Discussion Ego death is hell

[R@m@]

People keep romanticizing the idea of ego death but its actually a really hellish experience

Specially if youre someone with an inflated sense of self and narcissist

 

[Eltrē]

at what dosage did you achieve ego death?

 

[R@m@]

at what dosage did you achieve ego death?

250ug

 

[Eltrē]

250ug

did it just happen by itself or did you do something specific to trigger it?

i've went all the way up to 600 and still nothing, i've almost had it once at 300 but i freaked out and stopped it and can't seem to replicate that feeling again

 

[R@m@]

did it just happen by itself or did you do something specific to trigger it?

i've went all the way up to 600 and still nothing, i've almost had it once at 300 but i freaked out and stopped it and can't seem to replicate that feeling again

Happened by itself

 

[R@m@]

did it just happen by itself or did you do something specific to trigger it?

i've went all the way up to 600 and still nothing, i've almost had it once at 300 but i freaked out and stopped it and can't seem to replicate that feeling again

Theres also other ways to experience ego death, like for example when you experience so much stress that your brain dissociates and if you spend lot of time dissociated you forgot who you are, this is brutal

 

[Beastimmung]

Whats that

 

[Eltrē]

Theres also other ways to experience ego death, like for example when you experience so much stress that your brain dissociates and if you spend lot of time dissociated you forgot who you are, this is brutal

i don't think i'll opt for that sort of ego death

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Specially if youre someone with an inflated sense of self and narcissist

Would you consider yourself narcissistic?

 

[1385]

Ego death breaks you, i went from almost normie to crazy brazilian rapist

 

[R@m@]

i don't think i'll opt for that sort of ego death

Yeah this way its more involuntary but I experienced aomething similar to this and it was brootal

 

[R@m@]

Would you consider yourself narcissistic?

Yes, I have an obsession with height and being athletic, an unhealthy obsession

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Yes, I have an obsession with height and being athletic, an unhealthy obsession

Maybe you just have an obsessive personality

Or perhaps thats just me being unconsciously narcy and coping because I also get extremely obsessed with things

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Yes, I have an obsession with height and being athletic, an unhealthy obsession

Tbh I perceive you as someone whose kinda depressed hopeless, but not very narcissistic.

Never seen you brag or putting someone else down in order to make yourself seem better. A very straight shooter

 

[R@m@]

Maybe you just have an obsessive personality

Or perhaps thats just me being unconsciously narcy and coping because I also get extremely obsessed with things

Just to give you an idea of my weird and irrational obsessions, I walk on my toes for a 1cm height boost and I believe being on my toes helps protecting my joints so I dont damage them and lose height, just how irrational it sounds jfl, these weird obsessions

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Just to give you an idea of my weird and irrational obsessions, I walk on my toes for a 1cm height boost and I believe being on my toes helps protecting my joints so I dont damage them and lose height, just how irrational it sounds jfl, these weird obsessions

Sounds more like ocd imo tbh.

Have you considered that to be a possibility?
I think a narcissist would be much more likely to delude themselves in to believing theyre taller than developing irrational fears of getting shorter

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Just to give you an idea of my weird and irrational obsessions, I walk on my toes for a 1cm height boost and I believe being on my toes helps protecting my joints so I dont damage them and lose height, just how irrational it sounds jfl, these weird obsessions

Sounds more like ocd imo tbh.

Have you considered that to be a possibility?
I think a narcissist would be much more likely to delude themselves in to believing theyre taller than developing irrational fears of getting shorter

Or convincing themselves that their late growth spurt is right around the corner despite being like 35

 

[R@m@]

Sounds more like ocd imo tbh.

Have you considered that to be a possibility?
I think a narcissist would be much more likely to delude themselves in to believing theyre taller than developing irrational fears of getting shorter

I guess it could be a combination of both, imagine you walking on your toes so you believe it absorvs shock better and doesnt damages your joints so you dont become shorter jfl, completely irrational since we naturally walk on our heels

But yeah I also have a big ego about being taller than others it used to be worse now its better

 

[batman1997]

All humans need ego lol its necessary

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

I guess it could be a combination of both, imagine you walking on your toes so you believe it absorvs shock better and doesnt damages your joints so you dont become shorter jfl, completely irrational since we naturally walk on our heels

But yeah I also have a big ego about being taller than others it used to be worse now its better

Well, everyone has an ego ig. I cant really enter your mind so idk how big it is

But ik that most tallcels are grandiose as about it and get butthurt when someone around them is taller.
But with that said, I think most people have their "thing" that makes them feel threatened whenever its challenged

 

[R@m@]

Tbh I perceive you as someone whose kinda depressed hopeless, but not very narcissistic.

Never seen you brag or putting someone else down in order to make yourself seem better. A very straight shooter

Yeah when it comes to that Im a chill dude even irl

Im like a secret narcissist that likes to create scenarios in my mind but doesnt show off

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Yeah when it comes to that Im a chill dude even irl

Im like a secret narcissist that likes to create scenarios in my mind but doesnt show off

What kind of scenarios do you conjure in your head

 

[R@m@]

All humans need ego lol its necessary

True, if you have no ego youll become a homeless schizo

You want a balance between ego/inner child and that happens naturally as you age its called maturity

 

[R@m@]

What kind of scenarios do you conjure in your head

Height and athleticism are the things im most obsessed about and I imagine myself being taller than average and being more athletic than others

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Height and athleticism are the things im most obsessed about and I imagine myself being taller than average and being more athletic than others

And you taller and more athletic than others? Objectively?

 

[R@m@]

And you taller and more athletic than others? Objectively?

Im 6'1 so its above average in my country and athleticism yes Ive always been athletic and im obsessed about being faster or jumping higher than others, ive had this obsession about athleticism way before having the obsession about height

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

Im 6'1 so its above average in my country and athleticism yes Ive always been athletic and im obsessed about being faster or jumping higher than others, ive had this obsession about athleticism way before having the obsession about height

Do you spend a lot of time day dreaming about being superior to others in these aspects

 

[R@m@]

Do you spend a lot of time day dreaming about being superior to others in these aspects

When im around people the height obsession is always on the back of my mind

 

[Bitchwhipper2]

When im around people the height obsession is always on the back of my mind

Yea, thats kindof beyond the norm

Do you think its on the extent of being pathological? Or just an unusually strong personality trait

 

[mrdouchebag]

Just another form of cope to be honest.

 

[R@m@]

Yea, thats kindof beyond the norm

Do you think its on the extent of being pathological? Or just an unusually strong personality trait

Unusually strong personality trait

 

[twojei]

People keep romanticizing the idea of ego death but its actually a really hellish experience

Specially if youre someone with an inflated sense of self and narcissist

What does “ego death” mean to you, a non-dual experience? Observation, but not observer. Thoughts, but no thinker. And so on...

Or is it more like shedding layers of identity, such as thoughts that you thought constituted a permanent self (you), but which in reality do not come from you and they pop out of nowhere within your head-based on past conditioning?

Or seeing the process of how the idea of a self is being created?

 

[twojei]

Just another form of cope to be honest.

It might be, but these things can be very powerful to decrease suffering if the idea of a "central self" is seen through. For example, sometimes in meditation there can arise the recognition that there are thoughts that just appear out of nowhere within the mind. There was this weird experience I had where I could see how different thoughts represented different emotions talking, and I wasn't even thinking them, but that's the point... You can take this even further and see that the voice that is actually reading this is just another thought. There has never been someone in control of this process or what we call an "I", but evolution designed it as if there was.

This is all done for the sake of reducing suffering.