HeWhoDefiesFate
Iron
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2026
- Posts
- 3
- Reputation
- 2
I spent most of my life escaping.
My father left when I was five. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, moved around constantly, got bullied, and never really learned how to socialize properly. Instead of confronting any of it, I escaped into video games, anime, novels, and maladaptive daydreaming.
Eventually, escaping became my lifestyle.
By my mid-teens, I had basically given up on school. The pandemic made it worse, and I spent roughly five years as a semi-NEET. I became so resentful and disconnected from reality.
The frustrating part is I wasn't even stupid. I had potential. I just didn't use it.
Now I'm 21, back in high school, and finally realizing how much time I wasted.
Looks-wise, I also got dealt with bad genetics. And being broke in a third world country doesn't exactly make things easier. A lot of expensive hardmaxxing options such as procedures, drugs, injections, etc., are simply out of reach for me.
But that's not an excuse.
Even with bad genetics and limited resources, I could've maximized what I have by finding a job and looksmaxxed, even if the pay is low. I could've made better decisions during puberty. I could've “epigenetics-maxxed” instead of rotting and escaping. Although, I DID exercised a lot and packed some muscles even with the shitty nutrition I had, I still have a terrible pot belly and my face is bloated af. That's just how my genetics work. (I do have a shitty diet because I only eat what my mom cooks and I'm unemployed, but still, that's just how the fats are distributed to my entire body, my starting point is skinny fat so it is what it is.)
I'm 21 now. I can't get those years back.
I regret it. I really do.
But I'm still going to be delusional enough to try now. Maybe I'm genetically capped. Maybe I'm already too late. I don't know.
I've spent enough time escaping reality. Now I want to live and see what I can still become.
My father left when I was five. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, moved around constantly, got bullied, and never really learned how to socialize properly. Instead of confronting any of it, I escaped into video games, anime, novels, and maladaptive daydreaming.
Eventually, escaping became my lifestyle.
By my mid-teens, I had basically given up on school. The pandemic made it worse, and I spent roughly five years as a semi-NEET. I became so resentful and disconnected from reality.
The frustrating part is I wasn't even stupid. I had potential. I just didn't use it.
Now I'm 21, back in high school, and finally realizing how much time I wasted.
Looks-wise, I also got dealt with bad genetics. And being broke in a third world country doesn't exactly make things easier. A lot of expensive hardmaxxing options such as procedures, drugs, injections, etc., are simply out of reach for me.
But that's not an excuse.
Even with bad genetics and limited resources, I could've maximized what I have by finding a job and looksmaxxed, even if the pay is low. I could've made better decisions during puberty. I could've “epigenetics-maxxed” instead of rotting and escaping. Although, I DID exercised a lot and packed some muscles even with the shitty nutrition I had, I still have a terrible pot belly and my face is bloated af. That's just how my genetics work. (I do have a shitty diet because I only eat what my mom cooks and I'm unemployed, but still, that's just how the fats are distributed to my entire body, my starting point is skinny fat so it is what it is.)
I'm 21 now. I can't get those years back.
I regret it. I really do.
But I'm still going to be delusional enough to try now. Maybe I'm genetically capped. Maybe I'm already too late. I don't know.
I've spent enough time escaping reality. Now I want to live and see what I can still become.
Rope fuel
