mogslop9000
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2025
- Posts
- 59
- Reputation
- 45
I’ve recently come to terms with just how bad I look, especially in comparison to the hundreds of men I see on the internet daily, whether it be physique wise or facially. I’m on a test/mast/primo and Reta cycle, locked in on training and diet for years, and yet I still don’t have an admirable or good physique. Lots of loose skin from growing up fat, and wide blocky waist among other things. I’m also just under 5’10, so I don’t even have height to fall back on. I look minimally better than most guys in my area, but I live in rural Midwest so it’s not like I have competition. I need work done, yet I can’t get a good enough paying job to afford to save. I’m already 21, and by the time I’d be able to get cosmetic enhancements, I’d at least be 23-24 and by then does it even matter? I rarely leave my house except to go to a shitass part time job, lift every night, or to get food. I don’t have any friends. I used to, but they all inevitably stopped contacting me and moved on over the years. I spend my time playing guitar, in the gym, or on the internet. I sometimes go to concerts but anymore I don’t like going because most of the time I have to go by myself, because I don’t know anyone into extreme metal genres. I don’t have a desire to go out and socialize anyway because of how I look. I’m tired of my looks being at the forefront of my mind 24/7. I’ve lost the desire to chase women too. I’ve tried so many times, talked to many, yet nothing ever became of it. Im not going to play the games they want me to play, or chase them. I know that there’s guys out there who do a whole lot less and get a whole lot more from them. This has been my experience 20,30,40+ times from both girls I know IRL and women I’ve matched with on dating apps. The only ones I ever pulled were mentally ill and looksmatched with me if not worse. There was a good stretch of time where I felt really confident in myself, but lately I’ve realized that I’m not the person I thought I was, an ego death of sorts. I’d do anything to afford fat graft, lip filler, and plasty just to be done and happy. My life would be so much better and I’d be so much happier if I looked better, if I could truly have confidence in myself. I genuinely don’t do anything in life. I grinded hard for a while trying to make fitness content, guitar/music content, and trying to build connections. But recently I’ve just realized that it’s all futile, that I’m chasing my tail. I’ve lost all desire to try to be something I’m not. I’ve stopped taking pics of myself at the gym, making content, etc. because I will never be able to compete with the literal thousands of physiques on the internet. I also considered maybe acting or modeling of some kind but then I realized how chopped I truly was lmao, and the fact I’m short. But it truly was a fun lie to tell myself, that I would one day do it. I feel so apathetic to the world, and I don’t want to go out and do anything. I’ve been born into a time where the average man will not succeed, thrive, or ever find love. Time and time again I see women, many of which I’d never imagine to do such a thing, cheat or act so immodestly that it makes me sad for them. Love is dead, and hypergamy really is rampant. I don’t think one could argue this any more, I think most everyone understand just how bad the dating world is for an average young man, otherwise they are in denial. I just don’t know what purpose I could possibly have, knowing I’ll never be found truly attractive by someone, loved, or cherished. I’ll never stand out in any way with any of my interests or passions. The world is just far too cutthroat. Maybe if I hadn’t been allowed to be a fat, lazy, disgrace of a child, I wouldn’t have had to try everything I could to ascend myself, even marginally this much.
