Drained

[Jesus_ist_König]

Spoiler: Translated with Chatgpt from German to English

There are times when I find it amusing to be “special,” but just like now, there are times when I don’t like it. Every month it gets worse, and this indescribable thing is consuming me like a parasite. I take my medication, but it is no longer enough to regulate this thing. The cruelest part is that I cannot tell my parents any of this. My priest says I should discuss it with my therapists/psychologists (he means well, and he is not a professional after all), but then again my therapist replies to every fourth email, and right now, does not reply at all.

Thankfully, the bad voices are gone, however, the absence of the good voices hurts me. This thing scares me. It plays games with me. I do not want this.

Most of all, I would like to be absent. Not exist. Or be in a constant cycle consisting of taking sleeping pills after every awakening. I want to become a pupa (zoology), like a butterfly.

Soon I will no longer be here. Soon this thing will take over.

Kind regards,
JIK

@iwannasleeponurlap

 

[tomacōck]

Just be happy

 

[Rick_bozo]

nein

 

[dragomog]

?

 

[Scarlet]

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

?

?

 

[optimisticzoomer]

That’s what happens when you ejaculate

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

nein

doch

 

[Ldar09867]

Drain gang mentioned

 

[iwannasleeponurlap]

Spoiler: Translated with Chatgpt from German to English

There are times when I find it amusing to be “special,” but just like now, there are times when I don’t like it. Every month it gets worse, and this indescribable thing is consuming me like a parasite. I take my medication, but it is no longer enough to regulate this thing. The cruelest part is that I cannot tell my parents any of this. My priest says I should discuss it with my therapists/psychologists (he means well, and he is not a professional after all), but then again my therapist replies to every fourth email, and right now, does not reply at all.

Thankfully, the bad voices are gone, however, the absence of the good voices hurts me. This thing scares me. It plays games with me. I do not want this.

Most of all, I would like to be absent. Not exist. Or be in a constant cycle consisting of taking sleeping pills after every awakening. I want to become a pupa (zoology), like a butterfly.

Soon I will no longer be here. Soon this thing will take over.

Kind regards,
JIK

@iwannasleeponurlap

get new therapist or contact the center or something that gives you your medication

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

get new therapist or contact the center or something that gives you your medication

I wrote my old therapist from back then, i hope that she responds but im not sure, i think it would be also more wise to write my current therapist an email stating that i want to change the clinic

 

[lowestlowltn]

hope your okay bro

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

hope your okay bro

Im not

 

[2s2f]

ok

 

[lowestlowltn]

Im not

it gets better bro, trust me i was suicidal last year and now life is good just don’t give up it’s the worst thing you can do

 

[iwannasleeponurlap]

I wrote my old therapist from back then, i hope that she responds but im not sure, i think it would be also more wise to write my current therapist an email stating that i want to change the clinic

have you contacted the clinic or the predescriber managing the medication

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

it gets better bro, trust me i was suicidal last year and now life is good just don’t give up it’s the worst thing you can do

Ik i wont suicide bro i just want to have control over my mind back

 

[lowestlowltn]

Ik i wont suicide bro i just want to have control over my mind back

hope things get better, bro

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

have you contacted the clinic or the predescriber managing the medication

No, well I wrote him an email about the ... thing i told you in dms, but that was dayyssss ago and he didnt even respond to that, he ghosts me, i really doubt that to hard for him to respond to a fucking email once a week

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

hope things get better, bro

thanks

 

[iwannasleeponurlap]

No, well I wrote him an email about the ... thing i told you in dms, but that was dayyssss ago and he didnt even respond to that, he ghosts me, i really doubt that to hard for him to respond to a fucking email once a week

change asap maybe even contact a mental health service

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

change asap maybe even contact a

I know but my parents are in the way, they dont want me to change due to a lack of context and i dont want to give them the context or they will freak out

mental health service

they are shit

 

[iwannasleeponurlap]

I know but my parents are in the way, they dont want me to change due to a lack of context and i dont want to give them the context or they will freak out

they are shit

bro its always the parents istg
ok just tell them you dont wanna tell or something

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

bro its always the parents istg
ok just tell them you dont wanna tell or something

thats not enough for them but yeah i will find a way

 

[iwannasleeponurlap]

thats not enough for them but yeah i will find a way

i love you bro

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

i love you bro

 

[satangoy]

ur one relatable ass mf yk but you gotta push through it don't let it take you over

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

ur one relatable ass mf yk but you gotta push through it don't let it take you over

Ugh yeah wasnt it that you also hear voices? Its just its not the voices, i have them under control with my adhd meds now, its that smth else makes me lose control, its similar as if a new personality takes over but its not the same, its slightly different

 

[satangoy]

Ugh yeah wasnt it that you also hear voices?

unfortunately yeah, used to be way worse though now it's milder

Its just its not the voices, i have them under control with my adhd meds now, its that smth else makes me lose control, its similar as if a new personality takes over but its not the same, its slightly different

the fact ik exactly what ur talking about

 

[Jesus_ist_König]

unfortunately yeah, used to be way worse though now it's milder

the fact ik exactly what ur talking about

Are there any medications for that I need to change my clinic ughhh
I dont want to take olanzapine cuz nigga shit eats your whole brain

 

[satangoy]

Are there any medications for that I need to change my clinic ughhh
I dont want to take olanzapine cuz nigga shit eats your whole brain

pm me