BucketCrab
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“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Female Psychology I
INTRODUCTORY GUIDE
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Index
0. What is in this guide?Female Psychology I
INTRODUCTORY GUIDE
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Index
1. Assessing People
1.1 How to understand people
1.2 Dissonance Events
1.3 Layers of empathy
2. Male and Female
2.1 Are women illogical?
2.2 Shit tests
2.3 Why would a woman shit test you if she is into you?
2.4 Passing shit tests
3. Dark truths about sexuality
3.1 The illusion of monogamy
3.2 Whore or wife?
3.3 Whore AND wife
4. Female seduction
4.1 Indicators of interest
4.2 How do girls send signals?
4.3 List of common indicators of interest
5. Conclusion
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What is in this guide?
This guide contains musings over a variety of different topics concerning female psychology and behaviour. They may look disconected, but they're actually foundational knowledge necessary to understand the world women and girls live in, and the underlying reasons behind their behaviour.What is in this guide?
It is not a practical guide, so if your attention span isn't great, I would recommend you read something else: you are not going to find "10 dark tricks to manipulate people " or "5 unexpected things women adore " in this guide. You will need to put in some effort to understand what I'm saying here and apply it to your own life in your own way.
The human mind is an incredibly challenging thing to comprehend and we can mostly only make educated guesses as to what someone is going to do. Do not read this guide expecting to magically understand most of the girls and women you meet in your life.
This guide will mostly dispel useless factoids that are propagated in our society, with the aim of breaking your preconceived notions and allow you to operate smoothly and with greater intent and clarity in your everyday interactions with women. It will also try to help readers to understand some social intricacies that are connected to dealing with women.
It should be self-evident, but a chief point in all human interactions is that people are complex, unique individuals, who require a lot of thought to be thoroughly understood. It would be foolish to quickly assume a person will act a certain way just because they are a woman - rather, you must make an effort to truly think about her point of view on life + her life experience to understand her line of reasoning, her way of seeing the world, and ultimately the action she is going to take, consciously or not.
DISCLAIMER
Some people may interpret the advice in this guide as "redpill rhetoric" or "bluepill advice" and may be tempted to dismiss it
by employing some variation of "Chad can be autistic and still slay". I won't waste any precious time entertaining such comments,
but I still wish to stress that while it's true that women care about looks first and foremost, certain psychological aspects
also play their part in mate selection, and can be especially useful to escalate things or perceive potential partners, as well as lead
them to sleep with you when something is hindering her from doing so. Lastly, the information contained in this guide may
be useful to understand social situations and come out on top of many situations in your life, not just dating.
For what concerns dating, unattractive males will find this information pretty much useless since there will be no female interest to work with to begin with; still, this guide may shed some lights on some aspects of people that could come in handy in many realms of life.
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Chapter 1: Assessing People
1.1 - How to understand people
In matters of human behaviour, we can generally say that people TEND to follow certain principles. It therefore pays off to look for signs and interpet them according to patterns, rather than start off from a pre-made pattern and connect a person's action to said pattern. In other words, don't assume a rich girl said something because "all rich girls say things like that". Rather, analyze her as an individual human being and compare the results of your analysis to the rich girl stereotype and see if the stereotype may be helpful in predicting her behaviour.Some people may interpret the advice in this guide as "redpill rhetoric" or "bluepill advice" and may be tempted to dismiss it
by employing some variation of "Chad can be autistic and still slay". I won't waste any precious time entertaining such comments,
but I still wish to stress that while it's true that women care about looks first and foremost, certain psychological aspects
also play their part in mate selection, and can be especially useful to escalate things or perceive potential partners, as well as lead
them to sleep with you when something is hindering her from doing so. Lastly, the information contained in this guide may
be useful to understand social situations and come out on top of many situations in your life, not just dating.
For what concerns dating, unattractive males will find this information pretty much useless since there will be no female interest to work with to begin with; still, this guide may shed some lights on some aspects of people that could come in handy in many realms of life.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1: Assessing People
1.1 - How to understand people
Thinking of a pattern, and looking at people looking for clues that said pattern exists in them.
