about the narcy tales we were being fed earlier?
No, no, this can't be...
Unless... There can only be one explanation for this.
He gets 80 matches in the Shanty towns of Bangalore, whilst cunningly tricking us into thinking he's the biggest slayer in the USA since Professor Crisick (whilst filming the James Bond movie in 2009):
And not only that, but he must use the "Fentanyl method" to convince them into intercourse...
What she sees before Fentanyl:
After being spoon fed Fentanyl like it's groceries:
Unbelievable. However, it's not all over for Amnesia. Luckily there are some actual slayers on .org, who have created guides such as this one, so he can actually slay in America:
All Amnesia needs to do to fix his poor Tinder results is the Power Pose. The Power Pose can override all other outdated looksmax theories, such as Looks, Body, NT and Drip.
Do the Power Pose or get left behind @Jase @banks @House Lannister @ReadBooksEveryday
Last edited:
jfl
