Bizygomatic
๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ข๐ก | ๐ข๐ข๐ข๐
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2025
- Posts
- 579
- Reputation
- 1,689
Since the start of this year, I've done nothing. My position is so bad that I am able to do nothing. Everyone can do something in their situation but I'm so tired of everything. Tired of trying and tired of disappointing myself.
Where to go? What to do? There is nothing.
I have talked to no one besides my parents. I can't even face them with respect in my eyes. They know I'm a loser. I failed. I'm going to repeat a grade for the first time in my life. I was a bright child throughout my life, nobody could have expected this, which is why it hurts me more, because I had self expectations.
I have missed an international trip, 2 holidays and 5 weddings. All because I don't want to show my descended acne ridden fat face. Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, Valentines, nothing celebrated. All gone and wasted by sitting in my room alone, doing nothing. A year of my 'precious' and 'fun' teen life wasted. A year that will never come back.
I don't want to go out in the sun, because of my acne. What have I done to fix it? Accutane, 12 laser sessions, skincare. They come back. They always do.
I've lost everything. I used to be somewhat good before, now, I don't have the courage to show myself anywhere. I have no friends, no one to talk to. All stopped talking to me, even though I never betrayed them and always helped them. My days going by rotting in one room. My entire family knows I failed a year and they look down on me. I don't blame them.
I don't want to LDAR but I'm also tired of trying.
For reference, I'm 16 and will turn 17 on the 7th of march. I have never kissed a girl, never held hands and am obviously a virgin. When I was a kid, I used to think that when I grow up and become a teen, I'll become a slayer and kiss a lot of girls. This is the exact thought I used to have. Look at me now. I also used to be at the top of my school, at studies and in sports. I failed every expectation I had of myself as a kid.
I have a sweet little brother, I feel bad that he has such an uncool brother. The most uncool one. He even asked me, "What do you even do, you just sit at home and sleep and use your laptop." I want to become a better person for him, but I feel like I'm still held back by something, and I don't know what that is.
I found about looksmaxing and the blackpill in 2022. If only I had taken risks and action then, I'd be in such a better place now. This makes me blame myself more because I knew about all this and still didn't take action.
The next session might start around May, what do I do till then? I legit have nothing to do. What do I do with my life? I really don't want to waste my life but the actions I'm taking (nothing) and the way I feel everything is leading me towards that, and I don't know how to stop or change it.
I'd really appreciate if you read this entire thing and tried to help me even though I'm not sure how. Try to be brutally honest too...
@shaneywaney69 @killyourselfASAP @Ekidona @unon @Sayori @Ghost Philosophy


