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Kraken
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This is a repost because my dumbass chose to post this in the off topic. Thank you @PrestonYnot for telling me.
Step 1: The Setup
"WoMeN aRe cOmPliCaTeD" - Some SIMP
(TW: MISOGYNY and OBJECTIFYING TERMS)
Turns out women are simpletons. Their smaller brains make them incredibly predictable. There are entire fields of study dedicated to understanding just exactly how women go about selecting their mates. We won't go into the extensive research of female hypergamy but to sum it up, women want to fuck the guy at top of the hierarchy.
Now...How do women sort males?
A topic of much debate, (see research by Caldwell, Dickermann or Barber) but usually young women in particular seem to sort men by 3 common categories; ability to generate value (usually income), education, and social status. College is a special time because two of those three important filters are fixed among all potential mates. Income and education are usually locked. College girls rely HEAVILY on social status to select mates. Being able to say you are apart of an exclusive social club is usually a lock for "smashing poon" at some point. Take a quick mental sample of the first thing a college female asks you when you meet her. It will almost always be a question to sort you by social status. The question will not be "where are you from?" or "what do you like to do for fun?" because these questions don't help them sort you. A female out of college in the real world is much more likely to ask "what do you do?" to quickly assess income and education but college girls know (subconsciously) that at this point, that question is useless.
What does this mean for you?
It means don't put yourself into situations where you aren't at the top of the hierarchy with girls you want to fuck.
For example: If you want to play an intermural sport but you know an attractive girl you want to fuck will be at that games, unless you are really good, don't participate. If you want to fuck a big brain smart girl in your class, make she knows you are smarter than the other people in class (including her).
How do I select my friends?
It is a common misconception that you need to be "the alpha male" or "the most Chad tier" guy in your friend group. You don't! The alpha of your group will usually fuck the hottest chick (the Stacey) in the girls group. But if you are happy with the 3rd or 4th hottest chick in a group that's okay! Same goes the other way around. If you are hanging out with spencers (not Chads) and you are the only Chad, the overall attractiveness of the female groups you hang out with will be lower but you will probably land the best one, and that can be just as good.
What else can you do?
Participate in exclusive activities. Invite only events whether it is a party, honors society, or recruiting event this will push you up hierarchies. Join a social club, the most exclusive one you can find.
If you are trying to reach for a girl out of your league - DO NOT BE NICE TO HER. Unless you have her locked in or she "has a history with bad boys that she will surely change for your SIMPING ass" then being nice immediately pushes you down the list. This doesn't mean you need to overtly be an asshole but make sure girls you want to fuck feel just a tad insecure around you. Nice guys finish last when it comes to "smashing poon."
Step 2: Finding a person
"Wow Balls, now that I understand the setup, what is next?"
This is arguably the most important step. Even if you fuck up steps 1 & 3 you can still smash some puss if you do step 2 correctly. If you have done step 1 correctly, step 2 will just happen naturally. Here are your 3 likely female interaction scenarios:
The Date:
This is for SIMPs. Jk. If you like a chick as more than a bounce pad then yes, you can be nice and go on dates and be exclusive. If you want to do this then your target criteria is going to include "things you want in a spouse." It's where most of us end up eventually, but you said you want to "smash poon" so on to the real stuff...
The Party:
This scenario is going to be pretty common in your upperclassman years and maybe during your underclassman years. You and the boys are going to a party and chicks will be there. These are uniquely special scenarios for non committal sex. For the most part everyone is there to get drunk and usually a lot of people are down to have some sort of physical interaction with the opposite sex. Now, how do you make sure that interaction is sex? Well here we want to look for indicators! Remember, the goal is to smash poon. Identifying a target properly can make all the difference cum 1 or 2 am. Since parties are usually loud and chaotic, using conversational indicators can be much harder than the "hangout" situation described below. Physical indicators are key in "the party" scenario.
How revealing is the outfit? - More revealing means "I want to get tagged" more.
Are they drinking beer or liquor? - This could be drink preference but usually the higher the alcohol content, the more they want to get filet'ed.
(I personally do not agree with this. I think it's wrong to try to serenade ANYONE who has more than 2 beers in them. Take this line as you will)
Do they have any tattoos and where are they? - See my first comment ever for more details but basically the more tattoos, the more bodies. Wrist, ribcage (ask for head), and foot are all fine. Stay away from thigh tattoos, tramp stamps, and girls that wear fish hooks in baseball caps.
Finding girls that have reputations can also be an efficient use of time as you already know they let guys lay pipe.
In "the party" scenario you just need to be present and drunk at the same time. Then try making moves on enough girls, the less the better your targeting, and you can be successful. These scenarios can result in a successful fuck a good percentage of the time but a more common scenario, and one that might pay repeat dividends, is.. the hangout...
