Extropy
Over? It never began..
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2025
- Posts
- 343
- Reputation
- 527
Finally turned 25, live at home, mum at work, not a single person remembered my birthday. Every year just seems to get worse, even though every year I try harder. Since I've joined here, I've started going to the gym, am on 150g of protein a day, take supplements, and have a decent skincare routine. Even got upper Botox, lip flip, , Reta, GHK+ AHK with GW 0742, brow, lash and hair dyed a shade darker and other stuff I mentioned in previous posts... but it's never enough.
Obviously, just taking stuff isn't going to make me a better person, so I've tried to advance my social skills. I went from no friends or connections to making a few work friends and even making some female friends. I've been out to clubs where people go out with the intention of meeting other people and tried cold approaching, paid for dating apps, dripped out my profile and even used AI to make frauded pictures of me when my normal ones weren't getting any results.
The one girl I liked, I met up with last week, only for her to tell me that she had just hooked up with some guy and he'd ghosted her, so she needed somebody to talk to, but she can't forget him because 'he looked like Tony from Skins' so she's texting his friends who won't give her his number. She even matched profiles with me, then changed it to Tony just so she can think more about this guy who screwed her and then ghosted her? It's like I could never even imagine that treatment: I screw someone at a club I just met, ghost them and then they become obsessed with me? Maybe this is what it means to be Chad? And then, ofc, like everyone else, she has no idea it's my birthday either. Idk, but I feel like some type of cuck for some reason now. I liked someone who has no problem just hooking up with random guys, ig. Are all women like this? Or am I just an incel? ...By definition, I am.
To have reached 25 years of age as a KHHV is actually saddening. I used to say it's all my fault because I don't try hard enough, but all I really have left is to find a way to make money to get surgery and even then I'd still be a freak. I went to my first day back of uni, oldest on the course ofc.. and on my firtst day a girl asked if I'm autistic ( idk if |I made a post about it already, ) but it just made me feel even worse , with everything I've done externally, how the fuck am I going to fix the internal stuff too ?
And to do all of this for what? To be loved? Is it really that great? The only way I'll ever experience something like this is through a screen so I figured I might as well celebrate with one of the birthday asmr vids . I've already watched it ofc, but it has more meaning today, gotta wake up for my lecture soon, even though it's my birthday and I feel like dropping out already. What a miserable waste of life.
Obviously, just taking stuff isn't going to make me a better person, so I've tried to advance my social skills. I went from no friends or connections to making a few work friends and even making some female friends. I've been out to clubs where people go out with the intention of meeting other people and tried cold approaching, paid for dating apps, dripped out my profile and even used AI to make frauded pictures of me when my normal ones weren't getting any results.
The one girl I liked, I met up with last week, only for her to tell me that she had just hooked up with some guy and he'd ghosted her, so she needed somebody to talk to, but she can't forget him because 'he looked like Tony from Skins' so she's texting his friends who won't give her his number. She even matched profiles with me, then changed it to Tony just so she can think more about this guy who screwed her and then ghosted her? It's like I could never even imagine that treatment: I screw someone at a club I just met, ghost them and then they become obsessed with me? Maybe this is what it means to be Chad? And then, ofc, like everyone else, she has no idea it's my birthday either. Idk, but I feel like some type of cuck for some reason now. I liked someone who has no problem just hooking up with random guys, ig. Are all women like this? Or am I just an incel? ...By definition, I am.
To have reached 25 years of age as a KHHV is actually saddening. I used to say it's all my fault because I don't try hard enough, but all I really have left is to find a way to make money to get surgery and even then I'd still be a freak. I went to my first day back of uni, oldest on the course ofc.. and on my firtst day a girl asked if I'm autistic ( idk if |I made a post about it already, ) but it just made me feel even worse , with everything I've done externally, how the fuck am I going to fix the internal stuff too ?
And to do all of this for what? To be loved? Is it really that great? The only way I'll ever experience something like this is through a screen so I figured I might as well celebrate with one of the birthday asmr vids . I've already watched it ofc, but it has more meaning today, gotta wake up for my lecture soon, even though it's my birthday and I feel like dropping out already. What a miserable waste of life.
