D
Deleted member 26642
Half caged
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2023
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Found out I’m not as attractive as I thought I was and it sent me into a severe BPD episode.
I stupidly uploaded a few pics of myself to a rate my appearance page and almost all the responses were “average”, “nothing special” and one even said that I’m ugly. I asked a couple trusted friends about this, and they said that while they don’t think I’m ugly and may even be a little above average, I’m not conventionally attractive. This devastated me as I had thought for a long time that I was very good looking and was even a solid 8 or 9.
The last 24 hrs have just been a severe downward spiral, and the anxiety and anger spread towards every aspect of my life - I thought about all the ways in which my friends had let me down and how they weren’t really my friends. I thought about how dating seemed hopeless with the new revelation, as there was no way to overcome the limitations of my less than perfect bone structure. I was filled with rage about how the small amount of self esteem I did have was just a mirage.
Today I avoided my roommates when they got home and bolted out the door to go on a fury and anxiety laden walk. I think I’m getting better now but I was in severe distress for a time over the comments that were made about my appearance.
I stupidly uploaded a few pics of myself to a rate my appearance page and almost all the responses were “average”, “nothing special” and one even said that I’m ugly. I asked a couple trusted friends about this, and they said that while they don’t think I’m ugly and may even be a little above average, I’m not conventionally attractive. This devastated me as I had thought for a long time that I was very good looking and was even a solid 8 or 9.
The last 24 hrs have just been a severe downward spiral, and the anxiety and anger spread towards every aspect of my life - I thought about all the ways in which my friends had let me down and how they weren’t really my friends. I thought about how dating seemed hopeless with the new revelation, as there was no way to overcome the limitations of my less than perfect bone structure. I was filled with rage about how the small amount of self esteem I did have was just a mirage.
Today I avoided my roommates when they got home and bolted out the door to go on a fury and anxiety laden walk. I think I’m getting better now but I was in severe distress for a time over the comments that were made about my appearance.
