RecessedChinCel
Kraken
- Joined
- May 12, 2022
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I hooked up with an incel
Weird place to post this but I need people who share or have shared his mind set in the past to help me.
I’m a “conventionally attractive woman” so I inadvertently find myself in the “popular crowd.” Although, I’ve often felt like I didn’t belong for example a lot of my interest weren’t their interest and dating guys within that social circle is insufferable.
I met a guy recently. I thought he was great. He was super kind and share my love for conspiracy theories and the outdoors. My girl friends thought he was socially awkward and weird but I was able to connect with him just fine.
We had a party and I invited him. It was nice. He was socializing and making friends. We ended up making out all night and he crashed at my place. The next morning he freaked out on me saying it never should have happened. I was so confused because I thought he was as interested in me as I was in him.
A week later, he messaged me to meet up and he apologized and basically told me he was an incel. Making out with me was the furthest he had been with a girl. He feels socially isolated. He has a fear of being an outcast. He said he was an incel minus the extremes of racism and sexism. He just spends a lot of time in his head thinking the worst about himself.
I try to tell him I’ve felt that way too but I think it’s hard for him to comprehend that people have these thoughts all day long even the people he assumes have perfect lives. We all struggle and want to find where we belong. It’s sad because my guy friends were actually pretty welcoming but he has since isolated himself since the guys hung out without him but he was pretty new to the group and I don’t think it was anything intentionally. His mind won’t allow him to think otherwise.
Anyways, I’m not going to lie, my attraction to him diminished a little bit mostly because of the way he freaked out on me saying he wished he never kissed me but I want to be his friend. I also don’t think he even has the confidence to pursue me as a gf as he literally thinks he is unworthy and since he opened up to me, he’s been trying to push me away since I know things about him. It hurts me that he thinks that way. I want to be his friend and be supportive. How can I be that without patronizing him or make him feel friend-zoned or whatever else he might be feeling?
Weird place to post this but I need people who share or have shared his mind set in the past to help me.
I’m a “conventionally attractive woman” so I inadvertently find myself in the “popular crowd.” Although, I’ve often felt like I didn’t belong for example a lot of my interest weren’t their interest and dating guys within that social circle is insufferable.
I met a guy recently. I thought he was great. He was super kind and share my love for conspiracy theories and the outdoors. My girl friends thought he was socially awkward and weird but I was able to connect with him just fine.
We had a party and I invited him. It was nice. He was socializing and making friends. We ended up making out all night and he crashed at my place. The next morning he freaked out on me saying it never should have happened. I was so confused because I thought he was as interested in me as I was in him.
A week later, he messaged me to meet up and he apologized and basically told me he was an incel. Making out with me was the furthest he had been with a girl. He feels socially isolated. He has a fear of being an outcast. He said he was an incel minus the extremes of racism and sexism. He just spends a lot of time in his head thinking the worst about himself.
I try to tell him I’ve felt that way too but I think it’s hard for him to comprehend that people have these thoughts all day long even the people he assumes have perfect lives. We all struggle and want to find where we belong. It’s sad because my guy friends were actually pretty welcoming but he has since isolated himself since the guys hung out without him but he was pretty new to the group and I don’t think it was anything intentionally. His mind won’t allow him to think otherwise.
Anyways, I’m not going to lie, my attraction to him diminished a little bit mostly because of the way he freaked out on me saying he wished he never kissed me but I want to be his friend. I also don’t think he even has the confidence to pursue me as a gf as he literally thinks he is unworthy and since he opened up to me, he’s been trying to push me away since I know things about him. It hurts me that he thinks that way. I want to be his friend and be supportive. How can I be that without patronizing him or make him feel friend-zoned or whatever else he might be feeling?
@Erik-Jón
@Xangsane
@MarkCorrigan