everyday feels like a repetitive loop

[Deleted member 15343]

Haven't gone out many times since lockdown shit began but I think there is something fucked up, all my thoughts repetitive, intrusive, I compulsively do things I don't/shouldn't want to be doing, everything feels like a spiral and I can't do anything. Anytime I try to go against the grain I feel this extreme sense of resistance and then immediately relapse to the "flow" of incorrect wiring

I don't know what is right and the truth and find logical loopholes in everything and can't make the perfect framework with no cognitive dissonance

My worldview is distorted and things don't make any sense, all my thoughts are loose ends and end up contradicting each other and my mind is insanely cluttered with rubbish
I have a notepad where I tend to write a lot of things I feel I need to remember hence I can observe this
A lot of the shit I write and read back sound like the tales of a legit deranged schizo

It's like I'm a fucking robot with 10% free will.

keep doing the same things over and over.. my mind is racing all the time and I don't remember most of it moments later hence the dissonance, the loose ends some times get tied when I get this elusive "aha" satisfaction but as I said nothing lasts
I keep pacing around the house thinking random shit at midnight, I wake up at 3pm, sleep at 6am

What the hell is wrong with me? Is this the side effect of extreme social isolation?

 

[sensen]

Haven't gone out many times since lockdown shit began but I think there is something fucked up, all my thoughts repetitive, intrusive, I compulsively do things I don't/shouldn't want to be doing, everything feels like a spiral and I can't do anything. Anytime I try to go against the grain I feel this extreme sense of resistance and then immediately relapse to the "flow" of incorrect wiring

I don't know what is right and the truth and find logical loopholes in everything and can't make the perfect framework with no cognitive dissonance

My worldview is distorted and things don't make any sense, all my thoughts are loose ends and end up contradicting each other and my mind is insanely cluttered with rubbish
I have a notepad where I tend to write a lot of things I feel I need to remember hence I can observe this
A lot of the shit I write and read back sound like the tales of a legit deranged schizo

It's like I'm a fucking robot with 10% free will.

keep doing the same things over and over.. my mind is racing all the time and I don't remember most of it moments later hence the dissonance, the loose ends some times get tied when I get this elusive "aha" satisfaction but as I said nothing lasts

What the hell is wrong with me? Is this the side effect of extreme social isolation?

Sounds like a mix of fucked up dopamine receptors and POSSIBLY OCD.
I have OCD and this sounds very relatable.

You should try to get back out into the world, maybe see a therapist if you can

 

[Deleted member 15343]

Sounds like a mix of fucked up dopamine receptors and POSSIBLY OCD.
I have OCD and this sounds very relatable.

You should try to get back out into the world, maybe see a therapist if you can

shit it actually makes perfect sense now that I think about it, my super odd childhood behaviours, BDD, ending up here, what I'm doing now and a lot of other things

Any supplements or something you know which could help?

 

[Deleted member 6423]

shit it actually makes perfect sense now that I think about it, my super odd childhood behaviours, BDD, ending up here, what I'm doing now and a lot of other things

Any supplements or something you know which could help?

watch dr K’s video on dopamine detoxing on youtube

 

[sensen]

shit it actually makes perfect sense now that I think about it, my super odd childhood behaviours, BDD, ending up here, what I'm doing now and a lot of other things

Any supplements or something you know which could help?

Many people here have a lot of mental illness and very little self awareness. I'm one of them.

I am not doing as good as i wish with ocd so im not the one to ask. The only thing that helps me is getting out, beign around people and laying off the internet.

 

[ElySioNs]

 

[delta7]

How lean are you?

 

[Deleted member 15343]

How lean are you?

not, lol

 

[delta7]

not, lol

Life starts at 10 % body fat

 

[Deleted member 15343]

Life starts at 10 % body fat

Based as fuck

 

[Deleted member 14543]

A lot of the shit I write and read back sound like the tales of a legit deranged schizo

can you elaborate on this or show an example so we can understand what u mean

 

[Deleted member 14543]

also,

 

[WideZygos]

Haven't gone out many times since lockdown shit began but I think there is something fucked up, all my thoughts repetitive, intrusive, I compulsively do things I don't/shouldn't want to be doing, everything feels like a spiral and I can't do anything. Anytime I try to go against the grain I feel this extreme sense of resistance and then immediately relapse to the "flow" of incorrect wiring

I don't know what is right and the truth and find logical loopholes in everything and can't make the perfect framework with no cognitive dissonance

My worldview is distorted and things don't make any sense, all my thoughts are loose ends and end up contradicting each other and my mind is insanely cluttered with rubbish
I have a notepad where I tend to write a lot of things I feel I need to remember hence I can observe this
A lot of the shit I write and read back sound like the tales of a legit deranged schizo

It's like I'm a fucking robot with 10% free will.

keep doing the same things over and over.. my mind is racing all the time and I don't remember most of it moments later hence the dissonance, the loose ends some times get tied when I get this elusive "aha" satisfaction but as I said nothing lasts
I keep pacing around the house thinking random shit at midnight, I wake up at 3pm, sleep at 6am

What the hell is wrong with me? Is this the side effect of extreme social isolation?

Mucuna puriens or Adrafinil/Modafinil will be extremly beneficial, watch Andrew hubermans Video on dopamine, Trust me it will change the way you approach things

 

[Deleted member 15343]

Mucuna puriens or Adrafinil/Modafinil will be extremly beneficial, watch Andrew hubermans Video on dopamine, Trust me it will change the way you approach things

I already use modafinil on/off tbh, can't tell if it made a difference

 

[WideZygos]

I already use modafinil on/off tbh, can't tell if it made a difference

Where did you get it from?, might be fake/laced it works very well for me

 

[Deleted member 15343]

Where did you get it from?, might be fake/laced it works very well for me

generic modalert

 

[Chadeep]

 

[Deleted member 15343]

View attachment 1357080

lol link video

 

[Jason Voorhees]

Relatable

 

[Chadeep]

lol link video

 

[Deleted member 15343]

Relatable

how does this manifest in ur case

 

[Jason Voorhees]

Haven't gone out many times since lockdown shit began but I think there is something fucked up, all my thoughts repetitive, intrusive,

I keep pacing around the house thinking random shit at midnight, I wake up at 3pm, sleep at 6am

It's like I'm a fucking robot with 10% free will.

All of this and fear of failing with
stress. Didn't study today and rotted the entire day. Watching movies and LDARing on this forum. Felt too dull and bored.

how does this manifest in ur case

 

[Deleted member 15343]

All of this and fear of failing with
stress. Didn't study today and rotted the entire day. Watching movies and LDARing on this forum. Felt too dull and bored.

can you think of a solution that might work?

 

[Jason Voorhees]

can you think of a solution that might work?

Idk tbh What works for u? I usually take short but frequent breaks while studying to maintain my sanity

 

[nidus]

i feel the same way, everything i do at school and home is just the same every single day. looksmaxxing is one of the things i do to break the cycle