This doesn't work because you will adapt the FACTS to your THEORY.
Looking at people, and connecting clues to each other, slowly correcting your stance as new details are revealed over many different instances, deepening your understanding of said person over a long time, and only using stereotypes/pre-set patterns as extra guidance to look for new clues.
This works because you are adapting your THEORY to the FACTS.
1.2 - Dissonance Events
Empathy is the key to understanding others. Coupled with enough coldness to detach yourself from the state of mind you perceived in another person through empathy, it allows you to maneuver around them gracefully, and understand them without necessarily siding with them. You can them manipulate their emotional state and goad them towards actions that suit your preferred outcome in most situations, if you so wish. Seduction is, at its core, an act of emotional manipulation.
But how do we use empathy...?
Let's assume a person you're interested in (we will call this Person A) is quite simple for you to understand as of now. You mostly have a grasp on what this person values, what they like and dislike, and what they want out of life. You are feasibly sure you can predict most of their choices and words in most situations.
Then, something weird happens. Person A has just said or done something you think is strange, and that you have a hard time understanding. Maybe they said something you don't fully understand, or they acted in a wildly irrational manner... rest assured, there seems to often be some sort of twisted logic behind certain actions. The logic behind it may not be readily apparent, but it exists.
We will call this action or statement a Dissonance Event, i.e. an event significant enough that it shakes the pre-conceived ideas you had about that person, or people in general. A Dissonance Event may sound like a bad thing, but in actuality it is vital to deepening your understanding of a person, but it needs some proper mental work to be scrutinized closely enough to theorize on it.
1.3 - Layers of Empathy
A good way of looking at Dissonance Events would be through layers.
Each layer presents a series of questions you may ask yourself in order to comprehend a Dissonance Event and eventually connect it to other Dissonance Events to see a pattern, an explanation, a possible way forward. Once this has been formed, you may further compare it to certain pre-set patterns that people follow to further deepen your understanding.
Do NOT think about a pre-set pattern before you start analyzing a collection of Dissonance Events, because you WILL SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE. For example, if you think a girl is acting a certain way because she is a gold-digger, you will always interpret Dissonance Events under that light. Instead, collect the Dissonance Events and formulate independent hypotheses that will THEN be compared to pre-set patterns to seek more possible data to consider.
This minimizes the chances you're led astray by a bias. Look for personality/behavioural TRAITS that are indepedent from one another. Do not look for pre-conceived SETS OF TRAITS.
But how do we recognize said traits, you may ask? By asking ourselves questions.
Layer 1 - Practicality:
"What could she have gained from doing/saying that?"
"Who was she with when she did/said that? How does that influence her opinions and behaviour?"
"What was her emotional state when she did/said that? What caused that emotional state? How can I induce that emotional state again in a similar situation to benefit from this causal relationship?"
Layer 2 - Time:
"Has she done/said something similar in the past? How can I find out, who should I ask to know?"
"Is she likely to do/say something similar in the future? How can I try and understand her likelihood of her doing/saying that again?"
"What could lead her to not say/do something like this in the future? How can I subtly influence her in this respect?"
"What could lead her to do/say something similar in the future? How can I subtly influence her in this respect?"
Layer 3 - History:
"What are the deeper reasons a person in her situation could have for saying/doing something like that?
If I were in her shoes, fully and 100%, having been born as her, raised has her, having lived as long as her... would I have done something similar?
Why/Why not?
What could have stopped me from doing/saying something like that?
An experience? A person? A societal constraint? Someone's opinion?"
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Chapter 2: Male and Female
2.1 - Are women illogical?
We men often think women are "illogical". That they say, and do, things that "don't make sense". In truth, few women act in ways that don't make sense - it's just harder to detect what their goal is, because their logic is different from what we males consider logic.Chapter 2: Male and Female
2.1 - Are women illogical?
