SBHBmozuchi
Iron
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@underwearremover @edcel
This is my second high effort post on this forum, I hope you guys find it useful.
Here is the definitive guide to getting rid of nail biting (but applies for other weird behavior like hair pulling and skin picking) written by a guy who got rid by himself from chronic nail biting of 14 years. No bullshit advice like "paint your nails" or "get them done at the nail salon" you see on quora and reddit will be present here.
-- Why the comB model?
While the HRT model can be quite effective and many people saw great success in it, the failure rate for HRT regarding BFRB-related issues is around 40% - 50%, it can be especially ineffective if you are older, your case is chronic (like mine was) or you have some sort auxiliary mental illness. ComB serves as a HRT corollary tailored specifically for BFRBs with a much lower failure and relapse rate. It is quite easy to follow at home so you would not have to waste money for a psychiatrist.
-- What is the cause behind such irregular behavior?
Before I get into the main part of the guide, it is important to understand the underlying issues behind it, it is not you being "too weak", "mentally ill" or "depressed". It is a highly reinforced habit you got over the years, it is quite similar to any other bad habit like smoking and stimming. Multiple factors have been accounted behind this weird phenomena like hereditary issues, general boredom, trying to relax during stressful times or just people loving sensory feedback, but the root cause behind it is thought to be over-grooming. Reason being that animals have been also widely observed to also display such behavior, like FDB in birds or Psychogenic Alopecia in cats. What I want you to take from this is that you are not some subhuman mentalcel from having such an issue and that this is fully fixable.
-- Tools and Mindset recommended
The recommended mindset I would take for this is a very detached and observative one. Think of it like a scientist recording his experiment or trying to finish a rougelike and learning from your mistakes every time you lose, this is a marathon and full recovery can take anywhere from a few months to 2 years depending on the severity along with mental fortitude. All you need tool-wise would be a small notebook with a pen to carry anywhere you go.
-- Part 1: Building Awareness
This is the meat and potatoes of the comB model and where it mainly differs from HRT. I would give this period a solid month or two before you move on. Try to track every time you have engaged in your following BFRB along with what caused it, then write it down in the said notebook I referred to earlier. The 5 domains of the reason behind it that were observed are as follows:
Sensory: This is the whenever it feels like you are itching or something is feels/looks wrong and you want to fix it, a lot of relief will be felt upon indulging in it.
Cognitive: These are thoughts and inner rules. "I will just do it this one more time" or "Let me just fix this slight asymmetry" are thoughts often observed before someone indulges in their habit in question.
Affective: When you are bored, angry, stressed and any other mental state that would warrant you indulging. Pretty self-explanatory
Motor: Habitual body movements that make it very easy for you to indulge in nail biting like your hands near face while slouching, usually happens when you are in a flow state
Place: This is rarer but there might be places that facilitate the BFRB, think a well lit bathroom, your car or a classroom.
You will record the date and time of when the BFRB was executed, select any of the following reasons (selecting multiple for one is fine), along with a short paragraph detailing what exactly caused it, the more info the better, don't worry about missing instances, we are just collecting data for this period.
-- Part 2: Planning and Preparing
This will be the most difficult and personalized part of the plan. I want you to identify what domains were triggered the most during your period of tracking your habit. i will give a few examples on what to try for each domain but feel free to experiment and see what works for your use case, I recommend writing down what works and what doesn't.
Sensory: Gloves, Fake Nails, Lotions
Cognitive: It is quite difficult at first but try to break down under scrutiny the thoughts related to your BFRB. Examples inculde:
"Just one more time" -> "What about when this happens again?"
"It is a little imperfect" -> "No one will notice or care"
"I can't concentrate without doing this" -> Do physical activity do distract yourself
What personally worked for me is constantly thinking that the jews are winning if I indulge myself. It is quite painful and a pain in the ass, but it gets easier with time.
Affective: Physical exercise, Slaying (or jacking off), Screaming (people are surprisingly understanding if you explain your circumstance to them)
Motor: Clench your fists, put your hands behind your back, put your hand between your thighs, hold a pen to your mouth
Place: Modify your environment (switch your bulbs to red light ones, change the position you are sitting when you are in said place), of course it would be ideal to avoid it fully if possible.
-- Part 3: Execution
Stick to the plans you made in part 2, I recommend keeping 3 - 5 effective ways to get rid of the top 3 most commonly occuring domains you have, for the last two, 1 or maybe 2 ways is good enough. Staying alert the entire day would be exhausting, my advice would be to write down all the high risk places where your BFRB occurs the most and be alert only doing those periods, we want to get rid of those first and foremost. I want you at first to pick the 2 most high-risk environments and work your way down, you should be constantly adapting and morphing, if you fail, you should note down why and try again. If overwhelmed, scale down to something less high-risk.
To avoid relapse after you finally have a very solid, I want you to grade yourself every week based on how many times you failed with less being better. You should make plans for if suddenly extreme pops up (a very stressful exam for example), make sure to be very thorough with your plan. eventually you will scale back down and escape out of this hell. Always remember that you are not back to square one and you are better than 95% of the people with similar issues to you for reaching so far in case of relapse
Closing Notes:
The flexibility of this system can make it quite easy and straightforward to get rid of any negative behavior if properly adapted to it. Raw-dogging getting rid of a such an issue (like spontaneous nofap or overnight diet change) is very retarded and a structured plan like this one mogs to the grave and back any redpill "discipline" bullshit. This system did wonders for me and I hope it will help anyone else with a similar issue
This is my second high effort post on this forum, I hope you guys find it useful.
