Seth Walsh
Iconoclast
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- Jan 12, 2020
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Not because they "don't want to date a whore". That's hyperbolic cope.
Easily identifiable ^^^^^
Guys instinctively care about a woman’s relationship with her dad partly because of social-class reasons.
Not consciously. Not because they have read attachment theory. Because the father relationship often reveals the family system she comes from.
1/ A close, stable father can signal protection, standards, continuity and family investment.
It suggests she was not socially formed in chaos.
2/ Men are often evaluating more than the woman herself.
They are evaluating the invisible structure around her: family stability, expectations, money habits, conflict style, reputation and future obligations.
3/ The father is often a proxy for the household’s relationship with authority, provision and male competence.
Was he reliable? Respected? Present? Passive? Volatile? Financially reckless?
Those patterns rarely remain isolated.
4/ Social class is not just income.
It is behavioural inheritance: how people speak, choose partners, manage embarrassment, handle money, respond to setbacks and protect the family name.
5/ A woman’s relationship with her father can reveal whether she grew up feeling secure or needing to extract security from romantic relationships.
That changes the burden placed on a future partner.
6/ Men also care about whether the father approves of them because approval can represent entry into a wider family system.
The relationship is never purely two individuals. Marriage especially is partly an alliance between families.
7/ This does not mean a difficult father relationship makes someone a bad partner.
Some people consciously break the pattern and become unusually self-aware.
Others unconsciously recreate it.
8/ The real question is not: “Does she get along with her dad?”
It is: “What did her family teach her to expect from men, money, conflict, loyalty and status?”
That is why men notice.
Easily identifiable ^^^^^
Guys instinctively care about a woman’s relationship with her dad partly because of social-class reasons.
Not consciously. Not because they have read attachment theory. Because the father relationship often reveals the family system she comes from.
1/ A close, stable father can signal protection, standards, continuity and family investment.
It suggests she was not socially formed in chaos.
2/ Men are often evaluating more than the woman herself.
They are evaluating the invisible structure around her: family stability, expectations, money habits, conflict style, reputation and future obligations.
3/ The father is often a proxy for the household’s relationship with authority, provision and male competence.
Was he reliable? Respected? Present? Passive? Volatile? Financially reckless?
Those patterns rarely remain isolated.
4/ Social class is not just income.
It is behavioural inheritance: how people speak, choose partners, manage embarrassment, handle money, respond to setbacks and protect the family name.
5/ A woman’s relationship with her father can reveal whether she grew up feeling secure or needing to extract security from romantic relationships.
That changes the burden placed on a future partner.
6/ Men also care about whether the father approves of them because approval can represent entry into a wider family system.
The relationship is never purely two individuals. Marriage especially is partly an alliance between families.
7/ This does not mean a difficult father relationship makes someone a bad partner.
Some people consciously break the pattern and become unusually self-aware.
Others unconsciously recreate it.
8/ The real question is not: “Does she get along with her dad?”
It is: “What did her family teach her to expect from men, money, conflict, loyalty and status?”
That is why men notice.
