zerotohero
6K Posts and Counting
- Joined
- May 2, 2022
- Posts
- 6,500
- Reputation
- 8,928
Hey everyone, I’ve been struggling with this for a while. I messed up badly in my last relationship and I know I hurt her deeply. I’ve been working on myself in therapy, trying to understand my flaws and fix my impulsive, insecure behaviors.
I want to send her a message to apologize and close this chapter respectfully. I’m not expecting her to forgive me or get back together — I just want to be honest and show that I’m trying to change.
Here’s the message I’m planning to send. I’d really appreciate any feedback on whether it’s too much, too little, or if it comes across the wrong way:
Message to send:
(Her name),
I need to tell you this even though my whole body is shaking. I hurt you. A lot. Every time you felt lonely, sad, or disappointed, it was because of me. Betraying you is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I was selfish: I needed validation, I was impulsive and insecure… I didn’t value you or listen to you, and it hurts me deeply to have been that way with you.
For the past month and a half, I’ve been in therapy, working on myself, facing my fears and impulses. I’ve learned that being vulnerable connects me to others and to myself.
I’ve always admired who you are: brave, sensitive, intelligent, someone who cares for those close to her… All of that left a mark on me and made me fall in love with you.
I don’t want to pressure you, I just want to close this chapter with respect. If one day you want, I’d love to see each other and talk calmly. If not, I understand and respect that.
I know there might be someone else now, and it hurts, but what I truly want is for you to be happy.
I just wanted to say I’m sorry, truly.
I want to send her a message to apologize and close this chapter respectfully. I’m not expecting her to forgive me or get back together — I just want to be honest and show that I’m trying to change.
Here’s the message I’m planning to send. I’d really appreciate any feedback on whether it’s too much, too little, or if it comes across the wrong way:
Message to send:
(Her name),
I need to tell you this even though my whole body is shaking. I hurt you. A lot. Every time you felt lonely, sad, or disappointed, it was because of me. Betraying you is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I was selfish: I needed validation, I was impulsive and insecure… I didn’t value you or listen to you, and it hurts me deeply to have been that way with you.
For the past month and a half, I’ve been in therapy, working on myself, facing my fears and impulses. I’ve learned that being vulnerable connects me to others and to myself.
I’ve always admired who you are: brave, sensitive, intelligent, someone who cares for those close to her… All of that left a mark on me and made me fall in love with you.
I don’t want to pressure you, I just want to close this chapter with respect. If one day you want, I’d love to see each other and talk calmly. If not, I understand and respect that.
I know there might be someone else now, and it hurts, but what I truly want is for you to be happy.
I just wanted to say I’m sorry, truly.
