Cicukomp
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2026
- Posts
- 50
- Reputation
- 27
Few months ago I realized that no softmax is ever gonna cut it, I will eventually have to hop on gear and take years off my life. The realization that its probably over and there is nothing that i can do about it if I don't have money is crushing and skin peeling. The other day i saw dude flexing his muscles on tiktok. He had perfect muscle insertions perfect bonestructure i looked at the comments and it was just women saying how good looking he is. I looked at my wide hips, flared ribs, 4 pack, high lat insertions, small frame and non connected pecs and cried on the spot. It hurts so much that someone can just wake up and not worry about any of this just because they won the genetic lottery. It hurts so fucking much words can’t even describe it. Looking at the mirror at 2 am trying to take a picture so that my hips or flared ribs can’t be seen and telling myself that it'sall gonna be fine. I hate everyone who was born with good eye area, fully developed orbitals. Do you even know how bad it is when I try to take a picture of my face and seeing those fuckass lines or taking picture of my side profile and my orbital vector is neutral and my face is flat. Sometimes I just think about ending everything trying to convince myself that there is reincarnation. I am always second place and I hate everyone who is geneticly good looking and they don't even realise it. I have pure hatred for them seeing them talking to girls going out with friend and then later reposting how lonely they are, they don't even know what I would do to live like that, instead I only have my brother and my Mother. My mom used to have 2 Jobs so that she could pay for my older brothers school. I used to be home alone till 23:00 sometimes even longer for my mom so that she won't be alone which completly fucked up my sleep schedule and became the shortest boy in my class I was in the midle of everything I had nothing to do with it i just wanted to live a normal life, I got worse grades and became socialy akward used to play games all day and all I got out of this is completly ruined life. They told me to respect them but who is going to respect me? I had nothing to do with this and still went throught it the most. I hate everyone.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
