Every night I dream about never having been born

[Prøphet]

I was just a mistake between 2 people who hate each other to their core, and it’s like this disharmony was all reflected on to me, my childhood was hell, I have never not felt lonely or alienated in some way, whether by my family or fake friends or strangers, Every day I dream what if the condom worked or what if I had been an abortion, but nope, I’m here now, and slave to all these fucking attachments and now I have to try and do what I can with the absolute dogshit hand I was dealt, Istay in bed sleeping 12 hours a day because I’m afraid of trying, making an effort feels futile, even in the supposed prime age of my life I have the health of an 80 year old man, cant see shit my eyesight is so fucked cant even talk to people because they see my eyes and it freaks them out, and guess what I’m autistic too and I have panic attacks whenever I go out because of every time I got hurt in the past, also Im balding at 18 years old so I have to take medication that makes me want to do nothing and lay in bed even more, and I also need bimax because every time I shut my mouth I look like a chinless pufferfish, and Im on welfare with $0 to my name, I have no one to blame but myself, because I am inferior and I was not meant to be here, make no mistake I would never rope but the past few years I have been doing the bare minimum effort, giving up on myself, allowing the shame and loneliness and misery to envelope everything, I’m afraid there’s nothing left anymore but endless regret and cynicism at the comedy of it all.

 

[peathejew]

I was just a mistake between 2 people who hate each other to their core, and it’s like this disharmony was all reflected on to me, my childhood was hell, I have never not felt lonely or alienated in some way, whether by my family or fake friends or strangers, Every day I dream what if the condom worked or what if I had been an abortion, but nope, I’m here now, and slave to all these fucking attachments and now I have to try and do what I can with the absolute dogshit hand I was dealt, Istay in bed sleeping 12 hours a day because I’m afraid of trying, making an effort feels futile, even in the supposed prime age of my life I have the health of an 80 year old man, cant see shit my eyesight is so fucked cant even talk to people because they see my eyes and it freaks them out, and guess what I’m autistic too and I have panic attacks whenever I go out because of every time I got hurt in the past, also Im balding at 18 years old so I have to take medication that makes me want to do nothing and lay in bed even more, I have no one to blame but myself, because I am inferior and I was not meant to be here, make no mistake I would never rope but the past few years I have been doing the bare minimum effort, giving up on myself, allowing the shame and loneliness and misery to envelope everything, I’m afraid there’s nothing left anymore

This is one of the only post I didn’t DNR, I see ur story

 

[Prøphet]

All I do with my time is ruminate, ruminate over what my life could’ve been if I was anyone else, ruminate over all the mistakes I made, the people I cut off, I am so weighed down by sorrow and tragedy that I can’t recognize who I am anymore, I am a prisoner to my failures and I have nothing to look forward to because my shoulders are so heavy with tears, I can’t stand to even talk to people my age anymore because in them I only see everything I can’t have because of my nature, and I don’t even feel jealousy or envy anymore, all I feel is sorrow and emptiness. The chaos of the universe that picked on me to bear all of this, it’s absurd and crushing and cold and cruel and uncaring no matter how you try to warm it up.

 

[Prøphet]

Deep down when I peel away all the useful copes and platitudes that are necessary to my survival and effort, when I solely look at things as they are, I know I can never have the things I starve for. I don’t have a boogeyman or somebody to hate, I am just a casualty of percentiles and statistics, and that’s how it is. I wish I couldn’t think, because all I spend my thought on is how fucked up my life is, and it drags me down even deeper. My mind is a furious wave that drowns me in black ink and suffocates me. If I didn’t think so much about how useless everything I do is, maybe I would still be naive and hopeful, and maybe that would propel me into the sun like Icarus. But that’s not how I am, and it’s not who I am. I will never feel that bliss. I will always lock myself away from the hostile factors I was born into. All I inherited was anguish and hopelessness and bitter honesty look at how inferior I am and notice

 

[Marcusz]

brootal high inhib cortisol spiking post
Its never over stop coping and get ur shit together. You got it bro im rooting for u.

 

[IronMike]

Look at this grown ass man trying to get pity from other men!

