Ex wife left for AP and returned after 10years and asks to take her back in my life

Deleted member 6997

Deleted member 6997

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Seeking advice on how to handle the situation

Me(34M), my exwife(35F) call her X, my neighbour(AP), my neighbour’s wife(37F)call her M.

Me and my wife married in 2009. We had our baby in 2010. In Nov,2010 While she was asleep, a message pooped on her phone and was a flirty message. I checked on her phone and it was from our neighbour. I went through every single message which included sexting, sharing nudes and even had planned meet- ups at hotels. This was going on from the first week into our marriage. I felt like my world crumbled in front of me. I took screenshots of every message and saved on my phone. Next day i contacted M and let her know about the affair. They were married for four years and had their first baby almost exact same time as we had ours. I confronted my wife and told her that i am going to give her divorce. She started crying and everything else but i didnot considered it. I also did paternity test on our child (son) because the affair timeline was same as conception date. After two days, when i come home from work, our baby was crying in our bed and X was nowhere to be seen. Then I found a letter of her telling that she did not loved me and she had left with AP and to not contact them. I knew this was coming but i didnt believed that a mother can leave her child (was about 6 months)alone and can run off with her lover. I then went to M’s house. She had recieved same letter by her husband. I felt sorry for her as she was going from postpartum depression, had her baby just a few months ago and was left alone. Also paternity test result came back and he was my son. I tried to contact X family but they also didnt know where she was and was shocked by her behaviour. Her father even said that if she ever came back she would not be allowed to enter their house. They basically disowned her. L was very supportive. She began coming to my home to watch kids and even breastfed both of them(her and mine). As time passed, we were like family. My son called her mom and had known only her as mom. We also decided to go on dates. We engaged a year later and married in 2013. We had our first child in 2015. We often discussed things about our exes and how we were often disrespected by them. We were happy family. In 2018, when my son accidentally saw a picture of my ex ( picture after birthso it included X me and him) so we decided to tell him that her birth mother X had died in car accident years ago and L took care of him since he was 6 months old.

FF two days ago, I recieved an anonymous email. I opened it and it read “ I want to see my son and want my family back. We are not divorced yet”. I knew it was X. I showed this to L. L started freaking out and asked me if i would take her back. I calmed her down and told her that she was an ugly past and i would never leave you. I would never take her back.

Now I am confused what to do? I will definitely not take her back but should I let her meet my son or not? Should I take my sons opportunity to have connection with her birth mother?
 
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It breaks your heart in two, to know she's been untrue
But oh what will you do? then she said to you
There's someone new we're through we're through
It's over it's over it's over
 
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didn't read, 90% of this forum have never seen a woman, wrong place to ask
 
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din red
 
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1604153453336
 
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Seeking advice on how to handle the situation

Me(34M), my exwife(35F) call her X, my neighbour(AP), my neighbour’s wife(37F)call her M.

Me and my wife married in 2009. We had our baby in 2010. In Nov,2010 While she was asleep, a message pooped on her phone and was a flirty message. I checked on her phone and it was from our neighbour. I went through every single message which included sexting, sharing nudes and even had planned meet- ups at hotels. This was going on from the first week into our marriage. I felt like my world crumbled in front of me. I took screenshots of every message and saved on my phone. Next day i contacted M and let her know about the affair. They were married for four years and had their first baby almost exact same time as we had ours. I confronted my wife and told her that i am going to give her divorce. She started crying and everything else but i didnot considered it. I also did paternity test on our child (son) because the affair timeline was same as conception date. After two days, when i come home from work, our baby was crying in our bed and X was nowhere to be seen. Then I found a letter of her telling that she did not loved me and she had left with AP and to not contact them. I knew this was coming but i didnt believed that a mother can leave her child (was about 6 months)alone and can run off with her lover. I then went to M’s house. She had recieved same letter by her husband. I felt sorry for her as she was going from postpartum depression, had her baby just a few months ago and was left alone. Also paternity test result came back and he was my son. I tried to contact X family but they also didnt know where she was and was shocked by her behaviour. Her father even said that if she ever came back she would not be allowed to enter their house. They basically disowned her. L was very supportive. She began coming to my home to watch kids and even breastfed both of them(her and mine). As time passed, we were like family. My son called her mom and had known only her as mom. We also decided to go on dates. We engaged a year later and married in 2013. We had our first child in 2015. We often discussed things about our exes and how we were often disrespected by them. We were happy family. In 2018, when my son accidentally saw a picture of my ex ( picture after birthso it included X me and him) so we decided to tell him that her birth mother X had died in car accident years ago and L took care of him since he was 6 months old.

FF two days ago, I recieved an anonymous email. I opened it and it read “ I want to see my son and want my family back. We are not divorced yet”. I knew it was X. I showed this to L. L started freaking out and asked me if i would take her back. I calmed her down and told her that she was an ugly past and i would never leave you. I would never take her back.

Now I am confused what to do? I will definitely not take her back but should I let her meet my son or not? Should I take my sons opportunity to have connection with her birth mother?

TL;DR?
 
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behead
 
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Very entertaining larp from Leddit
 
this is shit you don't need to think about doesn't take a genius to figure out the right course of action
 
this is shit you don't need to think about doesn't take a genius to figure out the right course of action
Elab
 
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