EdgyFashionist
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FOR DNR RETARDS
My friend was so awful at sex that his gf made fun out of his dick next to him
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Idk if some of you even remember me or my previous shitty threads, but in a short story I tend to hangout with retards and most of my friends are subhuman iq gymcels.
So back then I used to play 8ball regularly in local bars/game rooms and I got idea to make some sort of group that will go with me there, so we could train regularly and become better because I always were bringing random friends that never played before or I were going alone. Since all my good friends lives far away from me then I decided to take some retards from gym, my gf and her best friend.
Introducing my gymcel friends to my gf's friend
Generally that wasn't a good idea cuz all of them were awful at playing and only my gf was somehow decent. They were so bad at it that I literally thought they would kill themselves with that stick, but that ain't important part, important part is my gf's best friend. She immediately got attention from both of those dudes from gym. One is khhv 22yo sub5 dude and other is just tall mtn. For the whole time they tried to "flirt" with her. My gf catched that and she know how to use simps so she proposed that it would be really nice that they will pay for our game "since you guys know, men usually pay for their girls" but both of them are brokecels so everyone had to pay for themselves
.
After some time that bestie decided to go out with that tallcel but she was too scared to ask him out so I messaged that nigga and told him whole situation and told him to ask her out (cuz he fell in love with her), but that fucking retad was too high inhibit to ask her out LITERALLY 100% SUCCESS CHANCE. He managed to ask her out 2 days later and then they went to some park or cafe or some shit.
Another retard larping as slayer
At the next week he told me that he had over 7 girls and 15 sexual partners in total and he is wonderful at sex and I was like
Next week so they were together for like 2 weeks that dude asked me the most dumbest fucking question that sane human can possibly ask. With dead serious eyes he asked me if I can fucking lend him my room for one night so he can slay her (if some of you remember my previous posts then you guys will know that I live with 2 other people). I told him "dude... there's other people at my apartment, why won't you do that in your house or in the car or even at her place wtf" and basically he was too high inhibit to do it when parents are at home or in the car because someone could see them
Even my gf was worried because her friend never had bf before and she will lose her virginity in first weeks of her first relationship ever. (Me and my gf were both virgins and we done that after 2-3 months of relationship). Her friend agree to his propose and they planned to do it anyway.
Dude deadass booked whole hotel room to just do that
Sexy time and making fun out of his dick
Okay and here's the most funniest and blackpilled part of the story. My gf was with me and she is constantly in contact with her bestie, so when we were both lying on the bed she got notification from bestie and told me that she's already done. I was curious what happend because my gf will obviously tell me everything. I could see her dissapointed face and she covered her mouth after few messages. I couldn't read messages cuz both of them speak in cyrylic and understand shit.
So basically she told me that he couldn't get erection for like 2 hours and after he managed to do that his dick was small. Since I felt bad for him I spew some copes like it was cold or he was stressed etc. But she told me that his dick size was 1/3 of size of her dildo. First my thought was that she is using some dragon dildo and her expectations are too high but she corrected me that she have regular size of like 18-19cm. Then we both sit in silence and were making fun of his dick.
Then comes the blackpilled part after few messages that bestie send voice message, and it was from her bf and he was just telling me something about gym (he knew I was with my gf). I was like hold on... wait... is that retard next to her? My gf said yes. So she is telling US about HIS small dick while he is literally next to him?? And my gf laughed and said haha yes. I was like nahhh what the hell
Days after
After that act her bestie was mad at him for 3 days straight cuz she was so hyped for that and she couldn't even get orgasm, what's worse she told us that she couldn't feel shit at all
What's worse is that my gf told me that her bestie could be pregnant because that retard bought too big condoms and it slipped off during sex and she noticed after he came
They were scared for damn whole week but pregnacy test showed nothing.
Also after few more days he told me personally that he will go somewhere far for summer job so he is worried that he will find better person and he will cheat on her or his gf will find someone and she will cheat on him. I jokingly said "if I were you I would only worry about the second one"
Later rest of group knew about that and without him knowing that we were making fun of him by giving him smaller/shorter things compared to us, like ordering him small portion of fries or giving him sawed-off shotgun while playing shooting games. yall got idea anyway.