We will call the two types of Logic Direct and Indirect.
Direct Logic is the common way we envision logical thought: objective, predictable, quantifiable. It may be complex but it always follows the same rules.
Indirect Logic is what women commonly employ without directly thinking about it. It is a way of achieving a certain goal through indirect means. As such, what a girl says or does may appear illogical or incoherent, but there is an underlying logic that allows her to attempt to reach a certain goal through said words and/or actions. A typical example of this is the shit test; many men may think that it's a stupid, illogical thing to do.
Truth be told, women themselves often don't realize they're shit-testing someone: but the crux of the matter is that the process of shit testing is only superficially illogical, and it actually makes a lot of sense socially speaking.
2.2 - Shit tests
Although riddled with redpill fallacies and somewhat naive at times, this article https://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/ perfectly summarizes what a shit test is and why it exists.
"Why are they called shit tests? Well when somebody “gives you shit” and fucks with your head to see how you will react, what you are experiencing is typically a (series of) shit test(s). Everyone has been shit tested, gets shit tested and will continue to be shit tested; It’s an unavoidable part of human interaction.
We use shit tests to make value judgements about people, likewise they can be used to determine how people cope under pressure. The underlying mechanism of shit tests is to test your mettle. (...) the majority of people are concealing their true identity. Thus in order to make accurate deductions about the personalities around us, we challenge one another subtextually and draw conclusions about “what the other person is really like” when gauging their responses. Shit tests can be blatant or they can be covert, how they manifest depends upon the intent and personality of the individual employing the test. The sum potential combination of differing shit test scenarios is so vast that I cannot possibly give an example of each and every possible outcome in this article."
Shit testing is something women love to use, and they are so good at it that many of them use them without even noticing. Men and women generally both shit test for different goals and in different ways, but when a girl says or does something that seems strange to you, there is a fair chance she may be shit testing you or someone else.Women and girls are far more sensitive to social status fluctuations and are generally good at keeping theirs intact. This is the basis of the bluepill: women often say things to virtue signal, while they act in a different way. Others women, who are more callous, may employ shit tests out of pure sadism. It's therefore important that we categorize shit tests that are acceptable from those who are not. Not all shit tests are a sign of a devious mind, but an excess use of them may point at personality traits that generally belong to shitty people you should avoid.
2.3 - Why would a woman shit test you if she is into you?
Opinionated, outspoken and/or socially savvy girls and women tend to shit test relentlessly. Generally, the more confident a woman is, the more likely she is to shit test people. Women are also FAR more likely to shit test if they're in a group, especially if you're alone or if you're the only male around in that situation. One important thing to consider is that, generally speaking, women don't shit test men they are uninterested in - and many women can't help but show interest even when they shit test.
"Does this mean that I can just get really good at shit tests and slay as a LTN???": Girls and women do NOT care about how well you pass a shit test if they're not into you physically. Do not interpret this as a way to "ascend": shit tests are just another piece of the puzzle for what concerns neurotypicality and will never be enough to replace physical attractiveness. The majority of women will still fuck you even if you fail shit tests if they find you attractive enough; they will interpret you as being "cute and shy", in general. Still, it's an undeniable fact that a bit of social charm can be a very powerful weapon in the arsenal of any man. If she is into you physically and you gracefully sidestep all her shit tests, you appear even more attractive and can seal the deal with ease.
Barring psychotic women who enjoy being chased and may even flat out humiliate you publicly just to bask in the excitement of treating a man like shit and him them still chase her, when a woman shit tests you to show interest all she wants is for you to take part in this little silly game with her. It's a way to test how good you are socially, how interesting you can be, how well you react to unexpected situations. This type of "test" is not done with precision or intent; she's not keeping score of how many times you failed a shit test or how many times she shit tested you... but she will remember how your reaction made her feel.
Again, this isn't something that all women do. And it's not something that supersedes looks in any way. But if she is into you physically, a girl may sometimes employ shit tests of various nature in your interactions with her. It's simply a form of teasing that's not really different from how adolescents and pre-adolescents flirt with each other and show interest in each other.
