for years i hoped I wouldn’t wake up, and die in my sleep

LowInhibNoSMV

LowInhibNoSMV

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for 2 years i woke up every morning
and literally prayed to God, asking
lord, why do i have to wake up?
i was severly bullied
from around 10 years old to 14
when I was 15 i started improving my looks
but something was still missing
now at 17 i know what it was
i saw myself as worthless
seeking all my validation from others
now im happy
and you could be too
 
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The problem is why you don't want to wake up to enjoy this incredible life?
 
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i still sometimes think i wouldnt mind it that much if i die in my sleep
how did you stop seeking external validation though?
its a biological survival mechanism, not something i can just get rid of, even though itd sure be nice to.
 
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I sometimes hope I die ina. Car crash or some shit when I’m in cars
 
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I sometimes hope I die ina. Car crash or some shit when I’m in cars
I no longer do
Really the switch was loving myself
In the phase before the switch happened
I had mood swings the entire day long
Am I right to assume its the same for you right now?
 
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I no longer do
Really the switch was loving myself
In the phase before the switch happened
I had mood swings the entire day long
Am I right to assume its the same for you right now?
Yeah exactly the same as me

My mood is completely different depending on the time it’s so fucked

How do u start to love urself tho nigfa

I’ve tried
 
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Yeah exactly the same as me

My mood is completely different depending on the time it’s so fucked

How do u start to love urself tho nigfa

I’ve tried
The thing that made it click for me was
I was on a class trip to berlin
my friends were doing other things with eachother having fun
I went alone into central berlin and got some weed
smoked 3 grams alone
threw up everywhere out of my nose and mouth
got chased by cops
phone battery dead
still made it back
layed on my bunk bed, sick as fuck, couldnt move
and none of my “friends”
gave a SINGULAR shit
0 shits
that made me realize
i dont need these fucking pussies
i need myself and im enough
they should be chasing me
and i started living like that
i started walking around like I belonged
like i owned the place
and suddenly, i couldn’t stop doing good for people who deserved it
like homeless people etc

suddenly, im getting non stop iois
why?
because i do what i want, love shines through me and so does confidence

I think that trip was for me the switch from boy to man
like the old indo-aryan initiation adventures 😂
 
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The thing that made it click for me was
I was on a class trip to berlin
my friends were doing other things with eachother having fun
I went alone into central berlin and got some weed
smoked 3 grams alone
threw up everywhere out of my nose and mouth
got chased by cops
phone battery dead
still made it back
layed on my bunk bed, sick as fuck, couldnt move
and none of my “friends”
gave a SINGULAR shit
0 shits
that made me realize
i dont need these fucking pussies
i need myself and im enough
they should be chasing me
and i started living like that
i started walking around like I belonged
like i owned the place
and suddenly, i couldn’t stop doing good for people who deserved it
like homeless people etc

suddenly, im getting non stop iois
why?
because i do what i want, love shines through me and so does confidence

I think that trip was for me the switch from boy to man
like the old indo-aryan initiation adventures 😂
I’m gonna try do the same man

I’ll try be a good person to ppl who deserve it too. Rn I don’t be talking to anyone

Thanks for the motivation bro :ogre:

Appreciate u
 
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I’m gonna try do the same man

I’ll try be a good person to ppl who deserve it too. Rn I don’t be talking to anyone

Thanks for the motivation bro :ogre:

Appreciate u
No problem
I hope you get into this mindset too
It’s like a different life
its worth living now
 
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Fighting back is always an option stop being scared of school rule
being fat, 12 years old with 0 friends and punched by 4 14 year olds isnt that fair of a fight
 

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