RealSurgerymax
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A couple nights ago was my third full moon party in thailand.
I probabybly met a narcissistic closeted bi guy a week before, or maybe hes not even bi. South African, about 24, Cute to handsome, HTN. He had been coming into the bar and doing various activities with me, like going to parties together, leading me on somewhat subtly the whole time.
From the first moment I saw him I was attracted him, and my first words to him were "Do you have a boyfriend?" (it wasn't a gay bar) and he just laughed and said no and I responded something like "Well its a VERYYYYY lonely island....". We got talking a little bit more and that night he ended up in my bed, with one of his other friends, since we all needed a place to go do ketamine. He told me how he went to a threesome a straight Russian couple earlier that day, but backed out and left. I told him "I actually have a hot porn video bookmarked about that. We can watch it together." And said OK maybe but never committed. They ended up leaving together without anything ever happening.
He came into the bar a second time, and a third. He laid next to me for a few hours and talked to me while he played on his phone. I told him he has really hot feet, which he didn't have a *negative* reaction to. All of my tests would never return a definite confirmation that he was gay or bi. But he never took one as an opportunity to tell me he was straight and nothings gonna happen.
One night after we left our usual bar, we were walking past another and he said "There's a bar with 8 guys in it im sure 3 will fuck you." So I just asked him point blank "You won't?" Which he still wouldn't answer and changed the subject. While he went into 711 I just sat on the sidewalk and sulked for a few minutes over how bad I wanted him over the last few days but not knowing if it will ever happen. He came out and said he was ready to go to the next place and I told him I'm going home. I was obviously upset, and I think he was smart enough to know why.
I texted him in the morning "I wish got intimate last night" which he didnt respond to at all in text. He just texted me when and where to meet him at full moon party. Which I did. He was handsome. Got a haircut and everything. He took charge and had everything planned for us: Where we would go, who to buy good MDMA pills from, etc. He did a good job honestly...
While we were walking he said "I got your text. About how you want to be intimate. You need to trust me." I wasnt sure what exactly it meant, but it made me think he had something romantically planned. Maybe an hour later, when we HIGH AS FUCK dancing together he got to me and said "Tonights the first night I'm gonna be with another man." He said a lot of other things to me like "You can do anything you want with me." etc.
While the first few nights he kept wondering, I felt everything was confirmed and reconfirmed during full moon party. Until the end. At first everything shifted a little, he said he wants to have a threesome with me and this girl. I really didnt want to at all. I thought we would finally have an intimate time, just together. She ended up not wanting to because she wouldn't cheat on her boyfriend.
So it got the morning, everything's wrapping up, and I ask if he wants to come over, and he hesitates, stalls, and makes excuses. He acted like none of the things he did or said ever happened.
I'm not sure if he was actually thinking about it, but changed his mind, or if he was just using me for validation supply and that was one big narcissistic power play.
He did come over, momentarily. He unbuttoned his shirt and laid on my other bed. He wasn't shy about pissing in front of me where I could see his dick. But he also said he had to go. So I said "Ok bye." And he was like "Are you upset?" and I just said "Yes of course I am. You lead me on all night." He told me hes "just not ready to experiment with that" It was a small back and forth before he left. I'm not sure if that was the moment I was SUPPOSED to push him more, maybe as a self hating bi guy he didn't want to initiate? But I didn't want to push him. I didnt even come over to the bed he was laying on.
He texted after getting home "Hope youre good!" and I texted him a fairly long message about all this, how hurtful it was and how I don't understand the motive.
He didnt respond but I saw him lastnight in the street. He said "I appreciated your message" and I just kept walking and he yelled "Youre being a dick!"
A few hours later he texted me how I should have talked to him like an adult when I saw him in the street, and told me he has "always been 100% straight, has never been with a man and never will be, and ONLY likes vagina." and that he felt I pushed him too much. Um hello?????? I didn't push or initiate ANYTHING last night, he did. He was completely in the dominant role tbh, I was just waiting for him to make some move.
Wouldn't it have been a good time to say hes 100% straight the first few nights I made some sexual comments toward him instead of leaving it a "maybe", or even in the morning when he came over instead of saying "Im not ready."
I just dont know what to make of any of this. He really played with my emotions. Maybe he just liked the attention he was getting, and the power he had over me, but never really planned to follow through. Idk........
The full moon party was like an emotional roller coaster. High high, low low. I was devastated in the morning.
