Everyday, always the same principal.

Poisonpunk3

Poisonpunk3

Hypocrisy is man's best weapon and worst foe.
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Jun 20, 2024
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This isn't long, so please don't "DNR":

For a lengthier amount of time now, breathing, for me, is like running a broken cassette. The record doesn't even skip, it's stuck on playback. I wake up, get myself ready, work/study, come back, eat, rot, go sleep and all over again. The "nothing ever happens" joke is perfect for such cases, politically, but also personally. I was already happy by helping one, not because of the deed itself, but because for a moment, a new tune has roamed and hit my ears. Like the flow of the ocean, just without wind. But life passing on by me, leaving me behind isn't my problem, no. My problem is that life "moves on", and I'm aware of it.


Most of us are simple background noises, but they don't aknowledge this. I'm aware of what's happening, and even more maddening is the fact that I can't control it. It's circumstance. I was meant for this, born for this. Chad was meant for opportunity, not me. This is painful, and I can't bear much and any of this anymore. It stings, that my most important developmental years were forced away from my being and thrown in a fucking cage, and the key has already melted. I can't do anything about it, I'm forced to watch, I'm forced to blame myself. I try to manipulate my conscious into believing that I'm not at fault, but the media feeds me something else, and hell, I'm hooked. I don't want this to go on, I'm full on thoughts, I think I'm gonna vomit.

:kys:
 
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bump
 
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dnr bro… dnr
 
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This isn't long, so please don't "DNR":

For a lengthier amount of time now, breathing, for me, is like running a broken cassette. The record doesn't even skip, it's stuck on playback. I wake up, get myself ready, work/study, come back, eat, rot, go sleep and all over again. The "nothing ever happens" joke is perfect for such cases, politically, but also personally. I was already happy by helping one, not because of the deed itself, but because for a moment, a new tune has roamed and hit my ears. Like the flow of the ocean, just without wind. But life passing on by me, leaving me behind isn't my problem, no. My problem is that life "moves on", and I'm aware of it.


Most of us are simple background noises, but they don't aknowledge this. I'm aware of what's happening, and even more maddening is the fact that I can't control it. It's circumstance. I was meant for this, born for this. Chad was meant for opportunity, not me. This is painful, and I can't bear much and any of this anymore. It stings, that my most important developmental years were forced away from my being and thrown in a fucking cage, and the key has already melted. I can't do anything about it, I'm forced to watch, I'm forced to blame myself. I try to manipulate my conscious into believing that I'm not at fault, but the media feeds me something else, and hell, I'm hooked. I don't want this to go on, I'm full on thoughts, I think I'm gonna vomit.

:kys:

I’m student too. My day is waking up, going to school, I don’t relate to the people there. At home I try to do homework, learning for exams… but during the time I fell asleep. Waking up trying again, that it self repeat couple times. Until evening where I watch porn, tv and drink Alkohol.

My best friends date girls, get experience but I feel left behind on the treck. Just miserable
 
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You just have to accept it and not dwell on it too much. Not all of us are meant to be "main characters," and that's okay.
 
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It stings, that my most important developmental years were forced away from my being and thrown in a fucking cage, and the key has already melted.
1750064182154
 
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the most enticing part of my day is the one where I go purging LOL, otherwise I do the same bs, with the difference i can't go out
 
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