girl in dota 2 suifueled me

[Psychophilly]

she was playing with her boyfriend and they were happy and laughing at me because i raged at the start of the game for no reason and insulted her. she kept sending voice about how no body loves me and i should get laid and i'm waste of oxygen etc etc.
while she was just throwing random insults, it was all perfectly correct and made me think. am i even a good person? what am i? an angry man-child playing video games and yelling at people.

so i was so sad in the game and i felt sorry for myself, i was intimated by her beautiful voice and i kept imagining her looks and how could she be hts, how she has boobs and i was getting horny by her voice.
crazy how much i liked to listen to her voice while she was just insulting me all game, and i coudn't talk nice to her because it would look lame. cuz i started raging without knowing it's a girl, i coudn't change how i behave just because she is a girl, i had to stick to my bad attitude to the very end. i wanted her to be my girlfriend, i wanted to tell her that i'm sorry i raged at start and let's start over and play another game, but nah, i had to stick with my initial rage attitude.

she said "you ruined my day" and i felt bad and good at the same time.

anger has consumed me, i'm no longer the person i used to be. i can't ever be nice again, being nice feels so awkward for me right now, it's just easier for me to be toxic and raging than to be nice. can't remmeber last time i thanked anyone or cheered people up. i'm always raging and attacking people.

i realized, you can't just say you hate all people, what are all people? i could be any of them, i'm no different. looking at myself in a third person perspective, without my inner thoughts, i'm an abused dog who behaves bad and rages all the time. i used to see myself as highly intelligent being who is better than most people but that's just my thoughts which no one can see, what people see is this raging man child.

 

[Deleted member 21700]

Bkaay bastard,

 

[JimmyDreamsOfZygos]

Okay so next time what you do is you tell her that you have GeForce Now and you just pressed save on the last 15 minutes of her insulting you. Tell her you have a humiliation and depravation fetish, and that you’re gonna masturbate to her voice for the next couple weeks until you get bored, and on top of that you’ll also be thinking about how disgusted she is, which only turns you on even more. Tell her it’s the only way you can orgasm anymore, and that you’re actually grateful. I promise you she’ll delete the game and think twice next time she wants to open her whore mouth.