Endoplasmic82
Loverboy at Heart
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2023
- Posts
- 1,171
- Reputation
- 1,088
Right now I’m being investigated by my uni for allegations of “racism, xenophobia and religious hatred”, and it’s driving me nuts. No, not anything I allegedly said, had any bad intention at all, but I could be kicked out for it.
I’m in a very unsure period of my life, just finished second year at uni, and I’m scared of being kicked out. So if I am I’d have to do an apprenticeship, which I’d have to wait until 2027 for, which then again would take 2 years to qualify, plus it’s something I’d rather not do.
Not to mention, one thing that hit me hard is that a girl I used to speak to about 3/4 years ago (we always just had that bond, you know, where you are both attracted to each other but nothing ever happened), who to be honest, I should’ve gotten with, is doing well, just graduated and is looking at a promising career in her field.
She is such a lovely girl, and I messed it up. Being a clown, as per usual, I’d have had a gorgeous girl who is not a whore, but instead an amazing woman.
In which I don’t have any woman, let alone her, and she’s going on to do great things.
I feel so empty and alone and confused, I guarantee she hasn’t thought of my existence in years.
Feeling low, honestly suicidal. I hope this bs uni complaint gets cleared up and I can get back to grinding and working my ass off.
I’ve worked so hard, getting involved in as much as I can at uni, securing work experience in the field I want to get into, for what. To get kicked out for jokes made amongst friends, which we all consent to.
If I am kicked out I’ll have to move back home, dreading telling my dad, and I’m still signed up to a tenancy at my current uni house. I’ll have to leave this job I have (which is pretty good as a side to uni, in fact full time it’s decent too for a liveable wage), not to mention it’ll ruin my plans to be driving before I return home.
So not to mention my career path will be ruined, I’ll have no car (zero appeal) and no prospects, until at least another year, in which I’ll have to go back to college, and will finish my apprenticeship at aged 24, when the other people on my course will finish at aged 18.
I feel like I will be so far behind in life, and I am so desperate for love. I’ve never felt true love from a woman before, never been in a committed relationship. And so the prospect of obtaining a girl, like the one previously mentioned, will be impossible.
Feel like I might have ruined my life, and if it keeps getting worse I’ll just end it. But I don’t want this for my father, idk what to do. I’m a complete mess.
Right now I’m just smoking weed to deal with the stress.
Not to mention my hair is falling out (ordered minox and durasteride).
I just want love and a happy life
I’m in a very unsure period of my life, just finished second year at uni, and I’m scared of being kicked out. So if I am I’d have to do an apprenticeship, which I’d have to wait until 2027 for, which then again would take 2 years to qualify, plus it’s something I’d rather not do.
Not to mention, one thing that hit me hard is that a girl I used to speak to about 3/4 years ago (we always just had that bond, you know, where you are both attracted to each other but nothing ever happened), who to be honest, I should’ve gotten with, is doing well, just graduated and is looking at a promising career in her field.
She is such a lovely girl, and I messed it up. Being a clown, as per usual, I’d have had a gorgeous girl who is not a whore, but instead an amazing woman.
In which I don’t have any woman, let alone her, and she’s going on to do great things.
I feel so empty and alone and confused, I guarantee she hasn’t thought of my existence in years.
Feeling low, honestly suicidal. I hope this bs uni complaint gets cleared up and I can get back to grinding and working my ass off.
I’ve worked so hard, getting involved in as much as I can at uni, securing work experience in the field I want to get into, for what. To get kicked out for jokes made amongst friends, which we all consent to.
If I am kicked out I’ll have to move back home, dreading telling my dad, and I’m still signed up to a tenancy at my current uni house. I’ll have to leave this job I have (which is pretty good as a side to uni, in fact full time it’s decent too for a liveable wage), not to mention it’ll ruin my plans to be driving before I return home.
So not to mention my career path will be ruined, I’ll have no car (zero appeal) and no prospects, until at least another year, in which I’ll have to go back to college, and will finish my apprenticeship at aged 24, when the other people on my course will finish at aged 18.
I feel like I will be so far behind in life, and I am so desperate for love. I’ve never felt true love from a woman before, never been in a committed relationship. And so the prospect of obtaining a girl, like the one previously mentioned, will be impossible.
Feel like I might have ruined my life, and if it keeps getting worse I’ll just end it. But I don’t want this for my father, idk what to do. I’m a complete mess.
Right now I’m just smoking weed to deal with the stress.
Not to mention my hair is falling out (ordered minox and durasteride).
I just want love and a happy life