The Hangout:
It's a Friday night and you are out in town. You had a tough week at school and you and the boys want to get drunk and get some ass. Someone finds a way to convince girls (probably a routine friend group) to hang out with you guys and now you have a chance. Once you meet up with females you need to find one that you would like to pursue. I like to spend an hour or so letting the sorting happen (if it hasn't already). The girls will ask the predictable sorting questions and then the foreplay begins. The first 25% of the night you need to find your girl and start listening to her bullshit. Keep asking her questions and she will likely keep talking. Next, ghost her (but watch her) for the middle 50% of the night. During this 50% of the night talk to other people but occasionally make eye contact. Make sure she doesn't get too flirty with someone else that is LESS Chad than you. Also, at any point in Q1-Q3, make sure you had some sort of physical contact. This could be a greeting hug or an accidental rub as you walk past. Come in during Q4 of the night for the close. During this stage you need to try and isolate her and have overtly physical interaction. This could be a kiss but doesn't have to be. Can also just be talking very closely, handsy, anything that isn't just "incidental" contact. Finally you need to make some sort of move to remove both of you from the group setting. "Oh I left XYZ at the last place, want to come with me?" or "Damn I could go for a dessert too, lets go to XYZ!" If you have played your cards right she will be confident leaving the group with you if its late enough. After that its step 3...
Step 3: Doing the deed
You have successfully gotten a girl alone and you plan on having consensual pre-marital sex. This part is the easiest. Most of it will come naturally and if you have watched any amount of amateur porn you will know what to do. Here if the girl is experienced and takes the lead, GREAT! Just sit there and get your little pecker wet. If not then you need to take the lead and make her feel confident. This is different than some of the early steps where you were playing hard to get or bad boy. You need to get her confident or the sex might suck.
Telling her how pretty/hawt she is, turning the lights off, or 2nd/3rd base activity is a great way to do this. Making sure to incorporate a little fingering early on will give you other indicators as well that you can use to make the sex better for her. If the snatch feels really hairy then I wouldn't try and eat her out. 1) because you probably won't like it and 2) she probably isn't comfortable with you down in hedge. If she is really into the fingering that is usually good because she will be nice and wet when you put it in.
Use any information you have on her sexual history during sex to make decisions. Guys are horny AF and will do almost anything but for girls be careful going more than 1 step past what she has previously done. A couple examples:
- If she has only done missionary then don't try reverse cowgirl or a 69. It will probably make her uncomfortable even if she says yes. If she is uncomfortable then she might not enjoy the sex and you lose street cred, not good. Here I would suggest doggy style or her on top instead.
- If she hasn't had a guy eat her clam, don't try and eat ass. Never met a girl that had her ass ate before her cooter.
- If she hasn't had cum splash on her face, don't ask her to swallow.
Sometimes you might get lucky and violate one of these rules and get a yes but it is my opinion that in the long run this could be harmful to your poon smashing adventures. If she says yes then she feels like she can only be an extra dirty hoe with you and then might want to date...fuck that you just wanted a couple bones. If she says no, then things can get real awkward and she might tell her friends that the sex was bad. I guess you want to have a mutual respect for boundaries, even when she doesn't mention them.
Other tips:
- Always bring a condom. Just in case... you don't want to not get any because you weren't prepared.
- Always try to go in raw first. It is on them to make sure you have and use a condom.
- Always pull out. If you go in raw you want to make sure and shoot the cum on her because obviously you don't want a kid.
This guide takes HEAVILY from BallsOnChinBoy's post in the WSO forum and a lot of this was written by him. I didn't read some of it and mostly refined a few parts, but this guy knows what he's talking about. Shoutout to him for this knowledge
As you may have noticed, this guide is strictly redpilled, which is why this is targeted for guys who are at least above average and somewhat tall.
If you read this and think "muhhh only looks matter" or "muhhh this is cope" or "muhhh I'm ethnic" or "muhhh too bluepilled", GTFOH and go rot on some other thread. This is for the motivated guys who want to improve their experience and game and most of all, have fun.
To any lurkers: I understand that this seems offensive and disrespectful. I also understand how this may seem like it is objectifying women. Let me say that this guide is not a reflection of my character or thoughts. I simply found and revitalized a guide that I thought would help or give inspiration to some of the guys here. There are some parts of this guide that I completely disagree with (I'm sure you know which ones). But you have to understand that this is just the way young people talk whether it be boys or girls. I can guarantee that girls speak like this about men as well and give advice similar to this. To be understanding and empathetic towards the experiences of the people who read this, I put trigger warnings in sections that might make one uncomfortable. I am sorry to anyone who was hurt while reading the guide but this is the real world and it is what it is.
