Does this sound like cognitive dissonance?

[Turtle]

So I'm sure you guys know I'm pretty weird, but the problem is...

whenever I sit down and really try to figure out exactly what I do that makes me seem so weird online (and irl too to an extent), my brain literally SHUTS off and I'm unable to continue thinking, my thoughts become badly muddled and meaningless, I literally become really stupid for a moment whenever I try to figure out what exactly makes people find me so strange and insane, it's like there's something in my brain thats stopping me from being even just merely TRYING to figure it out, so I'm just kinda trapped not knowing exactly what I'm doing so wrong

Also as soon as I stop trying to figure out what behaviours I do that makes me look insane, my brain returns back to normal and I can think clearly again, I just turn retarded when I try and ponder it, it's really fucking annoying and I don't know why it happens

 

[Deleted member 15698]

You have an avoidant personality. Force yourself to face the music

 

[Turtle]

You have an avoidant personality. Force yourself to face the music

It's not that I want to avoid it, it's that my brain is literally completely unable to actually even think about it at all, it's like my brain has some inbuilt program that prevents me from getting any awareness of why people think I'm so weird

 

[Deleted member 15698]

It's not that I want to avoid it, it's that my brain is literally completely unable to actually even think about it at all, it's like my brain has some inbuilt program that prevents me from getting any awareness of why people think I'm so weird

Keep working at it man you'll break through the wall

 

[Deleted member 10125]

It's not that I want to avoid it, it's that my brain is literally completely unable to actually even think about it at all, it's like my brain has some inbuilt program that prevents me from getting any awareness of why people think I'm so weird

When it comes to understanding your tendencies and habits, I'd say trying to "observe" what you're doing in the moment is much more efficient than trying to rationally explain them in your own head. Meditation and mindfulness training helps tremendously with becoming better at that

 

[day after day]

.

 

[Deleted member 16375]

You sound like you have social anxiety