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Deleted member 8699
Kraken
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!!! +2 SECONDS ATTENTION SPAN GANG ONLY !!!
!!! ACCESS FORBIDDEN TO ATTENTIONSPANLETS WILLPOWERLETS AND BRAINLETS THANK YOU !!!
!!! ACCESS FORBIDDEN TO ATTENTIONSPANLETS WILLPOWERLETS AND BRAINLETS THANK YOU !!!
Abstract
ive seen so many mofos out there being unable to sleep properly and it actually shows jfl jfl jfl.... lack of energy, low t high inhib, lethargy, low appetite, dark circles around the eyes (aka raccoonlite jfl jfl jfl).... we have so far developed good sleeping practice (GSP) in order to fix the aforementioned problems
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Chapter 1 - what 2 do during the day
ion tell ya how 2 spend ur day and all that shit but keep in mind that if you spend your whole day jerking off playing vidya rotting on .me and doing nothing productive, u PROBABLY don't have a really good sleeping experience (GSE). go out every now and then, join a gym and limit your screen exposure (if you stay +8 hours a day lmao). also drink 2-3 liters of H2O per day and eat healthy
(yeah this advice is bluepilled as fuck but in 99% of cases the most cliche solution is usually the best. just another use of occams razor)__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2 - what 2 do before sleeping
2 hourse before sleeping:
- DO NOT EAT
- DO NOT DRINK
- DO NOT EXERCISE
- DO NOT EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SCREENS, ESPECIALLY TO BLUE LIGHT
>b-b-b-b-ut what im spose 2 do then?
idk bro read a fucking book, watch the stars and/or the sky take a relaxing bath DO SOMETHING
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Chapter 3 - proper sleeping posture
pretty easy jfl
if you spent your day doing let's say moderate physical (and intellectual !!! very important) activity and drank enough water, this step will be really goddamn easy.
now, the best position for sleeping is on your back, without a pillow. you can put a few towels underneath your head if you can't stand to lay flat on the bed (KEEP IN MIND THAT IF YOU DO CHOOSE TO KEEP THE PILLOWS, CHANGE THE PILLOWCASES WEEKLY, YOUR FACE WILL THANK YOU).
try not to get on your side and DO NOT SLEEP ON YOUR ABDOMEN AT ALL COSTS!!!
also to quote mike jew, lips together, teeth together, roof on the palate. so the idea here is that you DONT open your mouth while asleep. many retarded people do so and they have the so called "just woke up" or "sleepy voice". THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SLEEPY VOICE!!! if you do it correctly, your voice after waking up will sound exactly like during the day. iunno y???? COS YOU HELD YOUR LIPS SEALED and no air infiltrated in your mouth in your sleep, therefore your mouth isn't dry in the first place. i sound like a literal opera singer immediately after waking up so definitely give it a try.
do your teeth detach during sleeping so you cant keep them together (i mean does your mandible move)????????? it's because you're either:
1. not used to doing it
or
2. don't have strong enough masseter muscles
or both jfl jfl jfl
to overcome this, strengthen your masseter muscles (i dont have to explain how jfl). you can also put a pillow underneath your head to decrease the angle at which the mandible moves offering support for your jaw so as to keep the distance between the teeth millimetrical.
HOW E VER:::
IDEALLY you'd want to sleep on the floor.
!!! THIS SOLUTION IS FOR [MONKMODE] ONLY !!! PROCEED ONLY IF YOU WANT TO [MONKMODEMAXX]
so the principle is simple: primitive people had to sleep only on stones and fields and all that shit cos beds werent invented back then... fair enough!
you basically sleep 1/3rd of your life so it definitely has an effect on your shape and bone configuration. FOR EXAMPLE: sleeping on the same side every night for the rest of your life will cause asymmetries: one side will be definitely flatter than the other (hmmm i wonder which one??) and ion think i have to prove that jfl.
when you sleep on the floor or on any other rough surface, you'll find sleeping on one side or on the abdomen really painful. and thus you'll be compelled to sleep on your back, adopting proper sleeping posture. also, sleeping on the floor will slightly strengthen your back muscles in the long run and it'll feel like a massage after waking up. but if you're not used to doing it (ie slept on a mattress your whole life like the subhuman you are), don't just implement all these changes all of a sudden. do it gradually. buy yourself a futon (some sort of jap bed for the floor). AND CLEAN YOUR DAMN ROOM WEEKLY IF YOU DONT WANT TO INHALE ALL THE DUST AND DEAD SKIN (or probably you want that free protein cockroach treat haha jfl jfl jfl).
you can improvise a pillow from your hand though, but ive never seen a human sleep like that jfl
>b-b-b-but muh sleep paralysis from sleeping on the back
if you have sleep paralysis by sleeping on the back, chances are you have other problems, MUCH WORSE than sleeping posture itself. fix them first, address a professional somnologist
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Chapter 4 - how 2 put urself to sleep FAST and EFFICIENTLY
now heres the tricky part. you spent your day productively, you were active, drank enough water, ate enough food and are RIGHT NOW into a comfortable proper position. wat do???
if you are not extremely exhausted or a boomer, chances are you might not be able to fall asleep instantaneously. the best practice i've found for falling asleep fast involves the following steps:
1. start counting your inhaling movements (dont worry about entering manual breathing mode, youll soon fall asleep). this serves to keep the head busy
2. STOP thinkin about ANYTHING other than counting. seriously, if you're overthinking your brain to death, how do you expect it to relax? it's like molesting a hamster while it runs for its life on a wheel and then expect it to rest (or even live jfl) relaxed. that's now how it works you need to get rid of every single though. force yourself through this step idk
in my case, a short time after the 2th step, my eyes (albeit closed) start seeing some sort of shapes and stuff like that (as if you were to hallucinate). CONCENTRATE on those fabrications of the mind, dive deep into the world of imagination. that's the last thing you'll remember doing cause you homies are about to fall asleep and do it without interruptions or waking up tired.
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Chapter 5 - addressing common misconceptions and questions
let's say you sleep subhumanly every single night of your life and THEN adopt the schedule above. youll probably come at me screeching autistically that it didnt work and i wasted your time and bullshit and so on. typical .me user. this schedule TAKES TIME AND DEDICATION. i promise you that in a month you'll get back to sleeping like an angel, without interruptions, with utter freshness of the mind and fully charged.
also, dont forget to sleep for 7-8 hours. nothing more, nothing less. everyone has a specific circadian rhythm, but try to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. not at 3 am 4 am all that shit. ive heard some retarded normies go to sleep at 8-9 am and wake up at 7 pm what a waste of genes
whenever i write in caps, imagine i'm screaming at you really loudly. cos doze parts important. sleep tight, puppr.
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Chapter 6 - inb4s
>inb4 dn read
i didnt either homie
>inb4 greycel moment
no comment on this one ppl going bananas over a colour jfl the absolute state
>inb4 bullshit advice
idk homie, its free advice. if u dont like it go ahead... wake up tired and lethargic who am i to push you jfl jfl jfl ngl tbh tbf kek lmao