 

[Luquier]

What Indeed waiting room feels like

 

[catnip]

I was just a mistake between 2 people who hate each other to their core, and it’s like this disharmony was all reflected on to me, my childhood was hell, I have never not felt lonely or alienated in some way, whether by my family or fake friends or strangers, Every day I dream what if the condom worked or what if I had been an abortion, but nope, I’m here now, and slave to all these fucking attachments and now I have to try and do what I can with the absolute dogshit hand I was dealt, Istay in bed sleeping 12 hours a day because I’m afraid of trying, making an effort feels futile, even in the supposed prime age of my life I have the health of an 80 year old man, cant see shit my eyesight is so fucked cant even talk to people because they see my eyes and it freaks them out, and guess what I’m autistic too and I have panic attacks whenever I go out because of every time I got hurt in the past, also Im balding at 18 years old so I have to take medication that makes me want to do nothing and lay in bed even more, and I also need bimax because every time I shut my mouth I look like a chinless pufferfish, and Im on welfare with $0 to my name, I have no one to blame but myself, because I am inferior and I was not meant to be here, make no mistake I would never rope but the past few years I have been doing the bare minimum effort, giving up on myself, allowing the shame and loneliness and misery to envelope everything, I’m afraid there’s nothing left anymore but endless regret and cynicism at the comedy of it all.

Ovrr

 

[trenbolone8883]

I was just a mistake between 2 people who hate each other to their core, and it’s like this disharmony was all reflected on to me, my childhood was hell, I have never not felt lonely or alienated in some way, whether by my family or fake friends or strangers, Every day I dream what if the condom worked or what if I had been an abortion, but nope, I’m here now, and slave to all these fucking attachments and now I have to try and do what I can with the absolute dogshit hand I was dealt, Istay in bed sleeping 12 hours a day because I’m afraid of trying, making an effort feels futile, even in the supposed prime age of my life I have the health of an 80 year old man, cant see shit my eyesight is so fucked cant even talk to people because they see my eyes and it freaks them out, and guess what I’m autistic too and I have panic attacks whenever I go out because of every time I got hurt in the past, also Im balding at 18 years old so I have to take medication that makes me want to do nothing and lay in bed even more, and I also need bimax because every time I shut my mouth I look like a chinless pufferfish, and Im on welfare with $0 to my name, I have no one to blame but myself, because I am inferior and I was not meant to be here, make no mistake I would never rope but the past few years I have been doing the bare minimum effort, giving up on myself, allowing the shame and loneliness and misery to envelope everything, I’m afraid there’s nothing left anymore but endless regret and cynicism at the comedy of it all.

if u dm me ur life will change no money to pay just dm me

 

[unknownincel]

dnr.

but you have my sympathies

 

[iblameocclusalcant]

dnr.

but you have my sympathies

What do you think about BBC cuckposting ?

 

[unknownincel]

What do you think about BBC cuckposting ?

what?

 

[iblameocclusalcant]

what?

You heard me.

 

[Prøphet]

if u dm me ur life will change no money to pay just dm me

Wdym

 

[Whiteboard7]

I was just a mistake between 2 people who hate each other to their core, and it’s like this disharmony was all reflected on to me, my childhood was hell, I have never not felt lonely or alienated in some way, whether by my family or fake friends or strangers, Every day I dream what if the condom worked or what if I had been an abortion, but nope, I’m here now, and slave to all these fucking attachments and now I have to try and do what I can with the absolute dogshit hand I was dealt, Istay in bed sleeping 12 hours a day because I’m afraid of trying, making an effort feels futile, even in the supposed prime age of my life I have the health of an 80 year old man, cant see shit my eyesight is so fucked cant even talk to people because they see my eyes and it freaks them out, and guess what I’m autistic too and I have panic attacks whenever I go out because of every time I got hurt in the past, also Im balding at 18 years old so I have to take medication that makes me want to do nothing and lay in bed even more, and I also need bimax because every time I shut my mouth I look like a chinless pufferfish, and Im on welfare with $0 to my name, I have no one to blame but myself, because I am inferior and I was not meant to be here, make no mistake I would never rope but the past few years I have been doing the bare minimum effort, giving up on myself, allowing the shame and loneliness and misery to envelope everything, I’m afraid there’s nothing left anymore but endless regret and cynicism at the comedy of it all.

Sorry to hear what you're going through brah. This life is up to you and only you. You have to be the difference maker bhai. Much love