hes actually dead

[adjurned]

Yesterday my friend was buried. His funeral was so surreal I couldn't even cry until I got home, well at least it's that or just because I got really drunk before the funeral to help cope with his death (He died roped back in January) please I feel like I might rope I haven't talked to anyone in the past 3 months I barely eat or talk to my parents. In school I try my hardest to be outgoing but I can barely look and talk to even my teachers if its 1 on 1 it really is over JFL.

 

[greycel]

RIP to your friend

Also OP don’t put these thoughts into your mind. No need to acknowledge, let alone entertain these ideas at all

Death brings about the end of a human identity. The finite part, a temporary character we’ll build for a century or so.

As forward as this might sound, you should take this as an sign to develop healthy detachment.
Attachment is probably the biggest issue with humanity.
It is the core of all sins. Attachment to your human identity - Ego, being the worst

Don’t limit others to physical constraints. Everybody is a victim of their predisposition - environment and genetics, something out of your control

Just remember to keep it healthy.
Have an upper bound, because with maximum detachment, you’ll find no purpose

Do this when you’re in a better headspace though