S
Suits
Iron
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2026
- Posts
- 8
- Reputation
- 2
TLDR: The actual physical action of hooking up isn't nearly as psychologically and socially rewarding as the buildup, and that buildup, essentially is 100% looks based.
I spoke to my friend’s girlfriend yesterday morning. We were talking abt her friend, with whom me, my boy, his gf, have already all hung out together once, and honestly had a real good time. There was no serious flirting, but it was like enjoyable. My friends gf basically said that while it’s not IMPOSSIBLE for there to be some kind of second, more flirty double date, right now I’m pretty firmly in the friendzone. And honestly, wanna know what the gap is between friendzone and endzone?
Looks. It’s always looks. It’s 100% looks.
All this talk about possible commitment issues, what her romantic tendencies are, whether she’s into this or that literally wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t attractive enough to her. Apparently, after I hung out with her, she told my best friend’s girlfriend that maybe she’d date Middle Eastern guys, and there’s this speculation that I kind of look Middle Eastern anyway. But the problem, as always, is looks.
They key thing here is that to me, I actually don't gaf about a hookup, i'm not coming into this looking for that, what I really want, what i truly enjoy, is that "Golden Zone" before anything serious happens, where both parties know there's interest, and its an experience filled with these flirty, sorta teasing moments. And I do my part, i'm privileged to not be nd at all, be super fluid and be able to keep the convo going and all that.
My absolute ideal weekend with my best friend, his girlfriend, and her friend is literally just me and her flirting. Like there’s a VIBE. A VIBE. Getting into the Uber after the pregame and she sits next to me, and during that 20-minute drive to the club we’re just huddled together and it feels sweet. Or holding her hand for a little bit walking around the city. Maybe even that’s too serious. There’s this golden zone with a woman where you BOTH KNOW you’re feeling each other, but nobody has pushed it to the next stage yet. That’s what I want.
And given what I’ve heard about her being open to hookups, it makes me feel like what I’m imagining is actually possible. If she were someone who only wanted deep commitment, was super religious, whatever, then obviously no. But the net undeniable fact in my head is that it all comes down to looks.
And what fucking sucks is that I KNOW this and I can’t do anything about it. I hate that. I know what I need to change and I’m working so hard to change it, but seriously I think hard maxxing is the only way.
The frustrating part is that I know women are attracted to me. I've hooked up w/ multiple women (none of which i was particularily superbly attracted to I will say, all women I met at a bar/social setting, where I low key didn't feel much excitement to even kiss), I have a date planned with another girl, and she’s pretty enough that I offered to take her out and stuff, but I already know I don’t want to date her, i'm lowkey only doing it because I enjoy the casual flirting and just the experience of spending time with a girl, and hopefully she can introduce me to another friend circle i guess.
THIS is the midcel experience. To be trapped in the inbetween. To be able to pull Ltbs u have 0 interest in, but to utterly fail with women you actually are interested in, and want to pursue genuienly.
Sure you can windmill dunk on a 9ft hoop. But NBA standard is 10ft.
I spoke to my friend’s girlfriend yesterday morning. We were talking abt her friend, with whom me, my boy, his gf, have already all hung out together once, and honestly had a real good time. There was no serious flirting, but it was like enjoyable. My friends gf basically said that while it’s not IMPOSSIBLE for there to be some kind of second, more flirty double date, right now I’m pretty firmly in the friendzone. And honestly, wanna know what the gap is between friendzone and endzone?
Looks. It’s always looks. It’s 100% looks.
All this talk about possible commitment issues, what her romantic tendencies are, whether she’s into this or that literally wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t attractive enough to her. Apparently, after I hung out with her, she told my best friend’s girlfriend that maybe she’d date Middle Eastern guys, and there’s this speculation that I kind of look Middle Eastern anyway. But the problem, as always, is looks.
They key thing here is that to me, I actually don't gaf about a hookup, i'm not coming into this looking for that, what I really want, what i truly enjoy, is that "Golden Zone" before anything serious happens, where both parties know there's interest, and its an experience filled with these flirty, sorta teasing moments. And I do my part, i'm privileged to not be nd at all, be super fluid and be able to keep the convo going and all that.
My absolute ideal weekend with my best friend, his girlfriend, and her friend is literally just me and her flirting. Like there’s a VIBE. A VIBE. Getting into the Uber after the pregame and she sits next to me, and during that 20-minute drive to the club we’re just huddled together and it feels sweet. Or holding her hand for a little bit walking around the city. Maybe even that’s too serious. There’s this golden zone with a woman where you BOTH KNOW you’re feeling each other, but nobody has pushed it to the next stage yet. That’s what I want.
And given what I’ve heard about her being open to hookups, it makes me feel like what I’m imagining is actually possible. If she were someone who only wanted deep commitment, was super religious, whatever, then obviously no. But the net undeniable fact in my head is that it all comes down to looks.
And what fucking sucks is that I KNOW this and I can’t do anything about it. I hate that. I know what I need to change and I’m working so hard to change it, but seriously I think hard maxxing is the only way.
The frustrating part is that I know women are attracted to me. I've hooked up w/ multiple women (none of which i was particularily superbly attracted to I will say, all women I met at a bar/social setting, where I low key didn't feel much excitement to even kiss), I have a date planned with another girl, and she’s pretty enough that I offered to take her out and stuff, but I already know I don’t want to date her, i'm lowkey only doing it because I enjoy the casual flirting and just the experience of spending time with a girl, and hopefully she can introduce me to another friend circle i guess.
THIS is the midcel experience. To be trapped in the inbetween. To be able to pull Ltbs u have 0 interest in, but to utterly fail with women you actually are interested in, and want to pursue genuienly.
Sure you can windmill dunk on a 9ft hoop. But NBA standard is 10ft.
