do you guys feel suicidal everyday

[cocosiewa0]

I wake up everyday and do all this bullshit. Wash my face, eat healthy, get sunlight, 8 hours of sleep. The only problem is the stress of being so boneless and malnourished to the point of no return. I can never stop hitting shit and crying and being so angry at my family because they do nothing good for me + the stress of being an LTN and no one caring about you. Everyone will tell you "you don't look THAT bad so why don't you just live your life. I can't. Nobody will ever care about you except for close relatives unless you are attractive or average looking and tall, that's just truth. The only person that truly loves me is my mother but even she won't accept that I'm suicidal and don't believe in god. Some days i will feel good about how I look and then the next I'm contemplating roping. I am going to be a freshman next year and I might kill myself before then because I already know what is coming for me + I don't want to have to stress about school. All i do all day is think about those train tracks next to my house and how I could end it whenever I want because I know when the train comes. But I never do it because of the pain it would bring me. I need to tell myself the pain of dying is far worse then what i will endure when I step foot inside high school.

i don't really care if anyone reads this, just need to clear my mind

I really just have one question, how do you guys NOT feel suicidal if you are ltn or below. What gets you through life?

 

[pentamogged9000]

yes but i no longer care about committing it
its a useless act

 

[crazyguy]

I wake up everyday and do all this bullshit. Wash my face, eat healthy, get sunlight, 8 hours of sleep. The only problem is the stress of being so boneless and malnourished to the point of no return. I can never stop hitting shit and crying and being so angry at my family because they do nothing good for me + the stress of being an LTN and no one caring about you. Everyone will tell you "you don't look THAT bad so why don't you just live your life. I can't. Nobody will ever care about you except for close relatives unless you are attractive or average looking and tall, that's just truth. The only person that truly loves me is my mother but even she won't accept that I'm suicidal and don't believe in god. Some days i will feel good about how I look and then the next I'm contemplating roping. I am going to be a freshman next year and I might kill myself before then because I already know what is coming for me + I don't want to have to stress about school. All i do all day is think about those train tracks next to my house and how I could end it whenever I want because I know when the train comes. But I never do it because of the pain it would bring me. I need to tell myself the pain of dying is far worse then what i will endure when I step foot inside high school.

i don't really care if anyone reads this, just need to clear my mind

I really just have one question, how do you guys NOT feel suicidal if you are ltn or below. What gets you through life?

how old are you?

 

[cocosiewa0]

yes but i no longer care about committing it
its a useless act

why is that

 

[InanimatePragmatist]

no

 

[neverenoughforme]

yea i feel exactly like that

 

[SuicideBomber]

No, but iam also Not a Ltn. So i dont know how IT feels. But you should believe in God, itll Help you.

 

[mirinturbolowinhib]

I dont care about it that much tbh