does anyone relate?

[PeaceAndLove4ever]

as a kid i always ldared at home. never played sports or had hobbies or anything. had strict parents and got picked up and sent straight home everyday for entire childhood years

ive been looking at my childhood neighbourhoods and realized i never been to any of the places around there let alone anyone to go with except my strict parents who never let me socialize, though my nd ass could never socialize anyway

i remember one day i was at home ldarring doing nothing when 3 kids from my neighbourhood knocked on the door and my mom opened the door. they asked me if i wanted to ride bikes with them (my strict ass parents never let me on a bike) and i immediately said no cus i was nd and extremely anti-social and thought that was what my strict as parents would want me to say

that was the closest i was to stepping into the right direction of grasping even a hint of a normal nt childhood. before and after that point i never had any friend nor anybody inviting me to anything like those 3 kids did

maybe its my fault for always trying to be the good obedient boy to my strict ass parents and i was always afraid of getting beat cus they started beating me since i was very young, i think it fucked up my unconcious mind or some shit

looking back and even now i realized how pathetically lonely and boring and abnormal and antisocial my entire life has been

i feel a angst of rage but its uncomfortably mellowed out with sadness and regret i dont know why i was born to be so abnormal hollow and nd

 

[Traum]

as a kid i always ldared at home. never played sports or had hobbies or anything. had strict parents and got picked up and sent straight home everyday for entire childhood years

ive been looking at my childhood neighbourhoods and realized i never been to any of the places around there let alone anyone to go with except my strict parents who never let me socialize, though my nd ass could never socialize anyway

i remember one day i was at home ldarring doing nothing when 3 kids from my neighbourhood knocked on the door and my mom opened the door. they asked me if i wanted to ride bikes with them (my strict ass parents never let me on a bike) and i immediately said no cus i was nd and extremely anti-social and thought that was what my strict as parents would want me to say

that was the closest i was to stepping into the right direction of grasping even a hint of a normal nt childhood. before and after that point i never had any friend nor anybody inviting me to anything like those 3 kids did

maybe its my fault for always trying to be the good obedient boy to my strict ass parents and i was always afraid of getting beat cus they started beating me since i was very young, i think it fucked up my unconcious mind or some shit

looking back and even now i realized how pathetically lonely and boring and abnormal and antisocial my entire life has been

i feel a angst of rage but its uncomfortably mellowed out with sadness and regret i dont know why i was born to be so abnormal hollow and nd

its never your fault, its your parents fault for not letting you be kid and socialize sorry that it had to be like this

 

[Grainsludgelover]

they should be hanged for this

 

[PeaceAndLove4ever]

i wish i could reincarnate and relive my childhood normally and do what normal children do in their childhoods though i still dont know what that is even now

whenever anyone asks anything about me and my childhood and who i am, i always fall back into a horrible dark pit of confusion and shame

 

[Traum]

i wish i could reincarnate and relive my childhood normally and do what normal children do in their childhoods though i still dont know what that is even now

whenever anyone asks anything about me and my childhood and who i am, i always fall back into a horrible dark pit of confusion and shame

what to you do nowadays

 

[PeaceAndLove4ever]

what to you do nowadays

rot in my room and avoid any human interaction

im taking school completely online so ive managed to reverse my sleep wake cycle to compmletely avoid my parents who work from home

i havent seen them in over a month now and havent gone outside except a 3am walk for about 3 months

 

[Traum]

rot in my room and avoid any human interaction

im taking school completely online so ive managed to reverse my sleep wake cycle to compmletely avoid my parents who work from home

i havent seen them in over a month now and havent gone outside except a 3am walk for about 3 months

do you have a plan for the future

 

[PeaceAndLove4ever]

the only hope i have is to move away from the city i live in and into a completely different city (across the country) for college so i can forever forget about my past and hopefully fake my way into a new life built on lies but at least then i might be able to feel better but i wont ever have anything real

 

[Traum]

the only hope i have is to move away from the city i live in and into a completely different city (across the country) for college so i can forever forget about my past and hopefully fake my way into a new life built on lies but at least then i might be able to feel better but i wont ever have anything real

good luck man