Step 1: The Setup
"WoMeN aRe cOmPliCaTeD" - Some SIMP
(TW: MISOGYNY and OBJECTIFYING TERMS)
Turns out women are simpletons. Their smaller brains make them incredibly predictable. There are entire fields of study dedicated to understanding just exactly how women go about selecting their mates. We won't go into the extensive research of female hypergamy but to sum it up, women want to fuck the guy at top of the hierarchy.
Now...How do women sort males?
A topic of much debate, (see research by Caldwell, Dickermann or Barber) but usually young women in particular seem to sort men by 3 common categories; ability to generate value (usually income), education, and social status. College is a special time because two of those three important filters are fixed among all potential mates. Income and education are usually locked. College girls rely HEAVILY on social status to select mates. Being able to say you are apart of an exclusive social club is usually a lock for "smashing poon" at some point. Take a quick mental sample of the first thing a college female asks you when you meet her. It will almost always be a question to sort you by social status. The question will not be "where are you from?" or "what do you like to do for fun?" because these questions don't help them sort you. A female out of college in the real world is much more likely to ask "what do you do?" to quickly assess income and education but college girls know (subconsciously) that at this point, that question is useless.
What does this mean for you?
It means don't put yourself into situations where you aren't at the top of the hierarchy with girls you want to fuck.
For example: If you want to play an intermural sport but you know an attractive girl you want to fuck will be at that games, unless you are really good, don't participate. If you want to fuck a big brain smart girl in your class, make she knows you are smarter than the other people in class (including her).
How do I select my friends?
It is a common misconception that you need to be "the alpha male" or "the most Chad tier" guy in your friend group. You don't! The alpha of your group will usually fuck the hottest chick (the Stacey) in the girls group. But if you are happy with the 3rd or 4th hottest chick in a group that's okay! Same goes the other way around. If you are hanging out with spencers (not Chads) and you are the only Chad, the overall attractiveness of the female groups you hang out with will be lower but you will probably land the best one, and that can be just as good.
What else can you do?
Participate in exclusive activities. Invite only events whether it is a party, honors society, or recruiting event this will push you up hierarchies. Join a social club, the most exclusive one you can find.
If you are trying to reach for a girl out of your league - DO NOT BE NICE TO HER. Unless you have her locked in or she "has a history with bad boys that she will surely change for your SIMPING ass" then being nice immediately pushes you down the list. This doesn't mean you need to overtly be an asshole but make sure girls you want to fuck feel just a tad insecure around you. Nice guys finish last when it comes to "smashing poon."
Step 2: Finding a person
"Wow Balls, now that I understand the setup, what is next?"
This is arguably the most important step. Even if you fuck up steps 1 & 3 you can still smash some puss if you do step 2 correctly. If you have done step 1 correctly, step 2 will just happen naturally. Here are your 3 likely female interaction scenarios:
The Date:
This is for SIMPs. Jk. If you like a chick as more than a bounce pad then yes, you can be nice and go on dates and be exclusive. If you want to do this then your target criteria is going to include "things you want in a spouse." It's where most of us end up eventually, but you said you want to "smash poon" so on to the real stuff...
The Party:
This scenario is going to be pretty common in your upperclassman years and maybe during your underclassman years. You and the boys are going to a party and chicks will be there. These are uniquely special scenarios for non committal sex. For the most part everyone is there to get drunk and usually a lot of people are down to have some sort of physical interaction with the opposite sex. Now, how do you make sure that interaction is sex? Well here we want to look for indicators! Remember, the goal is to smash poon. Identifying a target properly can make all the difference cum 1 or 2 am. Since parties are usually loud and chaotic, using conversational indicators can be much harder than the "hangout" situation described below. Physical indicators are key in "the party" scenario.
How revealing is the outfit? - More revealing means "I want to get tagged" more.
Are they drinking beer or liquor? - This could be drink preference but usually the higher the alcohol content, the more they want to get filet'ed.
(I personally do not agree with this. I think it's wrong to try to serenade ANYONE who has more than 2 beers in them. Take this line as you will)
Do they have any tattoos and where are they? - See my first comment ever for more details but basically the more tattoos, the more bodies. Wrist, ribcage (ask for head), and foot are all fine. Stay away from thigh tattoos, tramp stamps, and girls that wear fish hooks in baseball caps.
Finding girls that have reputations can also be an efficient use of time as you already know they let guys lay pipe.
In "the party" scenario you just need to be present and drunk at the same time. Then try making moves on enough girls, the less the better your targeting, and you can be successful. These scenarios can result in a successful fuck a good percentage of the time but a more common scenario, and one that might pay repeat dividends, is.. the hangout...
