depression or just grown up

[kktsk]

I don't care if this thread won't be seen I'm just tired of fruitless dialogs with ai about it
16yo and it's not like my autistic incel teen life had many interesting events anyway, but at least I could look back and remember the times I had fondly. I could play counter strike the whole night during the summer break and I remember how fucking nice that was with that subtle sleepiness, the night air, and the look on the city's skyline in the break of dawn.
Not even that, just walking in the morning to the school which was actually pretty fucking terrible as I was sleep deprived and it was -30°c still evokes warm feelings
Now I can't have nostalgia for anything. I play a single game a cs and close the game. I do everything I used to being conscious about wanting to feel happy but I can't.

What do I fucking do at this point

 

[Ghost Philosophy]

Sounds like depression. Where TF do you live that it’s -30 degrees Celsius?! Siberia?

 

[kktsk]

Sounds like depression. Where TF do you live that it’s -30 degrees Celsius?! Siberia?

Exactly
Search up these doomer music cornball fucking playlists on YouTube and you will see what I've been looking at pretty much my whole life
But I have never been depressed from that
In fact, I've found that somewhat pretty and it doesn't look that bad in the summer

 

[Ghost Philosophy]

Exactly
Search up these doomer music cornball fucking playlists on YouTube and you will see my what I've been looking at pretty much my whole life
But I have never been depressed from that
In fact, I've found that somewhat pretty and it doesn't look that bad in the summer

Maybe you suffer from seasonal depression. It’s a thing. Usually happens in the winter, that’s why people hate it. But I like the winter. I don’t like the summers.

 

[kktsk]

Maybe you suffer from seasonal depression. It’s a thing. Usually happens in the winter, that’s why people hate it. But I like the winter. I don’t like the summers.

type shit I look at on the way home
I'm not sure about spring depression during the spring break being a thing
But is not even that, I've never felt anything like that in my life and I've been (kinda) depressed my whole teen years
I felt like it kept getting more grim, but now it feels like it's the turning point of despair

 

[Ghost Philosophy]

View attachment 4842994
type shit I look at on the way home
I'm not sure about spring depression during the spring break being a thing
But is not even that, I've never felt anything like that in my life and I've been (kinda) depressed my whole teen years
I felt like it kept getting more grim, but now it feels like it's the turning point of despair

Not gonna lie, that actually looks nice. I could chill there, no problems. Yeah, I don’t think there’s a spring depression but if there’s a winter depression, surely it wouldn’t be limited to just one season. Like, if people are going to be different, then different seasons should be affecting them. Not just only winter. Any reason why you’re feeling that way? Your looks? No social circle? No gf?

 

[kktsk]

Not gonna lie, that actually looks nice. I could chill there, no problems. Yeah, I don’t think there’s a spring depression but if there’s a winter depression, surely it wouldn’t be limited to just one season. Like, if people are going to be different, then different seasons should be affecting them. Not just only winter. Any reason why you’re feeling that way? Your looks? No social circle? No gf?

>Your looks? No social circle? No gf?

It's always been like the way it is now
That is the thing that drives me into despair. I don't know what the fuck has changed

 

[Ghost Philosophy]

>Your looks? No social circle? No gf?

It's always been like the way it is now
That is the thing that drives me into despair. I don't know what the fuck has changed

There was probably a subconscious trigger, then.

 

[rares54]

Depression or anxiety related mental issues tend to settle at around that age, during puberty.

Same thing happened to me and it was , still is, developed depression from around age 15-16

 

[kktsk]

Depression or anxiety related mental issues tend to settle at around that age, during puberty.

Same thing happened to me and it was , still is, developed depression from around age 15-16

thing is I have always had this kinda depressed mentality
I definitely can remember myself seething about the chads in my school and my own looks way before I discovered this forum
Could it be that now I have got hit with the TRVE depression?