February 1, 2017

[jozsef316@gmail]

In Season 12, It's Always Sunny decided to grace us with a high-brow, prestige true-crime parody of Making a Murderer and The Jinx. Why? Because Maureen Ponderosa—Dennis’s horrifyingly expensive ex-wife—finally bit the dust.

Well, technically, she fell off a roof. Because she was transitioning into a cat.

The Evidence Against the Golden God​

The documentary short-film positions Dennis as a cold-blooded killer, which, honestly? Fair guess. Let's look at the facts presented by the "investigators":

• The Motive: Alimony. And the fact that she was actively meowing at him.
• The Defending Argument: Dennis claims she was just prancing on a roof like a feline and lost her footing.
• The Creep Factor: Dennis's dead-eyed, unblinking interviews that made Robert Durst look like a well-adjusted guy.

"An alliance? No, I don't have an 'alliance' with Mac. We are friends. He is my roommate. We share a room. He sleeps in one bed, I sleep in the other bed... I don't know what you're trying to get at. Are you recording this?"— A totally innocent, not-at-all-psychopathic Dennis Reynolds

Ultimately, the tape proves Dennis didn't push her—she just botched a leap from one roof to another because, despite the collar and the whiskers, she did not have nine lives.

Case closed. The Golden God remains untethered, and his rage knows no bounds.

 

[idontlikemyself6]

 

[jozsef316@gmail]

The Motive: Alimony. And the fact that she was actively meowing at him.