Going insane, cant keep living this way

[AscendantGalivanter]

My mood depends entirely how I look/percieve myself. I cant go an hour without looking at myself in the mirror and everyday i look different in my sick head. My standards are so high i only compare myself to top models and i don’t want to live if I cant look like Jordan Barrett or Elias De Poot. Even if a girl likes me, insecurity is so etched into my head It seems impossible to me. Today I realized this issue is worse than i imagined.

I moved away from my hometown several years ago, i recently came back and a girl i knew works as a cashier in the supermarket (we are the same age). She barely talked with anyone when i used to live here and when i go to the market she always smiles at me and is nice with me, i think she tried flirting with me too. I have this feeling she likes me but i cant make myself believe it because of the way i look. Im not even ugly, i am above average facially but i still cant believe it. In my head she is after something, maybe its reputation? For dating the guy that left, or maybe its money? Maybe she thinks im rich? I used to and still do like her a little, but if she were to ask me out id probably go home crying because in my head im not perfect therefore cannot be loved and keep her. I think the only way to heal is to reach the overinflated non-existing level of beauty thats infecting my head, but that isnt possible. Anyone else feel the same?

 

[smegor]

i used to feel the same way

 

[AscendantGalivanter]

i used to feel the same way

No you dont? Why?

 

[ldarwarrior]

Bro this is way deeper than just looks.

The problem isn't that you don't look good enough, it's that your brain has made "perfect" the requirement for being worthy of love. Even if you looked like the models you mentioned, that mindset would probably just move the goalpost to something else.

Also, the fact that your first reaction to someone liking you is "what do they want from me?" shows how much your self-image is distorting things. Sometimes people genuinely like your personality, your energy, or just being around you.

Comparing yourself to the top 0.001% of male models 24/7 is basically setting yourself up to lose. Try to build a life where your appearance is one part of you, not the entire scoreboard.

 

[ThomasDeutsch]

You have abused dog syndrome and sadly you cant cure it
U can cope with drugs but the effects will be temporary

 

[KhaosCow]

I feel the same way now tbh, but whats working for me is to just live man. Like do all the dumbshit you want, ask out girls, embarrass yourself. I have friends currently now but when i didn't it was so hard for me not to do solo shit, but when i did the feeling was great.

 

[AscendantGalivanter]

Also, the fact that your first reaction to someone liking you is "what do they want from me?" shows how much your self-image is distorting things. Sometimes people genuinely like your personality, your energy, or just being around you.

How? What if i am right?

 

[ldarwarrior]

The thing is, your brain is treating the thought as proof.

"What if I'm right?" is the trap. What if you're wrong? What if she actually just likes being around you? ever thought abt that?

When you're stuck in that mindset, every possible positive explanation gets dismissed and every negative explanation feels like the truth.

You don't need 100% certainty that someone likes you before letting yourself be liked. Nobody gets that guarantee.

Also, if you were actually as unworthy as your brain says, you wouldn't have people showing interest in you in the first place.