The Hangout:
It's a Friday night and you are out in town. You had a tough week at school and you and the boys want to get drunk and get some ass. Someone finds a way to convince girls (probably a routine friend group) to hang out with you guys and now you have a chance. Once you meet up with females you need to find one that you would like to pursue. I like to spend an hour or so letting the sorting happen (if it hasn't already). The girls will ask the predictable sorting questions and then the foreplay begins. The first 25% of the night you need to find your girl and start listening to her bullshit. Keep asking her questions and she will likely keep talking. Next, ghost her (but watch her) for the middle 50% of the night. During this 50% of the night talk to other people but occasionally make eye contact. Make sure she doesn't get too flirty with someone else that is LESS Chad than you. Also, at any point in Q1-Q3, make sure you had some sort of physical contact. This could be a greeting hug or an accidental rub as you walk past. Come in during Q4 of the night for the close. During this stage you need to try and isolate her and have overtly physical interaction. This could be a kiss but doesn't have to be. Can also just be talking very closely, handsy, anything that isn't just "incidental" contact. Finally you need to make some sort of move to remove both of you from the group setting. "Oh I left XYZ at the last place, want to come with me?" or "Damn I could go for a dessert too, lets go to XYZ!" If you have played your cards right she will be confident leaving the group with you if its late enough. After that its step 3...
Step 3: Doing the deed
You have successfully gotten a girl alone and you plan on having consensual pre-marital sex. This part is the easiest. Most of it will come naturally and if you have watched any amount of amateur porn you will know what to do. Here if the girl is experienced and takes the lead, GREAT! Just sit there and get your little pecker wet. If not then you need to take the lead and make her feel confident. This is different than some of the early steps where you were playing hard to get or bad boy. You need to get her confident or the sex might suck.
Telling her how pretty/hawt she is, turning the lights off, or 2nd/3rd base activity is a great way to do this. Making sure to incorporate a little fingering early on will give you other indicators as well that you can use to make the sex better for her. If the snatch feels really hairy then I wouldn't try and eat her out. 1) because you probably won't like it and 2) she probably isn't comfortable with you down in hedge. If she is really into the fingering that is usually good because she will be nice and wet when you put it in.
Use any information you have on her sexual history during sex to make decisions. Guys are horny AF and will do almost anything but for girls be careful going more than 1 step past what she has previously done. A couple examples:
- If she has only done missionary then don't try reverse cowgirl or a 69. It will probably make her uncomfortable even if she says yes. If she is uncomfortable then she might not enjoy the sex and you lose street cred, not good. Here I would suggest doggy style or her on top instead.
- If she hasn't had a guy eat her clam, don't try and eat ass. Never met a girl that had her ass ate before her cooter.
- If she hasn't had cum splash on her face, don't ask her to swallow.
Sometimes you might get lucky and violate one of these rules and get a yes but it is my opinion that in the long run this could be harmful to your poon smashing adventures. If she says yes then she feels like she can only be an extra dirty hoe with you and then might want to date...fuck that you just wanted a couple bones. If she says no, then things can get real awkward and she might tell her friends that the sex was bad. I guess you want to have a mutual respect for boundaries, even when she doesn't mention them.
Other tips:
- Always bring a condom. Just in case... you don't want to not get any because you weren't prepared.
- Always try to go in raw first. It is on them to make sure you have and use a condom.
- Always pull out. If you go in raw you want to make sure and shoot the cum on her because obviously you don't want a kid.
This guide takes HEAVILY from BallsOnChinBoy's post in the WSO forum and a lot of this was written by him. I didn't read some of it and mostly refined a few parts, but this guy knows what he's talking about. Shoutout to him for this knowledge
As you may have noticed, this guide is strictly redpilled, which is why this is targeted for guys who are at least above average and somewhat tall.
If you read this and think "muhhh only looks matter" or "muhhh this is cope" or "muhhh I'm ethnic" or "muhhh too bluepilled", GTFOH and go rot on some other thread. This is for the motivated guys who want to improve their experience and game and most of all, have fun.
To any lurkers: I understand that this seems offensive and disrespectful. I also understand how this may seem like it is objectifying women. Let me say that this guide is not a reflection of my character or thoughts. I simply found and revitalized a guide that I thought would help or give inspiration to some of the guys here. There are some parts of this guide that I completely disagree with (I'm sure you know which ones). But you have to understand that this is just the way young people talk whether it be boys or girls. I can guarantee that girls speak like this about men as well and give advice similar to this. To be understanding and empathetic towards the experiences of the people who read this, I put trigger warnings in sections that might make one uncomfortable. I am sorry to anyone who was hurt while reading the guide but this is the real world and it is what it is.
![( ( ( d[-_-]b ) ) )](/data/avatars/l/2/2780.jpg?1694329441){kind=avatar}
