M
mulberry
Iron
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2026
- Posts
- 32
- Reputation
- 14
i already have a post about this but im genuinely going on an all new low, i cant do shit, i dont wanna do shit. I hate all the things that kept me happy before, i dont enjoy climbing, i dont enjoy hiking, i dont enjoy doing anything at all. im 16 with a lifeload of responsibilities, i have to do school on a top tier academic level, i have a whole ass fucking job to work so that i can help my mom pay the bills bcus my dad was a bumpilled dickhead who chose to ldar with alcohol instead of being a responsible adult and giving me a father to look up to. i had to take care of myself from as little as 4yo, take myself to kindergarden and feed myself aswell as hide from the sight of my dad when he came home so that i wouldnt get a beating just cus he wanted to do so. i developed with emotional issues that keep me from accepting that i should be happy because i know its a temporary feeling and it will just drain me, having a relationship with someone is also horrifying because of my emotions since i can act up and ruin everything in a matter of seconds, even so—relationships have all gone wrong for me resulting in selfharm aswell as putting me in a spot where i started hating the ones that cared for me. i spent everything on my last relationship, my time, my energy, my hard-earned money on this girl only for us to break up and her make idiotic tiktoks about our relationship saying i was horrible to her. i cant heal even with the help of therapy, ive been to a few therapists aswell as psychologists and they have been unable to help me, im allergic to anti depressants aswell and i just feel horrible—i am filled with hate for everything, everyone. I hate and hate, all i do is hate and cover it up because i dont want to hurt others—as if they had cared about me even once to begin with, no one does, no one wants to listen to me and here i am posting threads on here about it. I just really needed a place to vent so im glad i could do it here.
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