Feeling awful during holidays

[fishcooasnodjodjdj]

I haven't gotten invited to any halloween parties and probably never will. I think this is due to me being painfully neurodivergent in nature. I've always been like this, but once I started high school I realized that since I for some reason look relatively nt I can hide my social awkwardness with confidence. The way I say things makes everything seem less awkward. However, that mask is starting to slip. I am losing friends and distancing myself slowly from others. I was thinking, if I genuinely don't enjoy social interaction now, then will I ever do so? All of my friends have done wrong to me. Some of them have ruined my chances with girls on purpose. Some girls have also done wrong to me.

This all carries into feeling sad around the holidays. All I can do during Christmas is listen to last christmas by Wham! and think about a better life that I don't have.

I hate how my brain works and this isn't really bp just a rant.

I was wondering if anyone else felt this way about social interaction and holidays or if it were just me. Thanks

 

[Kurdish_slayer]

I get that man. Social shit gets harder the more you think about it too. You’re not the only one feeling like that, holidays just make it worse. Keep doing your thing, you’ll find your balance eventually.