I probabybly met a narcissistic closeted bi guy a week before, or maybe hes not even bi. South African, about 24, Cute to handsome, HTN. He had been coming into the bar and doing various activities with me, like going to parties together, leading me on somewhat subtly the whole time.
From the first moment I saw him I was attracted him, and my first words to him were "Do you have a boyfriend?" (it wasn't a gay bar) and he just laughed and said no and I responded something like "Well its a VERYYYYY lonely island....". We got talking a little bit more and that night he ended up in my bed, with one of his other friends, since we all needed a place to go do ketamine. He told me how he went to a threesome a straight Russian couple earlier that day, but backed out and left. I told him "I actually have a hot porn video bookmarked about that. We can watch it together." And said OK maybe but never committed. They ended up leaving together without anything ever happening.
He came into the bar a second time, and a third. He laid next to me for a few hours and talked to me while he played on his phone. I told him he has really hot feet, which he didn't have a *negative* reaction to. All of my tests would never return a definite confirmation that he was gay or bi. But he never took one as an opportunity to tell me he was straight and nothings gonna happen.
One night after we left our usual bar, we were walking past another and he said "There's a bar with 8 guys in it im sure 3 will fuck you." So I just asked him point blank "You won't?" Which he still wouldn't answer and changed the subject. While he went into 711 I just sat on the sidewalk and sulked for a few minutes over how bad I wanted him over the last few days but not knowing if it will ever happen. He came out and said he was ready to go to the next place and I told him I'm going home. I was obviously upset, and I think he was smart enough to know why.
I texted him in the morning "I wish got intimate last night" which he didnt respond to at all in text. He just texted me when and where to meet him at full moon party. Which I did. He was handsome. Got a haircut and everything. He took charge and had everything planned for us: Where we would go, who to buy good MDMA pills from, etc. He did a good job honestly...
While we were walking he said "I got your text. About how you want to be intimate. You need to trust me." I wasnt sure what exactly it meant, but it made me think he had something romantically planned. Maybe an hour later, when we HIGH AS FUCK dancing together he got to me and said "Tonights the first night I'm gonna be with another man." He said a lot of other things to me like "You can do anything you want with me." etc.
While the first few nights he kept wondering, I felt everything was confirmed and reconfirmed during full moon party. Until the end. At first everything shifted a little, he said he wants to have a threesome with me and this girl. I really didnt want to at all. I thought we would finally have an intimate time, just together. She ended up not wanting to because she wouldn't cheat on her boyfriend.
So it got the morning, everything's wrapping up, and I ask if he wants to come over, and he hesitates, stalls, and makes excuses. He acted like none of the things he did or said ever happened.
I'm not sure if he was actually thinking about it, but changed his mind, or if he was just using me for validation supply and that was one big narcissistic power play.
He did come over, momentarily. He unbuttoned his shirt and laid on my other bed. He wasn't shy about pissing in front of me where I could see his dick. But he also said he had to go. So I said "Ok bye." And he was like "Are you upset?" and I just said "Yes of course I am. You lead me on all night." He told me hes "just not ready to experiment with that" It was a small back and forth before he left. I'm not sure if that was the moment I was SUPPOSED to push him more, maybe as a self hating bi guy he didn't want to initiate? But I didn't want to push him. I didnt even come over to the bed he was laying on.
He texted after getting home "Hope youre good!" and I texted him a fairly long message about all this, how hurtful it was and how I don't understand the motive.
He didnt respond but I saw him lastnight in the street. He said "I appreciated your message" and I just kept walking and he yelled "Youre being a dick!"
A few hours later he texted me how I should have talked to him like an adult when I saw him in the street, and told me he has "always been 100% straight, has never been with a man and never will be, and ONLY likes vagina." and that he felt I pushed him too much. Um hello?????? I didn't push or initiate ANYTHING last night, he did. He was completely in the dominant role tbh, I was just waiting for him to make some move.
Wouldn't it have been a good time to say hes 100% straight the first few nights I made some sexual comments toward him instead of leaving it a "maybe", or even in the morning when he came over instead of saying "Im not ready."
I just dont know what to make of any of this. He really played with my emotions. Maybe he just liked the attention he was getting, and the power he had over me, but never really planned to follow through. Idk........
The full moon party was like an emotional roller coaster. High high, low low. I was devastated in the morning.
Last edited:
️Angelica
