Felt hope and happiness for the first time in a while until my grandpa ruined it

[AscendantGalivanter]

For context I have no friends and struggle to connect or speak with people. I am on vacation with my grandpa and he is in a yacht club that meets everyday for several hours. The people in the club are of all ages and seem like pleasant people. Today I was watching a soccer/football match with my grandpa and some members of this club. I somehow manage to have a normal conversation with this one guy, something i haven't had in a while. After that we talked a bit more and it was very nice. I felt i could connect with him, again, something i haven't felt in a while. That night i felt like i made a friend, and i havent really had a friend or someone to talk to in a while so i felt very happy. This alone was probably the best day i had in the past 2 years of my life atleast. On our way back home my grandpa tells me in 2 days we go back home.
All my feelings of happiness went away that instant and all i could think of is just being alone on my room again just staring at the ceiling again. I literally had to hide my tears from him and am tearing up as i write this. I feel sick. I always knew i was lonely but i never imagined it was this bad, im almost in a state of shock. Making friends and having conversations isnt easy for me, and after I finally was able to connect with someone after being in social isolation for the past 3-4 years felt very comforting. I am objectively above average looking but Life still feels like its all letdowns.
My social skills are just the worst, and because i used to be ugly as a “kid” the way i was treated really destroyed my confidence. I just want to live a happy and full life but i dont think i can do it. Why dont i atleast have the bare minimum? Why cant i be a normal human? What do i do? Does anyone else feel the same? How can i heal?

 

[jozsef316@gmail]

fazekas grade I.

 

[zerosmv]

dnr

 

[mewzilla]

go to a therapist please
please please please please go to a therapist
or at the very least just think about it
its never over bro, you can always heal

 

[AscendantGalivanter]

fazekas grade I.

??

 

[Orion]

are you still in school bro?

 

[AscendantGalivanter]

are you still in school bro?

i graduated hs this year

 

[AscendantGalivanter]

go to a therapist please
please please please please go to a therapist
or at the very least just think about it
its never over bro, you can always heal

Honestly i would but i dont believe in this kind of stuff

 

[mewzilla]

Honestly i would but i dont believe in this kind of stuff

why not go

considering you went on vacation you should have the money, and if you decide you dont want to go after 5-6 sessions then you do you.
nobody other than a parent and your therapist has to know, and there's nothing shameful in going.
its more shameful than being a social reject and dying single at 45 due to not having any social skills.


if you dont try to do anything you'll continue the loop of misery and nothingness,
your choice tho.

 

[Orion]

thats unfortunate, hs is the best way to make friends and people you can rely on, because people in colleges and universities are usually antisocial asf and only focus on their studies which we cant really blame them for, im still in high school so i havent really experienced what its like to make friends outside of school, but i have made a few online through games who happened to live in my area and i hang out with them sometimes, if i were u i would consider doing a martial art to build confidence which could improve ur social skills by alot because ur working with partners and communicating, you can also make friends there

 

[thotdestroyter098]

Can you keep in touch with this person? Maybe get their Instagram or phone number and keep in contact. Sorry you are going through this.