Learn the rules of the game and play it well, even timid girls can sometimes enjoy this dance of teasing questions when you know where and when to stop.
2.4 - Passing shit tests
It's not easy to explain how to handle shit tests in written form since it's a social act, and social acts are difficult to theorize too strictly.
At its core you should just remember that it's a silly little game. Treat it as such. Wordplay, jokes, life experience, general culture and observational humor are all excellent tools that can help you pass a shit test.
"Passing" a shit test simply means getting out of the situation while looking:
- Dignified - This is the most important aspect: you should never show that you are constantly at the mercy of other people and that random remarks may destabilize you.
- Amused/Entertained - This is less important but also undeniably powerful: it shows that you're used to this type of game and that other people's attempts to play it are somewhat cute. It also shows that you're relaxed, and friendly in a sexy, non-servile way, which makes you interesting and fun to be around.
- an inconscious shit test on her part
- a consciously chosen sentence to shit test you voluntarily
- a genuine remark with no secondary aims
Let's see some of the many ways in which you may react to illustrate the point:
◆ You get defensive and ask ther to explain why she said something like that.
FAILURE on the "Dignified" part: you are grovelling for confirmation that you're not, in fact, shorter than your brother, or that it's not important to her.
FAILURE on the "Amused" part: you are literally at her mercy - a random remark made you redirect all your attention to her.
◆ You accept the remark by jestermaxxing: "Yeah he used to bully me all the time when we were kids".
FAILURE on the "Dignified" part: you are not making yourself any favours by paiting yourself in a pathetic light with so much ease. Although, accepting the remark is FAR BETTER than refusing it entirely.
SUCCESS on the "Amused" part: you're not destabilized by the remark, you heard it clearly and it does not bother you at all.
◆ You try to compensate by acting "alpha": "Yeah but I have the bigger cock".
FAILURE on the "Dignified" part: you look like an overcompensating tool that is way too eager to brag.
SUCCESS on the "Amused" part: you at least kept it somewhat funny and lighthearted.
◆ You coldly ignore the remark, not giving her the time of day. (It is important that she understands you ignored it willfully, and not cowardly!)
SUCCESS on the "Dignified" part: you are showing that her words have little control over you.
FAILURE on the "Amused" part: you lost a chance to show that you can handle this kind of verbal sparring without much hassle.
◆ You flip the situation with a well-timed joke, turning predator into prey. "Don't get your hopes up, he's already married".
-> you can be extra nasty here, if you want to. "...he's already married and she's way hotter than you". Do NOT do this with timid or insecure girls.
-> you can also expand this into a sexually-charged joke if you want to flirt a bit. "he's already married, but maybe I can arrange something for you...?"
-> there are endless possibilities to pivot a shit test into something else, if you're witty enough!
SUCCESS on the "Dignified" part: her comment didn't bother you at all, you accepted it and kept the conversation alive by building onto it.
SUCCESS on the "Amused" part: you let her know that you bite back verbally without second thought, and that you have a quick mind. if she wants to play this game with you, she better be prepared to risk something herself. That can be incredibly arousing to certain women who enjoy teasing and flirting like this.
Of course, all of this must sound natural and come to you spontaneously. But if you put yourself into many social situations with smart, linguistically apt people that tease and banter all the time, you will eventually develop sufficient social savviness to handle these exchanges successfully.
Just keep in mind that MALE banter is often a bit different; female shit tests are a completely different ordeal, so go out with females as much as you can.
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Chapter 3: Dark truths about sexuality
3.1 - The illusion of monogamy
Monogamy is intrinsecally antithetical to our biological imperatives; one-on-one relationships where both sides fully commit to the other are human-made constructs necessary to ensure families have a strong bedrock and thus society can flourish.Chapter 3: Dark truths about sexuality
3.1 - The illusion of monogamy
For what concerns sexuality, both men and women can and will feel attraction to people outside their LTR partner. Whether or not they act on said impulses comes down to each person’s personality, the situation they’re in (what’s her mood? Where is she? Who is she with? Where is her partner?) and the strength of said impulse.
