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It’s me against my genetic destiny
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TLDR: Finasteride gives me bad mood swings and brain fog. But balding also harms me. Not sure what to do.
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So I first noticed at around 16 one day that there was a weird spot on my left temple that seemed to be disappearing. I thought nothing of it until it got worse and started to actually become noticeable.
At just 17, I noticed this spot getting worse, as well as overall loss of density on my sides, corners, and crown. I started freaking the fuck out losing my only saving Grace at such a young age, so I did what any true BPer would do and ordered some Finasteride
I started taking it in February, 0.25mg a day. I had some weird things with my dick, like watery jizz, going soft out of nowhere, etc, but I was in such denial that I wrote them all off as placebo. I kept taking it for about 3 months, and finally I decided to quit because I was starting to get itchy and sensitive nipples.
During the summer I met with a derm and she told me I wouldn’t have to worry about about going bald “for 10 years” and recommended minoxidil. I used topical min for a couple months but quit because it was making my heart feel funny when I was trying to fall asleep.
In September, I saw my hair density continuing to get fucked, so I started using topical finasteride (0.05%). I got mild side effects, like testicle ache and sometimes a weird feeling while pissing, but decided fuck it and continued.
I started worrying it wouldn’t be effective enough, so I dropped the topical and went back to oral finasteride. This time 1mg. The sexual sides have been a bit lighter, and weirdly I have no issues with gyno anymore, but I’ve noticed something very damning (the most important part):
I’ve noticed, when I’m on finasteride, I gradually start to get changes in my brain and mood. It’s so gradual that it’s actually hard to notice until I’m looking back.
What I’ve noticed is, about a couple months in to taking it, I start to get the wildest mood swings like I’ve never felt before. Like, I’ll feel extremely hopeless and in despair, and within 20 minutes sometimes feel great, and back and forth basically. I’m missing a stable sense of well-being/calm and am much more neurotic. I have far less resilience or tolerance to stress anymore, I’m just all over the place now.
I also do act like less of a man honestly. I begin to require reassurance from other people, and need to “vent” about things that never bothered me when I wasn’t on finasteride. The best way I can describe it is I don’t mentally feel like a dude, I feel more like I did when I was a child maybe.
The sexual side effects never bothered me, I was willing to trade in my dick to not be bald at 18 (not like I was gonna use it anyway). But the mental side effects are seriously real. I also noticed I’m really lacking clarity in my thoughts and feel kind of soulless. I just mentally feel very foggy and sometimes get confused, which I never have experienced before. I lost my passion and joy for the little things in life. I feel extremely serious and elderly.
I know a lot of these descriptions are hard to understand, but it’s like I don’t have the psyche of a man.
However, my hair has noticeably improved. Which is why I’m so polarized. I can continue to make myself feel worse, but at least not be a complete subhuman. Or let go and just become a bald freak. I don’t know what’s worse at this point.
Final note to anyone calling me a hypochondriac, you can check my post history and see I used to be extremely pro fin and actively in denial about my issues on this medication. I really wanted it to work as easily as I heard it does. But the truth is it’s really making my life harder. The question is if this is worse than being bald.
_________________________
So I first noticed at around 16 one day that there was a weird spot on my left temple that seemed to be disappearing. I thought nothing of it until it got worse and started to actually become noticeable.
At just 17, I noticed this spot getting worse, as well as overall loss of density on my sides, corners, and crown. I started freaking the fuck out losing my only saving Grace at such a young age, so I did what any true BPer would do and ordered some Finasteride
I started taking it in February, 0.25mg a day. I had some weird things with my dick, like watery jizz, going soft out of nowhere, etc, but I was in such denial that I wrote them all off as placebo. I kept taking it for about 3 months, and finally I decided to quit because I was starting to get itchy and sensitive nipples.
During the summer I met with a derm and she told me I wouldn’t have to worry about about going bald “for 10 years” and recommended minoxidil. I used topical min for a couple months but quit because it was making my heart feel funny when I was trying to fall asleep.
In September, I saw my hair density continuing to get fucked, so I started using topical finasteride (0.05%). I got mild side effects, like testicle ache and sometimes a weird feeling while pissing, but decided fuck it and continued.
I started worrying it wouldn’t be effective enough, so I dropped the topical and went back to oral finasteride. This time 1mg. The sexual sides have been a bit lighter, and weirdly I have no issues with gyno anymore, but I’ve noticed something very damning (the most important part):
I’ve noticed, when I’m on finasteride, I gradually start to get changes in my brain and mood. It’s so gradual that it’s actually hard to notice until I’m looking back.
What I’ve noticed is, about a couple months in to taking it, I start to get the wildest mood swings like I’ve never felt before. Like, I’ll feel extremely hopeless and in despair, and within 20 minutes sometimes feel great, and back and forth basically. I’m missing a stable sense of well-being/calm and am much more neurotic. I have far less resilience or tolerance to stress anymore, I’m just all over the place now.
I also do act like less of a man honestly. I begin to require reassurance from other people, and need to “vent” about things that never bothered me when I wasn’t on finasteride. The best way I can describe it is I don’t mentally feel like a dude, I feel more like I did when I was a child maybe.
The sexual side effects never bothered me, I was willing to trade in my dick to not be bald at 18 (not like I was gonna use it anyway). But the mental side effects are seriously real. I also noticed I’m really lacking clarity in my thoughts and feel kind of soulless. I just mentally feel very foggy and sometimes get confused, which I never have experienced before. I lost my passion and joy for the little things in life. I feel extremely serious and elderly.
I know a lot of these descriptions are hard to understand, but it’s like I don’t have the psyche of a man.
However, my hair has noticeably improved. Which is why I’m so polarized. I can continue to make myself feel worse, but at least not be a complete subhuman. Or let go and just become a bald freak. I don’t know what’s worse at this point.
Final note to anyone calling me a hypochondriac, you can check my post history and see I used to be extremely pro fin and actively in denial about my issues on this medication. I really wanted it to work as easily as I heard it does. But the truth is it’s really making my life harder. The question is if this is worse than being bald.
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