Here is the definitive guide to getting rid of nail biting (but applies for other weird behavior like hair pulling and skin picking) written by a guy who got rid by himself from chronic nail biting of 14 years. No bullshit advice like "paint your nails" or "get them done at the nail salon" you see on quora and reddit will be present here.
-- Why the comB model?
While the HRT model can be quite effective and many people saw great success in it, the failure rate for HRT regarding BFRB-related issues is around 40% - 50%, it can be especially ineffective if you are older, your case is chronic (like mine was) or you have some sort auxiliary mental illness. ComB serves as a HRT corollary tailored specifically for BFRBs with a much lower failure and relapse rate. It is quite easy to follow at home so you would not have to waste money for a psychiatrist.
-- What is the cause behind such irregular behavior?
Before I get into the main part of the guide, it is important to understand the underlying issues behind it, it is not you being "too weak", "mentally ill" or "depressed". It is a highly reinforced habit you got over the years, it is quite similar to any other bad habit like smoking and stimming. Multiple factors have been accounted behind this weird phenomena like hereditary issues, general boredom, trying to relax during stressful times or just people loving sensory feedback, but the root cause behind it is thought to be over-grooming. Reason being that animals have been also widely observed to also display such behavior, like FDB in birds or Psychogenic Alopecia in cats. What I want you to take from this is that you are not some subhuman mentalcel from having such an issue and that this is fully fixable.
-- Tools and Mindset recommended
The recommended mindset I would take for this is a very detached and observative one. Think of it like a scientist recording his experiment or trying to finish a rougelike and learning from your mistakes every time you lose, this is a marathon and full recovery can take anywhere from a few months to 2 years depending on the severity along with mental fortitude. All you need tool-wise would be a small notebook with a pen to carry anywhere you go.
-- Part 1: Building Awareness
This is the meat and potatoes of the comB model and where it mainly differs from HRT. I would give this period a solid month or two before you move on. Try to track every time you have engaged in your following BFRB along with what caused it, then write it down in the said notebook I referred to earlier. The 5 domains of the reason behind it that were observed are as follows:
Sensory: This is the whenever it feels like you are itching or something is feels/looks wrong and you want to fix it, a lot of relief will be felt upon indulging in it.
Cognitive: These are thoughts and inner rules. "I will just do it this one more time" or "Let me just fix this slight asymmetry" are thoughts often observed before someone indulges in their habit in question.
Affective: When you are bored, angry, stressed and any other mental state that would warrant you indulging. Pretty self-explanatory
Motor: Habitual body movements that make it very easy for you to indulge in nail biting like your hands near face while slouching, usually happens when you are in a flow state
Place: This is rarer but there might be places that facilitate the BFRB, think a well lit bathroom, your car or a classroom.
You will record the date and time of when the BFRB was executed, select any of the following reasons (selecting multiple for one is fine), along with a short paragraph detailing what exactly caused it, the more info the better, don't worry about missing instances, we are just collecting data for this period.
-- Part 2: Planning and Preparing
This will be the most difficult and personalized part of the plan. I want you to identify what domains were triggered the most during your period of tracking your habit. i will give a few examples on what to try for each domain but feel free to experiment and see what works for your use case, I recommend writing down what works and what doesn't.
Sensory: Gloves, Fake Nails, Lotions
Cognitive: It is quite difficult at first but try to break down under scrutiny the thoughts related to your BFRB. Examples inculde:
"Just one more time" -> "What about when this happens again?"
"It is a little imperfect" -> "No one will notice or care"
"I can't concentrate without doing this" -> Do physical activity do distract yourself
What personally worked for me is constantly thinking that the jews are winning if I indulge myself. It is quite painful and a pain in the ass, but it gets easier with time.
Affective: Physical exercise, Slaying (or jacking off), Screaming (people are surprisingly understanding if you explain your circumstance to them)
Motor: Clench your fists, put your hands behind your back, put your hand between your thighs, hold a pen to your mouth
Place: Modify your environment (switch your bulbs to red light ones, change the position you are sitting when you are in said place), of course it would be ideal to avoid it fully if possible.
-- Part 3: Execution
Stick to the plans you made in part 2, I recommend keeping 3 - 5 effective ways to get rid of the top 3 most commonly occuring domains you have, for the last two, 1 or maybe 2 ways is good enough. Staying alert the entire day would be exhausting, my advice would be to write down all the high risk places where your BFRB occurs the most and be alert only doing those periods, we want to get rid of those first and foremost. I want you at first to pick the 2 most high-risk environments and work your way down, you should be constantly adapting and morphing, if you fail, you should note down why and try again. If overwhelmed, scale down to something less high-risk.
To avoid relapse after you finally have a very solid, I want you to grade yourself every week based on how many times you failed with less being better. You should make plans for if suddenly extreme pops up (a very stressful exam for example), make sure to be very thorough with your plan. eventually you will scale back down and escape out of this hell. Always remember that you are not back to square one and you are better than 95% of the people with similar issues to you for reaching so far in case of relapse
Closing Notes:
The flexibility of this system can make it quite easy and straightforward to get rid of any negative behavior if properly adapted to it. Raw-dogging getting rid of a such an issue (like spontaneous nofap or overnight diet change) is very retarded and a structured plan like this one mogs to the grave and back any redpill "discipline" bullshit. This system did wonders for me and I hope it will help anyone else with a similar issue