My friend was so awful at sex that his gf made fun out of his dick next to him
-----
Idk if some of you even remember me or my previous shitty threads, but in a short story I tend to hangout with retards and most of my friends are subhuman iq gymcels.
So back then I used to play 8ball regularly in local bars/game rooms and I got idea to make some sort of group that will go with me there, so we could train regularly and become better because I always were bringing random friends that never played before or I were going alone. Since all my good friends lives far away from me then I decided to take some retards from gym, my gf and her best friend.
Introducing my gymcel friends to my gf's friend
Generally that wasn't a good idea cuz all of them were awful at playing and only my gf was somehow decent. They were so bad at it that I literally thought they would kill themselves with that stick, but that ain't important part, important part is my gf's best friend. She immediately got attention from both of those dudes from gym. One is khhv 22yo sub5 dude and other is just tall mtn. For the whole time they tried to "flirt" with her. My gf catched that and she know how to use simps so she proposed that it would be really nice that they will pay for our game "since you guys know, men usually pay for their girls" but both of them are brokecels so everyone had to pay for themselves
.After some time that bestie decided to go out with that tallcel but she was too scared to ask him out so I messaged that nigga and told him whole situation and told him to ask her out (cuz he fell in love with her), but that fucking retad was too high inhibit to ask her out LITERALLY 100% SUCCESS CHANCE. He managed to ask her out 2 days later and then they went to some park or cafe or some shit.
Another retard larping as slayer
At the next week he told me that he had over 7 girls and 15 sexual partners in total and he is wonderful at sex and I was like
Next week so they were together for like 2 weeks that dude asked me the most dumbest fucking question that sane human can possibly ask. With dead serious eyes he asked me if I can fucking lend him my room for one night so he can slay her (if some of you remember my previous posts then you guys will know that I live with 2 other people). I told him "dude... there's other people at my apartment, why won't you do that in your house or in the car or even at her place wtf" and basically he was too high inhibit to do it when parents are at home or in the car because someone could see them
Even my gf was worried because her friend never had bf before and she will lose her virginity in first weeks of her first relationship ever. (Me and my gf were both virgins and we done that after 2-3 months of relationship). Her friend agree to his propose and they planned to do it anyway.
Dude deadass booked whole hotel room to just do that
Sexy time and making fun out of his dick
Okay and here's the most funniest and blackpilled part of the story. My gf was with me and she is constantly in contact with her bestie, so when we were both lying on the bed she got notification from bestie and told me that she's already done. I was curious what happend because my gf will obviously tell me everything. I could see her dissapointed face and she covered her mouth after few messages. I couldn't read messages cuz both of them speak in cyrylic and understand shit.
So basically she told me that he couldn't get erection for like 2 hours and after he managed to do that his dick was small. Since I felt bad for him I spew some copes like it was cold or he was stressed etc. But she told me that his dick size was 1/3 of size of her dildo. First my thought was that she is using some dragon dildo and her expectations are too high but she corrected me that she have regular size of like 18-19cm. Then we both sit in silence and were making fun of his dick
.Then comes the blackpilled part after few messages that bestie send voice message, and it was from her bf and he was just telling me something about gym (he knew I was with my gf). I was like hold on... wait... is that retard next to her? My gf said yes. So she is telling US about HIS small dick while he is literally next to him?? And my gf laughed and said haha yes. I was like nahhh what the hell
Days after
After that act her bestie was mad at him for 3 days straight cuz she was so hyped for that and she couldn't even get orgasm, what's worse she told us that she couldn't feel shit at all
What's worse is that my gf told me that her bestie could be pregnant because that retard bought too big condoms and it slipped off during sex and she noticed after he came
They were scared for damn whole week but pregnacy test showed nothing.
Also after few more days he told me personally that he will go somewhere far for summer job so he is worried that he will find better person and he will cheat on her or his gf will find someone and she will cheat on him. I jokingly said "if I were you I would only worry about the second one"
Later rest of group knew about that and without him knowing that we were making fun of him by giving him smaller/shorter things compared to us, like ordering him small portion of fries or giving him sawed-off shotgun while playing shooting games. yall got idea anyway.