Women are societally expected to be coy and modest – being a "slut" is frowned upon by society because women who embrace a non-monogamous lifestyle are a threat to paternity certainty. In other words, men want to marry modest women because that ensures their children are actually theirs, beyond any reasonable doubt.
Said expectation is not applied to men. While a man cannot know for sure if a child is his without a DNA test, a woman’s child is always her own. Thus a man with many partner is not shamed in the same way.
3.2 - Whore, or wife?
- As many sexual partners as possible (except if hideously ugly), with as little investment as possible, with a preference for more attractive partners.
- Certainty that the children he is raising are his.
The only way these two requirements can be fulfilled at the same time is if women are split into two groups: whores and wives.
Whores will exist to fulfill the first requirement; thus, they will have many sexual partners but won’t get commitment from any man, since he cannot be sure of paternity.
On the other hand, wives will exist to fulfill the second requirement; thus, they will have only one sexual partner but will get commitment from a man since he can be reasonably sure of paternity.
The perfect deal, for a man, is being able to fuck multiple whores and still having the benefit of a wife that can continue his lineage, giving him peace of mind. This has been the case for most of modern human society; if you had a job, you'd find a woman that had to marry you to survive, and at the same time prostitution was also commonplace and fairly accepted socially speaking.
Here is the dark part, though. This division of whores and wives is a big dumb lie.
Women cannot be split into two arbitrary categories: they are imperfect human beings with complex feelings. All women have a bit of a whore and a bit of a wife inside of them. Just like it is for men, women also crave variety and sexual stimulation, and they won’t stop needing it just because they’re in a relationship.
That means a woman that appears and presents as perfectly modest can still secretly crave sex with all of the men she is attracted to. It means that the mother of your children would happily fuck a man that’s 20 years younger if she could do it without repercussions. It means that your precious little girlfriend may sometimes fantasize about being fucked by four men at once. Plenty of women have a rape fetish, or enjoy being dominated, or ruthlessly dominating.
We always hear of fucked up male fetishes but women aren’t better at all.
Women won’t say that, of course. They may share that with their vibrator, with their girlfriends, or certain men. It is essential to accept this side of female nature with a clear mind: they’re simply as horny as we are. When we men are faced with a woman expressing a form of sexuality we’re uncomfortable with, our natural reaction is to dismiss them as a “whore”. And indeed, other women may shame that woman too, but that’s because they’re societally conditioned to do so: because of the male need for paternity certainty, almost all women want to appear as a Wife and not as a Whore. And an attractive woman may often be called a slut by less attractive women to "lower" her value to the eyes of men: they themselves know that modesty is a valuable trait in the eyes of men looking to marry.
But in truth, few women are 100% Wives or 100% Whores.
Most just need the right moment and the right people to show their Whore side. And this is something you can capitalize on...
3.3 - Whore AND wife
Not so much with women – for them, this very same process only truly applies when they are exposed to high quality men. Female fantasies can be as raunchy as men’s, but they won’t feel a strong pull to acting them out as often since men who satisfy female standards are rarer to come by.
Thus a girl that seems to be a “wife” can become a “whore” at the drop of a hat. Indeed, any “wife” also has “whore” thoughts. This is a very disheartening piece of information to learn for men because it devastates our certainty in being able to always ensure we will have paternity certainty. This is a dark side of female sexuality that society attempts to cover in many ways, but which undeniably is going to be here to stay.
Women also have to face some dark truths about male sexuality, but since society is still mostly dominated by men, they learn to cope with it far sooner than men. Us men instead are still shackled by the belief that our future wife has to be pure, or at least a slut only for us. That is a lie.
Women feel sexual impulses as often as men, the only ways in which their libido differs are as follows:
- Hypergamy: They only have eyes for the top tier men. Few women are sexually enticed by fucking an average man. But if we’re talking attractive high value men, then they’re just as horny as men.
- Practicality: Unlike men, women have to take into account a lot of variables in relation to sex. Some of these are the possibility of pregnancy, sexual assault, and social backlash for being considered “easy” or a “slut”.
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Chapter 4: Female seduction
4.1 - Indicators of interest
Redpill and Blackpill communities often talk about "IOIs", or "Indicators of interest". There is some truth to this idea, but we should try to separate signals that can be easily misinterpreted from signals that have a fair chance of being a way of showing genuine interest in you.Chapter 4: Female seduction
4.1 - Indicators of interest
The better you are at observing and understanding people, the better you will be at knowing if you aroused interest in a girl. If you are good enough, you will be able to sense it within a few minutes of meeting her. The brain's neural patterns that indicate physical attraction fire up almost instantly when you meet someone. In other words, a girl decides whether she'd fuck you based on your appearance within a very small time window from seeing you for the first time. Our brains have a specific section dedicated solely to gauging information from someone's face - this is a significant amount of resources that evolution has decided to devote solely to our ability to judge faces. It's even active in newborns, which is why studies have shown they prefer looking at conventionally beautiful people.
Girls and women may not initiate directly but they may help you create a situation that feels "natural" to let you shoulder the risk of rejection.
In other words, they attempt to make things super easy for you to proceed forward with them.
4.2 - How do girls send signals?
As I mentioned earlier, not all girls and women behave the same way.
Thus, it's possible that a girl is interested in you but won't show it right away for a plethora of reasons: maybe you intimidate her a bit, maybe she's insecure, maybe her boyfriend is around, maybe she's having a bad day or she feels ugly or she feels like this specific moment isn't suitable.
On the other hand, bold girls can be quite relentless in sending signals; other external factors such as the environment you're in, the people you're with, and even her ovulation cycle may influence how direct a girl is with her signals.
Regardless of each individual girl's feelings and situation, however, we can be reasonably sure that some actions are generally used to show interest and are fairly hard to misinterpret.
Still, it is important not to delude oneself: if you are looking for these signs you will end up noticing them when they aren't present. Keep your mind alert and see if these behaviours repeat themselves over many encounters and, above all, if she mostly does that with you or if it is a common way of socializing for her. For example, being very touchy-feely is a very strong indicator of interest, but it doesn't apply if the girl is like that with almost everyone.
4.3 - List of common indicators of interest
Here is a list of all the most common ways in which women and girls show their interest:
- Wanting to be around you (they make an effort to be there when they know you're there).
- Wanting to sit next to you in group settings.
- Reacting positively when they see you (smiling, looking straight at you, open body language).
- Staring at you when you speak to them, eyes wide open, with a pleased face (straight into your eyes).
- Touching you or finding excuses to touch you (this one is... massive, really. There is no way to misinterpret this, it's super obvious).
- Laughing at your jokes even when they suck (everyone knows this one, but it's very true).
- Never being seen in a shitty state (think about this girl; have you ever seen her in a truly disheveled state, or does she always seem to put effort into her appearance when she knows you will see her...?)
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Conclusion
This concludes the first chapter, which was constructed as a description of the surface of female-oriented psychological assessment for male benefit.Conclusion
This guide has provided some tools, but it's up to you to make these tools yours and to employ them with precision; this won't come easy, but social ability is a very practical skill that requires a lot of practice to grow and flourish. Do not be discouraged if you find it hard to use the information contained in this guide in your own life, since understanding people and predicting their behaviour is an exceedingly difficult task for anyone, and one in which even experts still have a lot of room for improvement no matter how experienced and capable they are.
Reflect deeply on the words you've just read and try to see where they may be applied in your own life, in your own interactions with the opposite sex. Slowly, you will begin connecting the points and eventually, things will start making more sense.
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What's next?
If this chapter garners some interest, the next one will be entirely devoted to the concept of the Female Gaze and how to capitalize on it.What's next?
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